CHAPTER 1



“Just who the hell do you think you are?” Leila looked up, annoyed at being interrupted with her dance routine. It was late at night and everyone had already left at least an hour ago. Rob was standing against the wall next to the mirrors in the old dance studio. “Are you always this rude?” he asked and looked at her with a grin on his face. “Can’t you see that I’m busy working?” she asked instead of answering his question. He shrugged his shoulders, “everyone left a long time ago. What are you still doing here?” Leila could feel her temperature rising dangerously, “I’m not everyone and it’s none of your bloody business,” she answered curtly, trying to concentrate on her practiced moves. For a few moments, neither said anything, and Leila feverishly hoped that he would just turn around and leave her alone. “Why don’t you call it a night and I’ll take you for a quick cup of coffee?” She snorted, “What gives you the idea I would want to go out with you?” He shrugged his shoulders, “this is not a date in case you misunderstood. I’m trying to be nice.” She ignored his remark and continued dancing, focusing her attention on her image in the mirrors.

Rob looked at the woman while she danced and smiled to himself. She wasn’t pretty in the conventional manner, but there was something very attractive about her. Leila joined his dance troupe a few months ago after one of the regular dancers sustained an injury. She was about his height and that was where the similarities ended. She had short dark hair that she wore in a messy style that suited her facial features. Her eyes were the colour of a restless sea; a blue grey that could look right through you or could sparkle with laughter. Her face had a slight angular shape and a straight nose with a few stray freckles. He pulled himself away from his thoughts and couldn’t help but notice how well shaped her legs were, and for a brief moment, he imagined what her legs would feel like wrapped ... He mentally shook himself; she wasn’t interested, and she made it clear from the moment they were introduced.

When he watched the audition videos, she immediately stood out from all the applications they received. Her resume was also very impressive. She started dancing at a very young age, her mother being a Las Vegas showgirl. She studied classical dancing in New York and London. She graduated first in her class and took a few years off to learn different dance styles. She was spotted by a choreographer and was chosen to dance for some of the big names in the music industry. She also made her appearance in a few music videos for various artists, and became well known in the industry. She stated on her application that she wanted a change and that’s how she landed being part of the Robbie Williams dance group.

Leila watched Rob from the corner of her eye while she danced. She wished that he would just leave; he was irritating her to no end. She tried to figure out why he got to her in such an intense way. She knew who he was; Robbie Williams, world superstar, and on top of his profession. She also knew what was written about him in the tabloids but didn’t believe it for a minute. Growing up in a house where both her parents were in the entertainment world, she knew how quickly and mercilessly journalists could twist the truth into lies. She watched as first her father and then her mother going through the agony of endless speculation in the tabloids. Leila grew to hate all journalists, not trusting them for a moment. She vowed that they would never have the privilege of defiling her, and used her grandmother’s maiden name.

She acknowledged that Rob was indeed a very attractive man, and had the charm to have any woman his heart desired. She watched as he dated various women during his career and could feel the disgust at seeing right through them. In her opinion, they were all opportunists, and were only using him for what he could do for them. He was either too naïve or too stupid to realise this and she felt that he deserved to be associated with these type of women. His break-ups were very public most times, and she heard more than enough stories via the grapevine of all the gory details. Then of course, there was also Rob’s notorious sleeping with his groupies. She didn’t quite know how to respond to that, and felt utter disgust at these so-called women that would sleep with a star and then blab their story to the first newspaper that would offer them cash. In her eyes, these women deserved the ridicule that came their way from the public.

Leila was so deep in thought that she never realised that the music was switched off. “I don’t think you’re going to do any better tonight. Tomorrow’s another day you know, and besides, the tour only starts in 2 weeks.” Rob’s voice was flippant as he made his way towards her. “Come on, let’s go.” She looked at him in amazement, “you just don’t get it, do you?” she asked, her voice loud in anger. “I’m here to do my job and no one is gonna tell me when to stop practicing!” Rob smiled indulgingly, as if dealing with a spoilt child. “You seem to forget one thing” he said as he folded his arms across his chest. She looked at him, her eyes flashing fire. “And that is?” she asked sarcastically, at that moment almost hating him for being so insisting. “I’m the boss and I say you’ve practiced enough for one night” he answered, a satisfied smirk on his face. Leila knew that if she didn’t back down, this ridiculous conversation could last the whole night.

