After a Thousand Times

[Love a rob]

After thousand times

1 Chapter

It was a cold and rainy day when I decided to go to an internet café and check my e-mails. I just went up the „Breite Strasse“ in Cologne when I saw a new internet shop right in the middle.
It was completely empty except for a woman behind her desk. I didn´t wonder why this shiny and modern shop was so dead. It was just like in the rest of the shops on the whole street. No one was there.
I entered the shop and the lady looked up from her working.
„Hello“
„Hello, can I go on one of these computers for half an hour?“
„Yes of course. That makes 50 cent.“
Wow I thought. That was really sheep. The other café wanted 2 Euros for one hour!!
„Here you go.“ I gave her the money and made my way to the PC she had pointed her finger at.
As soon as i was in the internet I went on Aol and looked in my e-mails.
One from my bank and one from my ex. Then another from my sister and at the bottom there was one from an adress I didn´t know.
I opened and read:

Hey Ho!
I don´t know if you remember me. We used to play in the sandpit of your grandmother. I called you Marry. How are you? And how is your cat Robstar? He still alive? Are you married now?

Well maybe you know already, it´s me Will =)
I´ve found your e-mail adress in an old adress book of my mum Jan and thought we should meet again.
Do you still know the place we used to go when you had problems with your parents? The lake near your place.
I can remember so good. It was quite the happiest time in my life.

I hope you are going to answer me.

Will, now known as Robbie Williams.



I shut my eyes and when I opened them to see if I hadn´t dreamed this.
It couldn´t be… could it?
We hadn´t talked since so many years! The last time I met him was on his 14th birthday!


I was totally numb as I found myself writing back.

Hey Will!
I´m fine.
I just quit with my husband and am solo now.
You in LA? How´s waether up there? I heard you live next to Tom Jones..?
Still having your tiger panties? You really together with this actrice?

Jessy


I sent the e-mail and got up and went out of the shop.

[Love a rob]

2 Chapter:

I went down the street but I didn´t actually notice my feet walking. I only thought about Will. He was my Love when I was young. And then we had this terrible fight and we hadn´t seen each other since then. Wow. He really knew who I was. I had often thought of him and had bought every newspaper that had written something about him.
I even bought tickets to a show in Cologne 2006 but then I didn´t go cuase I was scared my feelings would come up again. It had taken so long to get over it.

Suddenly I noticed I was in a train. I looked up to see which one it was and then got a shock. I was in the wrong one. This one was going to Frankfurt. Quickly I stood up and ran to the door. It just closed.

"Wait" I screamed, not realising that the door couldn´t understand me. Shoot. I took place on my seat again and hoped impatiently that no conducter would come.

But my bad luck seemed to come up and the porter turned up. I searched a toilet quickly with my eyes and walked as calm as possible. As I arrived I saw the red sign on the lock. So again my bad luck had to show me it was still there. Great.
The guard came to me and looked with an irritated look in my begging face.

„There is another toilet down there in the next wagon“ He said when he interpreted my face wrong.
„Thank you“ I said shyly and made my way as quick as possible toward the wagon he had shown me before he came on another idea.
As I flitted toward the toilet I noticed I had blushed and my face was hot.
This restroom was free and gratefully I entered. Inside I locked the door and sat on the toilet thinking about what to do next.
I washed my face with cold water and thought about everything I could do. Maybe I should just stay in here till the train stopps and I can leave it? I gave this thought a try and stayed in the room.

After 20 minutes or so of waiting in the stinky toilet someone knocked at the door.
„Is there someone in there? Are you okay? Something happened?“
It was the guard again and my breath got quicker. I tried to calm down and was as quiet as possible.
The knocking stopped and I breathed normal again.

Finally the train stopped and I opened the restroom with a smile on my face. That turned to a shock immediatly when I saw the furious queue looking at me and I blushed.
„Sorry“ I said quietly and got as quick as I could out of the train.

[Love a rob]

Chapter 3(sorry, it took me some time o tut what to write next...)