She opened her mouth to respond, and just then a shrill voice interrupted her; “Robbie? Are you here? Rob?” She saw the look of annoyance on his face, and couldn’t help feeling glad that the strange female appeared the moment she did. A blonde 20-something female appeared in the door and when she spotted Rob, she hurriedly came forward. “I see you have company … Boss. I’ll leave you to it then. Sleep tight now.” If looks could kill, Leila would’ve dropped dead on the spot; Rob was furious and it showed in his eyes; they were flashing angrily. She picked up her kitbag and towel and waved at Rob and his partner before disappearing through the backdoor. She was smiling as she made her way to her car, feeling that for now, she has won this round.

Rob watched Leila leave the studio and wanted to call out a remark to her but words failed him. She really got under his skin and he didn’t know if he liked it, or if the feeling left him immensely frustrated. He turned towards his companion with a plastered smile on his face, “what’s your name again love?” The blonde looked at him with a pout, “how could you forget so quickly after last night? It’s Mickey.” Rob rolled his eyes, feeling irritation choking him at hearing her voice. It’s gonna be a long night … unless … He turned to her, “Mickey, I won’t be able to make our date tonight. Chris and Max are waiting for me in the studio; there’s still some songs we’d like to work through.” He didn’t feel guilty of the lie; he’s done it so often in the past that the words just rolled off his tongue. The woman looked at him, disappointment written on her face. “But Robbie …” He looked at her, “not tonight ok? I’m busy.” She must’ve sensed his mood because she nodded obediently, “Ok then, but promise you’ll call? We can always get together on another night.” He nodded absently, not intending to keep the promise at all. He suddenly felt tired; his verbal sparring with Leila left him in no mood for female company at all. He wanted to get home and just relax before getting some sleep.

Softly cursing under his breath, he took Mickey under the arm and steered her towards the door. “Come on, I’ll call you a cab.” She followed him and tried to make conversation, but quickly gave up, as the only responses she got, were grunts from Rob. He waited with her until the cab arrived, making empty promises of keeping in touch. He watched until the red lights from the cab turned the corner, before walking back to the apartment he rented for his stay in London.


After a shower and making some coffee, Rob made himself comfortable in front of the television, hoping to find a channel that showed something that would hold his interest until he fell asleep. It was one of those nights where there was absolutely nothing to watch, and after surfing all the channels more than once, he threw down the remote with disgust. He didn’t feel like playing Play Station games either, and out of desperation, he switched on his laptop. Instead of googling himself like he does often, he decided to see what the Internet had to offer on Leila. No matter what combinations he put into the search engine, nothing came up that had remotely anything to do with her. He didn’t even know her last name and realised that his search was futile.

He picked up his mobile and dialed a number. After a long time, the call was answered; “hello Chris, did I wake you?” He heard a mumbled response on the other end of the phone but chose to ignore it. “What do you say to a game of Scrabble? Good, I’ll wait for you …”

After ending the call, Rob walked out onto the little balcony adjourning the dining room. The air was cold and wet and he grimaced as he looked up into the sky. He looked at all the lights flickering around the city and suddenly felt like the only living, breathing person on the planet. His mind wondered to Leila; he recalled their meeting earlier on, and wished that he approached her differently. She was definitely someone that you had to treat with gloves; she wasn’t a pushover. He recalled the look in her eyes when she looked at him, her blue eyes flashing intensely at his interruption. His imagination was all over the place and for a moment indulged in a fantasy of what Leila’s eyes would look like in the heat of passion. He felt aroused suddenly and cursed, “Fuck it Leila!” He turned around quickly and walked back into the apartment, his breathing harder and his hands trembling slightly.

CHAPTER 2


For the next few days, Leila didn’t see Rob and she was secretly glad because of it. The man had the ability to get to her, invading her space and making her nervous. She’s had her share of relationships throughout her career, but none of them ever had the potential to grow into something more. She always found some fault or some reason why it couldn’t work; her career was always the number one choice in her life. She hasn’t met the man yet that made her think twice about what she would do with the rest of her life. She found that most men she dated had the notion of trying to tell her how to lead her life, what to do and what to think. She was much stronger than that; life had taught her a few lessons of its own. She was strong-willed and determined to succeed, she made sacrifices that to others seemed unnatural, but Leila was focussed and sure what she wanted to do. She knew that the lifespan of her career wasn’t long; another 3 years at the most and then she’d have to find something else to do. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life in the entertainment environment. Ideally, when she bowed out of dancing, she would like to open a dance school, specifically focussed on training young men and women that aimed to join the entertainment industry.

She was also a bit of a loner. She didn’t make friends easily within her environment, knowing about the jealousy and *****iness amongst the women. The few friends she had were all people that had 9 to 5 jobs, normal people with little knowledge of the behind-the-scenes business she was involved in. They all knew about her dedication to her work, and were not surprised anymore if they don’t see her for months. She kept in touch via quick phone calls and quirky e-mails; she made special time once a week, no matter where she is, to stay in touch with family and friends.

Tiredly she wiped the sweat from her brow when Janie, their choreographer, called the day’s practice a wrap. Everyone was excited about the European tour commencing in a few day’s time. This would be the first time that Leila would be part of a dance troupe that will be on the road for more than 3 weeks, and she was looking forward to the new challenge. Janie reminded them that they’re due for another grueling practice session early the next morning, and groans could be heard amongst the group of women. “This is no picnic ladies, this is hard work. You should be used to this by now. You know that Rob only expects the best.” At hearing the name, Leila pulled a slight face and vowed to avoid him as much as she could until they go on tour in less than a week.

She waved and greeted her colleagues before heading for the door. She was deep in thought and didn’t notice the figure hastily stepping through the door. She almost lost her footing when she bumped into the figure and immediately angry words rushed to her lips. “Seems as though we meet again Leila” a lazy voice remarked, and when she looked up, green eyes were holding hers captive, a playful smile playing around Rob’s lips. “Not if I can help it” she said, and picked up her towel from the floor. He tried to block her exit, holding out his arms, “where you off to in such a hurry?” She sighed loudly, getting annoyed with his childish behavior. “In case you didn’t notice, I’m sweaty and am on my way home to have a shower.” He grinned, “I could always wash your back if you can’t reach …” His words hung in the air, heavy with suggestion. “What happened to your blonde friend? Why don’t you wash her back? I’m sure she’d like that. Who knows … it might even lead somewhere.”

The moment the words left her mouth, she regretted them. She knew that she overstepped the boundaries between boss and worker. She sneaked a look at his face, not knowing what to expect. What met her eyes was something that she could never imagine in her wildest dreams; he was laughing at her. His eyes were twinkling merrily, challenging her, knowing that she was at a disadvantage this time. She was blushing, realizing that Rob was one up on her. She cursed softly, wishing she could be more mindful of what she said. When he finally stopped laughing, he shook his head slightly, “oh Leila, maybe you wish that you were in her place …” She couldn’t believe her ears, couldn’t comprehend what he just said. She wanted to retort, say something to lash out, hurt him perhaps, but the words stuck in her throat. He stood to one side to let her through. When she slowly walked past him, he bent forward slightly, his mouth at her ear; “you look good Leila, sweaty or not.” She gave him a look that would wither a flower, but it was lost on him. He felt immensely good about himself at that moment; she was at a loss for words for once, and he got in the last word.

When Leila got home a short while later, she was still fuming at her interaction with Rob in the studio. She threw her towel into the corner of the little lounge and let her bag drop to her side. The man had a nerve! She wanted to hit something, anything, to rid herself of her frustration. She headed for the shower and stood under the hot spray of water rushing over her body. She closed her eyes, willing herself to relax. Minutes later, after thoroughly scrubbing her body and washing her hair, she toweled herself dry. She got dressed in a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt, and no shoes. She made her way to the kitchen and opened the fridge, looking for something to eat. She took some ingredients from the shelves, and impulsively, decided to make some pasta and a thick creamy sauce. She grinned softly when she realised that she’d probably had to work twice as hard the next day because of the extra calories, but couldn’t be bothered at that moment. While the pasta cooked, she took a bottle of cider from the refrigerator and made herself comfortable at the kitchen table. She opened her laptop to check her messages and smiled when she saw an e-mail from her friend in Ireland. She took a sip from the bottle and eagerly opened her mail.