The days passed quickly, as if they ran away from me. I didn´t really care.
Rob had written a few times now. We laughed about the things which had happened to us in life. The last letter was:

hey honey!
Had a great day at the haircut centre in London. I have my old length again…
I hope you liked it xD. But now ist too late if you don´t =)
Hearing the kings of lion with sex on fire. Great song!
Do you fancy seeing me again?
I´m going to be in town next week and if you want we can meet for tea =)
Sammy is on my lap right now and he wants to play something hide and seek, so I have to go and get him run. I hope you are fine.
Rob xxx



The letter had come yesterday. I had written him back immediatly. Was that really a question if I wanted to see him?
Of course I wanted!!!???
What would it be like to see him again?
Since I had readen he letter I looked at my e-mails every hour. Why hadn´t he written back yet?
I tried to calm down myself. But so many questions were in my head. Why did he come to Germany?Would the haircut be like the one he had 2003 (I adored that one)?
I sat on the sofa while I thought about all this. I had a book in my hands but I couldn´t read right now. I just couldn´t get my mind concentrated on anything but Rob. Did my feelings come back? My reaction wasn´t normal. I had to stopp thinking about him. He hadn´t felt any love for me when we were young and he didn´t now.
I got up and went to the desk with my laptop for the 7th time today. I opened AOL. Still no new e-mail. Slowly another feeling came into my body and shifted my mood. What if anything had happenend to him?
I knew this whole situation. Exactly this was what I had felt when my exhusband didn´t come home at night before 11pm. I was sad, worried and angry at the same time.
And though I knew I had sworn to myself never to feel something so strong for a man again I coldn´t help it. Why was life so complicated?
I hated to be in love. It never brought any luck to me. I only got depressed and cried my eyes out.

I spent hours thinking about all this and didn´t really find a solution how to handle my situation. When Rob hadn´t written back at 11pm, I went to bed and slept two hours later.

[Love a rob]

4 Chapter:

In the middle of the night I woke up. My stomach hurted so much I nearly had to scream. As I tried to stand up and get a hot-water bottle the ache got stronger and I fell on the bed again. I opened my mouth and let out a silent scream. What was this about? The ache got stronger with every move I made.
With my arms around my legs I waited impatiently for the pain to stopp. I closed my eyes, hoping for the sleep getting me out of this horrible situation.
Then, when I just wanted to give up and cry of pain, it stopped suddenly.
Slowly I went back in my actual position, scared that the pain could return.
Then, in the next second I was asleep again.
----

It was 4 pm when I woke up. It was Sunday and the sun was lightning my bedroom. In the next second I remembered the pain that came last night. Now that I could think clearly, I wondered what I had had. Probably it was just something unserios. Nothing to worry about now.
Slowly I got up and went into the kitchen. I bowled hot water and made a strong tea. That would make the last sign of tiredness vanish.
With my cup of tea I went to the livingroom and went on AOL for the first time on this day. One new letter it said. Quickly I opened it. But as quickly as the butterflies came into my stomach they left again. It was spam.

I didn´t know how, but I did manage to relax a bit and distract me of my worries about Rob. I turned on TV. There was an animal film going and becuase I had nothing to do, I watched it.
The day passed by quickly. I tried to control myself not looking on AOL too much. Twice a day must be enough!

The last time I checked before I got to sleep, at 12pm. He still hadn´t written. I went to bed and kinda managed to let my worries rested to worry about tommorrow.

[Love a rob]

Chapter 5:

It was a rainy day. When I got up the sun just dissapeared behind a huge cloud and unfortunately didn´t pop up again.
Slowly I got up and went to the bath. The mirror showed a woman with curly hair and small eyes. I couldn´t go out like this. So I decided to make a day off and stay at home. I was used to look at my laptop each hour now and even as used to not having any email. But today there WAS a email. I felt my breath getting unevener and my hands were clammy. The letter was from Rob. He had sent it in the middle of the night. Quickly I popped it up.

He Ho!
Sorry I´m writing just right now… I´m at Jonny´s and my web and walk card kinda fucks off….
Well, I´m in Cologne on Tuesday and Wednesday for some bloody recording things. Yeah you heard right, I´m recording again =)
So, when ya have time? What about Tuesday night at my hotel (I´m staying at the Marriot)? See ya hun!
Rob xxx


My heart made a loop in the air. He was really going to come and SEE me!!!!
So great news! Quickly I thought about which day it was today. One quick look on the calendar told me it was Sunday. So only 2 days! And I had so much to do!!! I had to get a new haircut and go shopping and ahhhhhhhh!!!!