She had met Skye a few years ago in Dublin when she was taking a few classes in Irish tap-dancing. Skye also attended the classes, a hobby that she took up after attending a few tap-dancing shows. They became instant friends, and Skye made her feel welcome, and took it upon her shoulders to show Leila the delights of Dublin. It was only after about 2 weeks that Skye confided that she was working in the public relations offices of the Irish super group U2. Leila squealed with delight; she had always loved their music. While she grew up in the US, U2 toured the country extensively, and because of her connections in the industry, she managed to see them a few times in concert. She loved their music, the lyrics that spoke to your heart and the genuine genius of their performances. She’s met the front man Paul Hewson, better known as Bono to his fans, on a few occasions. She instantly liked him, sensing his warm and caring energy. The spoke for a few moments and the meeting made a lasting impression on Leila. She wouldn’t mind working with them, but knew that they never used any dancers in their shows or music videos. She followed their career from a distance, always proud when she heard that they achieved some awards for their work.

The e-mail from Skye was informative and funny; her letters were filled with the stresses of work, but also the funny side of her job. She shared with Leila the ups and downs of what’s happening in her personal life. She was in a relationship with the Gabriel, U2’s sound engineer, and from the sounds of it, it was quite serious. Apparently they were going into the studio in the next few weeks to record a new album, and Skye wanted to know when Leila was coming to visit.

Finishing her cider, she replied to the mail, informing Skye that she’s leaving on an extensive 8-week tour of Europe with the Robbie Williams entourage. She told her of the intensive dance training and her few skirmishes with the star himself. She poured out her feelings about the man to Skye, telling her how he always managed to get to her. She ended her letter, saying that she hoped he stayed out of her way; that she wasn’t in the mood for his advances. She almost forgot to mention that they’d be in Dublin in a few days time, and suggested they get together. She hit the send button and sat back with a smile. She always enjoyed their conversations, even though Skye could be a drama queen with the best of them. She was a special woman, and Leila felt as though the other woman understood the triumphs and tragedies of their world.

The dance group had 2 more grueling practice sessions before having some time off before they were to leave on tour. Leila used this time to update her family and friends that she’d be away for a few weeks, but would keep in touch. She also gave her tiny apartment a good clean and threw away all the unnecessary junk she liked hoarding. She packed her bags a day before they were due to leave, being a seasoned traveler by now. When she was finished, there was only one large bag with her clothes and a much smaller one that held her cosmetics. When she closed the last lock, she sat down and for a brief moment wondered what the next few weeks were going to bring her way.

Quite a distance away from where Leila stayed, Rob was pacing the floors in his messy apartment. Things were strewn over the bed and the floor; clothes and items discarded at the whim of its owner. He was restless. He didn’t know if he was ready for the tour. As always, just before they embark on a tour that would take him out of his home country, he would feel massive doubt gnaw on him constantly. He worried about things that he paid other people to do; the venues, the hotels, the paparazzi that always made a nuisance of themselves, and of course, his publicity people that ensured that what he said, goes. He knew deep down that there was no reason why this tour would not be bigger and better than the previous one. The tickets to the concerts were sold out months ago in record time; the demand always bigger than the supply. He was enticed to take his tour to South-East Asia, and after close consultations with the concert organizers and management, he declined; promising that he would include that part of the world when he promotes his new album due for release early the next year.

With a sigh, he fell backwards onto his bed, his hands behind his head. He closed his eyes, wanting the rushing around of the all the thoughts in his mind to stop. He tried concentrating on ‘happy’ thoughts, letting his mind wander to better times; times when he was carefree and happy. There were not a lot of those memories in his life, but the few that mattered to him the most, were the ones that sustained him when things got a bit rough.

Out of nowhere, Leila’s image popped into his mind, and Rob groaned softly. He hasn’t seen her since that day when she bumped into him at the studio. He tried seeing her, but he was either always too late, or tied up with the last few details of the tour. She obviously stayed clear of him, not liking him for some reason. He’s tried to forget about her, think of other, more pleasant things but her image stayed put in his mind. Her face would haunt him at the most unlikely times; when he was busy rehearsing, during the day when he was in meetings or at night when he tried to sleep. Her eyes would search his, almost as if she was waiting for him to say something, anything that would cause a reaction. He admitted that these images of her would cause his breathing to quicken, making him wish that they could come to some kind of understanding. There were times that he wished they could stop playing their silly, childish games. But on the other hand, he secretly enjoyed their verbal sparring, waiting to see who gets the better of the other.