I stood up and ran to my bedroom, changed in my clothes. I found an apple in the kitchen and washed it quickly. With the apple in the left hand, my handbag in the other I was out of the door in 30 seconds. Quickly I went down the stairs, taking two at a time. Once out of the door, I stopped running and went down the way to the bus station.

Suddenly I remembered which day it was and abruptly stopped my going. A woman behind me ran into my back. „ouch!“ she screamed and looked at me with angry eyes.“Sorry.“ I mumbeled and rushed back to the house. I searched the keys in my handbag. But they weren´t there. I looked three times but they absolutly weren´t in the bag. „Fucking shit!“ I said so loud that one of my neighbours looked out of the window. „Everything alright down there Ms. Jonestone?“ he asked with a worried face. „I forgot my keys Mr. Jason. Could you let me in please?“ He nodded and came down. What luck that he had heard me. Or I would have sat on the street for the night. I shuddered at that thought.

In the next moment Mr. Jason was on the other side of the door and opened it. „Thank you very much! You just saved me from a cold day.“
„No problem. Have you got the keys to your apartment?“ „Yeah, I have. I´ve put them in my pocket this morning. But I forgot to take the other key for this door.“ „Good. Come in.“
Together we went upstairs. Mr. Jason was a 42 year old man with brown hair and blue eyes. He lived here with his two children after his wife had died in a car accident. „You look very tired. You should get some sleep.“ He told me and his worried face appeared again. „You´re right. I´ll go straight to bed.“

When I came to the door of my apartment I took the key, said thank you again to Mr. Jason, told him to give a kiss to his two children and wished him a good day. I entered my own world again with a feeling of uselessness.

[Love a rob]

Chapter 6:

The day passed very slowly. I didn´t leave the house a second time and turned my concentration about what I would do next instead. My first decision was that I would have to call at work, so they wouldn´t search me all day. After doing the call I switched on the internet to look for a good haircut company where I could go tommorow. I found one, who had his shop two streets in the east. Again I was fascinated by how small the world was.
After lunch I suddenly realised that I hadn´t written Rob back yet. With the feeling of excitement I sat at the desk and started tipping in whatever came to my mind.
As I send it I wished impatiently, that Rob would write back earlier this time. I got up and went into the bathroom to do the things I could do now already. Afterwards I cleaned up the apartment and left everything in the smell of oranges. If Rob and I did anything… well, at least everything should be ready. By the thought of Rob here in my apartment my bum started to rumble. What would I do if we ended up….
no, I should better not think about that. What would happen would happen, nothing to worry about now. I thought.

When I woke up on Monday, I quickly realised there was a lot to do. Luckely the sun showed her face, which made me a bit more hopeful. Impatiently I turned on my Laptop in the hope, Rob would have answered already. And he had.

hello sweetie =)
I´m going to have some time on Tuesday evening. You want to eat dinner with me?
it´s better the paparazis don´t see me, so why don´t you come to my hotel? I´ve got a kitchen in my room, so we can make something to eat =)
I´m staying at the Marriott in the center of Cologne. Room 1106.
See ya there honey
Rob xoxox



My heart jumped. He really was quick in answering when he wanted to. LOL. I got up enthusiastically and went in the kitchen for breakfast. I took two pieces of bread and some butter and then returned to my PC to write back.

Hey hun=)
Yeah of course =) I´ll be there at 6pm. That ok with ya?
shall I bring something with me? I could bring a cake.

love, jessy


After my “sandwich“ I soon left the house. At first I went to the haircut company I had googled yesterday. The lady behind the desk was very kind and asked me if I wanted to do anything new or just cut of the ends which had gotten too long with the time. I decided to do something new. I was a bit scared firstly because the lady (who was named Laura, like she told me) gave the advice to cut of nearly everything and make a short hair look. When I told her I wasn´t in the mood of changing EVERYTHING, she said we could do a pony and a new haircolour intead. I agreed. So she started working with my hair and did so for 1and a half hours. I hadn´t looked into the mirror, scared what to see there. But when she said she had finished, I finally opened my eyes.
“wow“ was all I could say. My hair were in a dark red now. It made me look so different, I had problems to recognise myself.
Laura asked my softly, if I was content with the new look. I smiled brightly and nodded. She helped out of the chair and then went to the end of the room, where a PC stood. She told me I had to pay 40 Euro and I happily pulled out my money. As I paid, I decided where to go next. I would enjoy a meal at subway and then I´d go to the spa in Cologne-Mühlheim. The spa was very known because Angelina Jolie always was there, when she came to town.
I went out of the shop and slowly made my way to the tram.