He smiled as he recalled her facial features when he hinted that she wished she were the one in his shower. Her cheeks had a shade of red, and he was willing to bet that it wasn’t a sudden rush of anger. The way she quickly looked down and avoided his gaze, confirmed that she was embarrassed; maybe for a moment, she was harboring those thoughts too. “One day soon Leila, one day soon when you least expect it” he whispered his promise into the night before sleep finally claimed him. Not even in his dreams did she leave him alone. She was teasing him, gently taunting him, and inviting him to come closer. The more he wanted to step closer, she just as quickly move further back. When he eventually caught up with her, holding her hand in his, she smiled at him. “Now wasn’t that worth it Mr. Superstar?”



CHAPTER 3


Their first concert was at Wembley Stadium, home of some of the biggest and best concert performances from a variety of artists through the years. As far as the eye could see, it was a mass of hands and faces, banners waving in the air. The atmosphere was electric, and the crew could feel the energy from the crowd behind the stage. There was nervous chatter amongst them, everyone looking forward to show off the months of preparation. Rob was talking to them, giving them a pep talk. “We are the fucking best in the business. Let’s go out there and give them their money’s worth.” Loud applause from the group as they huddled together; it was time for the pre-concert prayer. This would be the first time that Leila would be part of the ceremony, and she was a little nervous. She knew the words of the prayer off by heart, having read it somewhere and the words stuck in her mind. Too soon the moment was over, and the band and dancers were ushered out of the room onto the stage.

Leila stood in her place, listening to the chanting of the crowd, just meters away from the stage. Excitement and exhilaration filled her, making her feel alive and impatient for the show to begin. The band started playing the intro notes of “Radio” and just then the crowd started screaming. The noise was deafening; 80 000 people screaming ‘Robbie!’ in various tones of loudness. The sound was electrifying and the next moment the star himself burst onto stage, dressed in jeans, a light-colored shirt and a longish black jacket buttoned only in the middle. “He’s chosen my attic, I feel a little static …” the rest of the words were a blur as the crowd cheered and screamed their appreciation. Leila forgot everything around her and concentrated on the music, letting the practiced moves come to her naturally. She gave herself over to the rhythm of the music and felt the familiar freedom taking her away from her surroundings. She intuitively became one with the music, expressing her emotions and her feelings. She glanced at Rob a few times but didn’t really see him; they were both in their own worlds.

Rob was making an effort to enjoy himself but found it a little difficult. It was the first night of a tour after being out of the limelight for more than 6 months. Everything was overwhelming him; the lights, the music, the screaming. The faces in front of him were a blur; he couldn’t see any specific facial features. For a few moments he panicked, wanting to bolt off stage. He turned slightly and caught Leila’s eyes. There was a fire burning in the blue depths and somehow he sensed an urging on from her side; unknowingly she gave him something to restore his balance. The fear and uncertainty left him suddenly, and in its place, left him with confidence in himself and his music. Almost instantaneously he felt the difference and he turned back to his audience, giving them his undivided attention.

By the time the last note had died down after the second encore, the entourage was backstage, exhilarated with their experience. Shouts of congratulations were heard between laughter and jokes, and the atmosphere was one of jubilation. Leila made her way towards the dressing room to change into something more comfortable. She smiled as she received some remarks from the crew and realised that she did a great job tonight. She was well and truly part of the closely-knit group of people, and it felt so good to feel you belonged somewhere. “Leila” a voice called behind her, forcing her to stop. She turned around and saw Rob walking towards her with a tired smile. He was holding up his hands, “I come in peace I swear” he said and looked sincere. She couldn’t help but to smile back, “I’m not gonna bite of your head if that’s what you’re thinking” she answered. He looked shy suddenly, “I just wanted to say that you did a great job out there tonight, you know your stuff.” She nodded and acknowledged the compliment, “Do you make a habit of complimenting new staff?” He smiled to hide his embarrassment, looking up. “You’re not making this any easier for me are you?” When she wanted to answer, he held up his hand again, “what I really wanted to say is thank you.” She looked at him, questions in her eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about” she said softly, trying to think what on earth he could possibly mean. “There on stage tonight … in the beginning … I was ready to run off stage. But then I caught the look in your eyes … and well … it gave me back my confidence.”