When I arrived at the subway, opposite from the spa, it was 13 pm. I made my way into the crowded restaurant and found a place at the end of the room. Though you get your food before you find a seat normally, I directly put my jacket around the chair of the table, so that nobdy could take this last seat place in the room. I went to the end of the queue and waited or the people in front of me to get served.
When I eventually ot the turn, I decided to take the “veggie delite“. The woman behind desk asked me, which sauce I wanted to have on top. She told me some names like joghurt with herbs. Becuase I didn´t have a clue which one would be best on top of this sub, I asked to decide for me. So she made me the veggie delite like she would eat it.When she gave it to me, rapped up in paper I thanked her, payed and went to the table I had chosen before.

After dinner I went over the street to the spa. The entrance remembered of a jungle with many plants and warm air. I immediatly started sweating. I pulled of my jacket and showed the top I wore underneath. It was my fave top. It was all grey with a rose in dark red. Now that it matched with my hair, I even loved it more.
I went to the reception in the middle of a huge hall. The desk was made of wood, like the walls of the room. I felt the warm atmosphere and enjoyed to be here. The decoration welcomed me and I found myself relaxing a bit.

The lady behind the reception had blond hair and her smile showed white wonderful teeth. I wondered if they were real.

„Hello“
„Hello“
„I´d like to have a massage“
„Please wait a second. I´ll have a look, when the next appointment is free.“
She left the hall with a loud klackering of her shoes and dissapeared into a smaller room. When she came back she brought a smaller lady with her, who was called Marina, like she told me. I took the hand she had stretched out and she told her my name.
„Shall we begin?“
„Yes, why not?“
I went in front of her and she lead me to the right room with her hand, which she had layed on my shoulder. With a light push, she made me go into a small corner, which was seperated from the rest of the room with a curtain. With a bright smile she asked me to take of my top and my jeans. I followed her demands and layed myself on the sofa, which she had made ready, while I had changed. With her soft voice she told me to lay down on my back. I closed my eyes and waited for her to begin. But she asked me with which oil she should do so. I chose the chocolat oil, in the hope, the smell would hold on till tommorow evening.
When I closed my eyes again she started working on my body. The music in the backround was a instrumental version of My Way. Now I understood why stars like Angelina Jolie enjoyed their massage here. It was just unbelievable wonderful. Marina started at my feet and then slowly worked herself up to my head. When she had finished, she asked me to turn around. As I did so, she smiled her pretty smile. Then she repeted her doing, but now started at my back. With the time, I the smell of chocolat got stronger and stronger.
Unfortunately, the time went by so quick, that I was surprised when Marina got up, washed her hands and helped me out of the room. What a shame.

The rest of the day I went around Cologne, watching out for the right clothes I could wear. Eventually I found a purple dress, with yellow and red butterflies on it. Though it was very expensive (about 100 Euro), I bought it with my thoughts by Rob. I was sure he would love it. He had adored the flowers in her mother´s garden, when they were small.
With the smell of chocolat in the air and this lovely dress I made my way home. This time I hadn´t forgotten the keys. Instead I hadn´t switched of the lght when I went out of the apartment this morning. Great. Really a huge part in stopping the global warming and keeping my money unspend.


I went to bed at 10pm, because I was so tired, I couldn´t even watch a DVD without taking a nap.
Rob hadn´t written back yet, so I had to hope, he did tommorow. Though I was happy about seeing Rob again tommorow, in this moment I didn´t feel excited. But I wasn´t angry with this fact, because it gave me the possability to sleep well. Soon I was in deep dreams.