Whatever it was she was expecting to hear from him, the words she heard from his mouth certainly wasn’t. She tried to search her mind, seeking to find the time he was referring to. She couldn’t think what he was possibly talking about. She was thunderstruck when she recalled the one fleeting moment, almost right in the beginning of the concert, when he looked directly at her. She saw the slight panic on his face, the little-boy-lost look in his eyes, and knew that everything was too much for him. She immediately realised that if she didn’t do something, he might very well just turn around and walk off stage. She couldn’t say anything because he never would’ve heard her above the screaming and the music. She looked at him intently, silently conveying to him that he’s going to be fine and that he can do this. She swore afterwards that she could see something ‘click’ in his eyes, and when he turned away from her, he was exactly the unequalled performer the fans and critics alike claimed. He was watching her, saw the recognition in her eyes. She looked down, and mumbled softly, “it was nothing really.” He smiled, “well Leila, I just wanted to say thank you for the ‘nothing’ you did for me; you probably saved my life and the rest of the tour.” She nodded and before either could say another word, they were interrupted by Gary, pulling Rob back to where the band was chatting. He smiled one last time in her direction before leaving with Gary. She watched while he walked away, and for the first time since she met him, she felt a twinge of sympathy for him.

The next morning, the performance of the night before, got overall good reviews. Of course, there were always the tabloids that tore the concert to pieces; saying that Rob was overrated and his performance was average. This caused a lot of outrage with the very fans that attended the concert. Message boards and Internet forums were working overtime as various people aired their views and general feeling of being pissed off with the tabloid writers, if you could call them that. There was even a petition doing the rounds on the net to boycott the various tabloids that printed such untruths. Rob was sitting up in bed, laptop on his knees as he read some of the public’s reviews of the concert. He couldn’t help laughing at some of the remarks posted on various forums by his fans. Some of it was quite outrageous, but the most were honest feelings and emotions conveyed. There was a general feeling of unity on what the fans were feeling and thinking. “Take that you fuckers, the nation has spoken,” he said aloud as he read another fan’s review of his concert. Satisfied that his fans were behind him all the way, did he log off and switched off the laptop.

They had another 3 concerts in Britain before leaving for Ireland. After each concert, the hype around the tour intensified to such extremes, that extra security had to be implemented. Everyone that was a part of the entourage, were informed of the new security measures, and asked to use their discretion when it came to safety matters. Leila never experienced anything like this in her life before; it was the first time that she had to be careful about her safety and of that of the rest of the touring group. She realised just how popular Rob really was; things were not always as easy as what they appeared. She gave him credit once again for being so committed to his trade and to the fans out there that have always loved and supported him, no matter what the general feeling was. She also had to acknowledge that she really underestimated Rob; the man was a genius in every sense. She doesn’t know about any artist around that would go to the lengths that he does to ensure the increased security of his crew. Some artists disregarded the worth and value of their crew, the people that do the ‘menial’ work. Not Rob. He realized what a huge part these people play in his life, and he was willing to ensure that the group, as a whole, has a successful tour.
Leila sat on her bed, her back against the wall. She had her laptop on next to her, busy writing Skye an e-mail. She told her about the concerts so far and the general hype around the tour. She also mentioned that she was looking forward to see her friend again in a few hours when they arrive in Dunlin for one concert. She ended her email to Skye with the following words; ‘I’m starting to wonder if I was totally wrong about Mr. Superstar Skye. Let’s face it; the man has the ego the size of the whole British Isles, and he thinks that any woman would fall over their feet when he snaps his fingers. But you know, I can’t help feeling that maybe, someday this assumption on my part is gonna come bite me in the arse.”

Hi All,

Here we are - chapters 4 & 5. Please be prepared for some ... err ... look at chapter 5 & decide for yourself. :p I hope you enjoy!



CHAPTER 4

The Irish capital welcomed them with open arms. There were hundreds of fans waiting at the hotel they stayed in, and the majority of them were happy enough to just get a glimpse of Rob as he was quickly ushered into the lobby by his security. There were banners that proclaimed their love for Rob, shouts from the fans, letting him know that they loved and supported him. Just before he walked through the doors, he turned around, facing the fans. There was a huge grin on his face when he spotted a banner that read; ‘Fuck the press Rob, you ARE the news!’ He lifted his hand and showed the crowd thumbs up and they erupted in loud applause just as he stepped through the open doors.

The crew had the rest of the day off as the concert was scheduled the following night, and Laura quickly dumped her luggage before calling Skye. They arranged to meet later that afternoon at a small café just down the road and close to where Skye worked. She had a quick shower and dressed warmly; the weather outside was cold and windy. She decided to go for a walk; she’d been to Dublin a few times before, and she fell in love with the city the first time she saw it. She recognised all the little shops and landmarks as she walked and took some time to stand still and just savor the moment. She complete lost track of the time, and only when she heard her mobile ring and recognised Skye’s number, did she realise that she was late for their meeting. She answered the call, promising her friend that she’d see her in a few minutes.

Their reunion was joyful and loud. People passing them by either shook their heads in wonder or smiled at the sight of the two attractive women greeting each other. They took a table close to the window and started talking as if there was no tomorrow. Memories were shared with lots of ‘do you remember?’ before changing to other topics. They shared their news and Skye informed Leila that her and Aiden’s relationship were becoming quite serious. Skye grinned happily, as she held her friend’s hand. “I’m so happy for you Skye! It’s been such a long time that you’ve been really happy.” Skye nodded, “It’s different this time Leila … Aiden is just … well, he’s amazing! And to think that he’s been there all this time and I was too blind to see him!” Leila laughed, “Isn’t that usually the case? The ones we least expect it from …” Her friend sat up suddenly, a mischievous grin on her pretty face, “and?” Leila looked at her, knowing exactly what she was talking about, but trying to buy some time. “And what?” she asked innocently, hoping that Skye would drop the subject. “Your last e-mail … you hinted that you might’ve been wrong about …” Leila interrupted her, “I changed my mind. He’s nothing in my life; he just pays my salary that’s all.” Even to her own ears, her little speech sounded pathetic, but it was the best she could come up with. Before Skye could comment, her mobile rang; it was Aiden, inviting her and Leila to the studio where he was busy working.

The visit was an interesting one and one that Leila wouldn’t easily forget. When she and Skye arrived, Aiden was already waiting for them. The proper introductions were made, and Leila could see why her friend was madly in love with Aiden. Besides the fact that he was an attractive man with dark brown hair and dark green eyes, he had an easy manner about him that spoke of his inner calm and peace with who he was. She could see how his calm manner has influenced her sometimes highly-strung friend. She was really happy for them and told them as much. Aiden offered them a tour of the studio and apologized that none of the band members were in attendance. Leila felt slight disappointment; she was secretly hoping that she could meet the rest of the band. They waited for Aiden to finish whatever it was he was busy with, and went out for an early dinner.

It was a lovely evening and they shared lots of laughs as they shared stories and anecdotes of known artists in the music industry. It was much later, and with a promise to see them at the concert the following evening, that Leila left in a cab. She felt tired and sleepy and when she arrived back at the hotel, the only thing she wanted to do is have a long hot bath and then fall into bed. She noticed a small piece of paper when she pushed open her door, and bent to pick it up. With a frown, she unfolded the paper and let her eyes read the one sentence a few times; ‘Coffee tomorrow morning? Fetch you at 8.00am.’ The note wasn’t signed, but Leila knew who the writer was. She groaned, and let the note drop to the table in the entrance. She didn’t have the energy or the inclination to even begin to wonder what he was up to now.

Half-hour later Leila was snuggled up in bed after a hot shower. Her mind went over her meeting with Skye, and she smiled at her friend’s obvious happiness. Aiden seemed to be a very nice man, and she just knew that he could make her friend happy. She frowned slightly when she remembered Rob’s note under her door. What on earth did he want with her? Why did he want to have coffee with her? Surely, if it were work related, he’d discuss it with Jamie. She sighed and closed her eyes; decided that she’d deal with all these issues in the morning.

A persistent knocking on the door woke Leila up. She was still in the grips of deep sleep and tried to ignore the noise. “Leila? Are you there?” a voice asked. She sat up sleepily and peeked at her alarm clock; it was exactly 8.00am. “Shit!” she mumbled and got up, hastily walking to open the door before he woke up the whole hotel. She unlocked and opened the door, “what? Are you insane? Do you know what time it is?” Rob looked at her, surprise on his face. “Didn’t you get my note?” he asked and looked perplexed. She nodded, “I did yes. But I got in late and caught up on some sleep.” He leaned against the doorpost and folded his arms across his chest. “Are you gonna invite me in or are you taking a chance with someone seeing me outside your hotel room?” She gave him a look that spoke of annoyance, “you should’ve thought of that yourself! You could’ve called me or something.” She stood to one side and sighed, “You better come in then.” He grinned and walked into the room, taking in how neat and tidy the room was in comparison with his own. She indicated to a chair, “you better take a seat, I won’t be long. I’m just going to get dressed quickly.” He nodded and instead, walked over to the window that had a view of a bridge across a river. He let his eyes roam the old building in the city and again sensed the feeling of being home. Ireland always had that effect on him; the Irish people always made him feel welcome, and supported him.