Chapter 7:

It suddenly started again. The pain in my stomach had found me back. Another time it came in the middle of the night. I repeted the strategy of just lying there with the hands around my belly. I waited for it to stopp again. But this time it got stronger the longer I lay and so I tried to stand up and get a hot-water-bottle. Also this time it hurted so much, that I nearly lay down on the bed again, but I forced myself to go to the kitchen. I crawled through the house with breaks in between were I sat down on the cold floor. It just didn´t get better. Finally I found the the door to the kitchen and with one hand at the wall I stood up slowly. I let out a silent scream, when I felt the pain getting stonger again. But this time I stayed where I was and switched on the light. I managed to turn on the bowler and sat down on the floor again. After 2 minutes, the water was warm and I filled it into th hotwater-bottle. The bottle in my one hand, the other still holding my stomach, I tumbled back into bed. This time I turned from on side to the other, because it hadn´t got better of waiting. And yes, with every turn I did, the pain got less. I started relaxing. And then, like the other night, I fell asleep again quickly.




That morning I woke up and immediatly remembered what had happened in the night. I was a bit worried, what was wrong after all but I forced myself not to think about it. If it was something serious it would take away the chance to see Rob and that was all that meant right now. But I told myself, that if it would hurt another time, I´d go to the doc. With this decision, the topic was out of my mind.
I turned on the PC, to look if Rob had written back. Again I was a bit surprised because he had.



Hey Jessy=)
Yeah, i´d love to have some cake. That would be really lovely. I´ve been on diet the last three months so I haven´t eaten any sweets for long -.-
No problem if you want to come at six. If you want to you can come some earlier too. I´ll arrive at 2pm at the hotel and then I´m there for the rest of the day.
See ya later honey =)
Finally we meet again =)

Rob xoxox



I made a jump in the air. The clock showed, that it was 10am. So only 4 hours for Rob to arrive!!!!
I ran to the kitchen getting everything out for a chocolat cake. He loved it when we were kids. My mum always made it for us. I hadn´t baked this cake yet so I had to make a little one a first to see if I did it right. I quickly worked myself through the advices of the book. My hands shivered a little so I held them under hot water before I started to crack up the eggs. It took me an hour to finish it. But when I tasted, I knew the time was worth it. It was fantastic. With the one hand still feeding my mouth I took out all the ingredients again to do it again in bigger. Again I worked and worked to make the wonderful chocolat cake. I was a bit scared, that Rob wouldn´t like it anymore but the hope was with me as I put in the sugar. After mixing everything together I turned on the stove and layed the cake inside. It would take another 50 minutes to be finished, so I took the moment to write Rob back. It was 1:45pm.


Hey =)
i´ll do some chocolat cake =) You remember it? The one my mum always made for us.
Ok, if you want me to come earlier I´ll do so. I think I´ll pop up at 4pm =) So in 3 hours xD
Can´t wait to see you again. It´s been so long. =(
Love, Jessy xxx


When I send it, the smell of chocolat already came in the room and let the sun even shine brighter. I smiled to myself, thinking about our meet. Should I take some chmpagne with me? No better not, I had eared about Rob´s drinking addiction. It would be rude to take anything alcoholic with me. So intead I went to my bedroom, to think of which shoes to wear to the dress. I decided to take the red high heeles from Dolce. They were the most expensive shoes I had ever bought. They would deffo fit in the situation. With that in mind, I grabbed them and walked through the appartment to lay them down next to the door. I wasn´t afraid of forgetting them, but it just gave the right feeling of beeing prepared.

I could tell the fifty minutes were over, by the sound of the clock making “driiiiiiiiiing“. I hurried into the kitchen to get the finished cake out of the stove.

It smelled very good. Just like the smaller one. Quickly I rapped it up in some paper. As I put it to the shoes, the door bell rang. I felt the excitement go through my body as the thought of Rob behind the door made itself brighter in my brain.
Of course it wasn´t him standing on the other side, but my ex. He had his hair messed up like always and a bunch of roses in his hands. He smiled at me though he probably saw the happiness rush from my face.
„What are you doing here? I don´t want to see you!“
„Please, Jessy, let me explain. I didn´t want to!“
Yeah that was it. He never wanted to do something. Didn´t want to sleep with this girl. Didn´t want to kiss her. Never actually wanted to meet her. It was something magical that made him do it.
„I´m fed up with you. It´s a shame to think, that I was in love with you once. You are miserable.“
And with these words I shut the door in front of his nose. Then I started thinking about he had come up through the door downstairs without ringing. All at once I remembered he still had a key to my apartment. I had to give him credit, that he hadn´t just opened the door with the key, but let me open it for him. at least he showedd some kindness after all he had done.
I opened the door again and smiled ironically in his face. He looked a bit irritated, that I had opened it again.
„And as your my ex, I want the keys back“ I said and the sudden triumpf on his face vanished in seconds. He just looked at me and I nearly heard his brain making klick. Without saying another word he pulled out the key from his pocket and layed down the roses to the floor. His head sunk down as he turned around to go. I knew this was his last try in winning me back.
I deserved so much better.

[Love a rob]

Chapter 8:


The next hour I spent doing nothing. Well, actually I tried to. It ended up in checking my e-mails twice, eating two apples and making myself mentally prepared.
I went ino the bathroom to put on the make-up and do my hair. I checked everything twice. I shoud look wonderful on our meeting. The more I did, the more nervous I got. I put on the dress and and the shoes and looked n the clock for a last time. It was 3:45pm. It would take 25 minutes to the Marriot, like google had told me. I took the taxi because I didn´t want to go to this noble hotel with my old car. It just didn´t fit into the situation.
So I called the taxi station. They told me to wait 5 minutes. They would send a car out to me. I thanked and waited the final minutes till I couldn´t anymore. I grabbed the cake and the some money and sprinted down the stairs to wait outside. It was horribly cold and I noticed the people watching me. But I didn´t care. For now I would just concentrate on me. I realised I didn´t have a date since some months now. This fact made me even more nervous.
I just wanted to go inside again, because I had gotten quite cold, when the taxi arrived. I jumped into it and told where I wanted to go. The driver smiled weired. I was a bit irritated and worried, if I looked so bad. when I looked down my dress the driver turned around again and started the engine.
Everything looked fine on me so I tried to relax myself and lay back.



The way to the hotel was so long, I could swear it took hours. I looked on my watch 10 times. It just didn´t move.
When we arrived I had goten out th money already to be quick. I gave it the driver. Before I left the car he shook his head. Another time I was a bit irritated. But this time I didn´t care and just went to the entrance. The butterflies in my stomach now flattered so hard I nearly heard them. The portier held the door open for me. I nodded to him and then entered the hall. It was huge like the spa but instead of wood there was gold, wherever you looked. My mouth fell open. But when I noticed, I quickly shut it again. I looked around to see where the elevator is. it was in the corner so I made my way through a japanese group, which had laid their suitcases all on the floor, so that it was hard to find a way, without falling. When I had managed that, I went into the elevator and then the stress began. I didn´t have a clue in which level he was. So I tried it with 11. He had written room number 1106 and maybe I had luck. The elevator closed it´s doors and started to rise. Again the it took very long. When I finally arrived on the 11 etage I looked around. I had luck because it really was the right number. I found the room 1106 on the end of the corridor. Before I rang I looked down my dress again to see if everything was fine. Suddenly I felt so hot, i had problems to breathe.
I rang.

[Love a rob]

Chapter 9:

I started sweating, because I was so excited. Breathing became hard as the door still was closed. It seemed like an forever till the door was opened. My heart made a jump as I thought I´d see Rob now. But it wasn´t him. Another man stared into my eyes and immediatly my corpse jumped back for a meter.
„Miss Jonestone?“ he asked and it seemed like an statement in the same time.
„yes?“ I asked too with an unsure tone. With the time I got panic and was scared by this man. I wanted to run away but my legs didn´t move.
„Rob is waiting in the kitchen. Ehhh, would you come in?“
„I´m sorry, but I´d like to see Rob before I go into this apartment“ I answered and I was surprised how sure I was of myself. Suspiciously, I looked into the room behind the man, to see if it showed any danger. It looked very tidy and some lights were shining from around the corner.
„Oh I´m sorry my lady, I should have told you who I am before. I´m Gary Marshall, the bodyguard and well, we had a woman here before, who said to be Miss Jonestone too and then she wasn´t so we had to do some changings in the safetyorder.“ His voice was soft and really kind. I had to admit that he didn´t look that bad too. His hair was brown and his eyes were blue as the sky. But still, I hesitated a bit to go into the apartment. The bodyguard noticed my unsureness and smiled. He stepped byside to let me into the room. After taking the cake he smiled again. First slowly then a bit more hectic I walked into the apartment. Gary Marshall closed the door and followed me.
„Where is the kitchen, if I´m allowed to ask“
„It´s right behind the corner. There.“
My steps went slower when I came to the kitchendoor, which was closed. Again the same feeling as in front of the other door came. Wow. In there WAS Robbie Williams… Or how I hoped, Will.
I knocked and as I hello came, I entered the kitchen. I probably stood there for some seconds. Just there in the door. I felt his eyes on me and he looked so…. gorgeous. Much more sexy than in my wildest dreams. He smiled and gently stood up from the table he had sat at. He laid down the newspaper he had read and came up to me and hugged me.
„Hello honey! It´s so nice to see you! You look great!“
I blushed immediatly and the warmth I felt made it even harder to say something. But I managed.
„Hey“ I hugged him back and gave him a kiss on his cheek. He did the same.
„do you want to drink something?“ His voice hadn´t changed much since the last time we met. It was a bit more manly but it still reminded me much of the time we were best mates.
„yes please… some water would be great.“
„Here you go.“ He gave me some water and we sat down . Our knees touched under the table and I shivered. He noticed and pulled it back. Shit. The first touch and I had messed it up. I put my feet back too to make it feel normal.
„Oh Gary has the cake. Wait a second.“ I made movements to stand up.
„no, no you don´t have to get it, ehh Gaaary???“ I smiled a bit by the thought that he didn´t want me to go. It helped my self-confidence. Gary came into the kitchen in no time and brought the cake with him. I looked to Rob to see how he would react about it and was pleased he showed bright smile, like you often see it on the faces of children:excited and pleased. „Ain´t this the cake we always ate in our youth? Oh you´re such a sweetie!“
„ehh, yes it is.“ I said, as I went all red in my face. He stood up gently to give me another kiss on the cheek. He seemed to be so…. happy and well-balanced. I hadn´t thought to meet him like this. The silence creeped in and I got a bit panic. What should we talk about? He seemed to think the same because he started to get a bit squirrelly.
„So ehh, how´s life going?“ he asked and though he tried to hide it, his voice shaked a bit.
„Oh, eh, quite good. Just got a job as a secretary in a big company“ I spluttered.
„Really? Great! Congratulations!“
„Thank you“. I blushed again. „How´s your life going? I heard you are together with this actrice. Ayda Fields right?“
With a sudden his face wasn´t so happy at all. He looked down to his fingers on the table and when he looked up tried to fake a smile.
„Ehh, well, we splitted up a week ago. But please don´t tell anyone. The tabloids are writing enough bad stuff about her. We broke up in peace and I don´t want her to get into trouble.“
„oh, I´m sad to hear that. Sorry.“ I wanted to take him into my arms but was scared to be pushed back. So I chose the compassionate look. His lips were pressed together as if he wanted to hold back the tears that were about to come. His eyes were sad but he tried not to look into mine, as if he were ahamed of his sensibility. I felt bad, that I had asked and wanted to abstract him a bit.
„Sooo, you are recording again? What´s the new stuff like?“
He was a bit surprised, that I had switched so quick and it took him a second to answer.
„Yeah it´s great. I am working on the best music I have ever done! I hope everyone likes it“
„that sounds great. Are you going to tell me what genre it is?“
„no“ he said and a sparkling was in his eyes. „you have to wait till it comes out“ he grinned. I smiled back but innerly I was a bit dissapointed not to hear about it.
Again silence filled the room and I thought going to the toilet would be good. That was what girls always did in films when they were at a man´s apartment.
„ehh, where is the toilet?“ He smiled bright as if he also thought about the films and told me:“ around the corner, then to left and at the end of the way there is a door.“
„thank you.“ I stood up and went to it. Once in the bathroom, I sat down on the toilet and looked into the mirror right in front of me. Like a good girl, I had taken my lip gloss with me, so I put it on. Just as I wanted to stand up and go to the door again, i felt a pain in my stomach. It was harder than the ones I had before. Harder than I had ever. I kind of fell to the floor and crouchedmyself in a funny way. I felt my pulse getting quicker and I felt dizzy in the next second. I collapsed.