In the adjoining room Leila got dressed in a pair of corduroy pants and a thick sweater; it was cold and rainy outside. She pulled on a pair of thick thermal socks and well-worn brown boots. She washed her face, and brushed her hair and looked at her image in the mirror. She wanted to put on some mascara but decided against it. “This is not a date” she told her reflection in the mirror and turned around to walk back into the room.

“I’m ready” she announced and looked at Rob. He turned around and smiled; “thank God you’re not one of those females that takes hours to get ready just for a cup of coffee.” She was tempted to pull her face, but decided against it; he was merely making a general statement. “Where are we going for coffee?” she asked over her shoulder. “I thought the safest place without being seen would be in my room.” He delivered the words quite calmly and waited for the reaction he was sure was going to come. She stopped and turned around, “your room?” she asked. When he nodded, she continued, “Are you daft? What if someone sees me there?” Just now they think …” She kept quite, realizing she already said too much. Rob was quicker and knew immediately what she wanted to say. “That you and I have something going on? So what’s wrong with that?” he asked mockingly. She blushed and didn’t look into his eyes, “I do not mix work with pleasure; I think you just get yourself into too much shit.” Her words surprised him; he honestly expected her to say something about her virtues or not being that kind of women. So that means … He shook his head, and dismissed the thought; he didn’t need that kind of distraction right now. She looked good this morning and he stole a quick glance in her direction. He noticed how the pants fitted over her hips and butt, and wanted to touch her, badly.

She sensed his eyes on her and turned towards him; “shall we go then before anybody else wakes up?” He nodded and followed her out the door, falling into step next to her. When they reached his room, he opened the door with a flourish and let her walk first. She took a few steps, stopped and looked around, “wow! I like your room, it’s really nice!” He shrugged, “it does the job yes, but to be perfectly honest with you, I prefer a much smaller room. I hate waking up in the middle of the night and walk a mile to get to the bathroom.” She looked at him in amazement, and saw that he was indeed serious. She was always under the impression that all artists always wanted the biggest and best rooms, but not this man; he would be quite happy to have a room the size of a matchbox. She looked at him and smiled mischievously, “you wanna trade for the night?” He was caught unawares by her sense of humor, but when he saw the sparkle in her eyes, did he realise she was joking. He laughed and shook his head, “you almost had me there Leila. You should chill out more, it suits you.” The compliment was sincere and she took it that way, nodding her thanks.

He steered her to a small glass enclosed little balcony where they had a partial view of some boats on the river. There was a table already set and Leila sat down. Rob smiled, “I hope you don’t mind but I already ordered a fresh pot of filter coffee and some breakfast, I’m starving!” She grinned, “I could almost start to like you just for that! I love good coffee and breakfast would be great.” He smiled relieved, “I wasn’t sure … didn’t know what you’d eat …” He sounded unsure and for a moment, she actually felt sorry for him. He made the effort to be gracious and the least she could do was to thank him. “I’m sure your choice would be great thank you. I do like to have a decent breakfast; need the energy for all the practice.” He looked relieved, and started asking her about her impressions of the concert so far, and what she enjoyed the most. She started talking and her whole face became animated. She used her hands to emphasize certain words and he watched, mesmerized, at her eyes. They were alive and sparkling, the blue a shade darker this morning, probably because of the weather. Her hair was an organized mess but he liked it; it suited her face and personality; he couldn’t imagine her hair long.

Their breakfast and coffee arrived, and after helping themselves, they continued their chat. She gave him her honest feelings of the tour so far, and stated that she was really looking forward to the concerts still to come. He smiled, “I hope to God you still feel that way towards the end of the tour; 8 weeks is a long time Leila.” She nodded, “I realise that yes, but I’m positive that things will go well; you’ll see. I have a good feeling about this tour!” She watched him as she spoke, and saw disbelieve in his eyes. She bent forward and whispered conspicuously; “I wouldn’t have taken this job if it wasn’t the case believe me.” His eyes caught hers and he noticed the sincerity there; her eyes were asking him to trust him. He picked up his coffee cup and looked at her with a smile, “to happy tours Leila” and clinked his cup against hers. She grinned, “To happy tours Boss” and swallowed the last of her coffee.

She sat back for a few moments and looked at Rob unobserved while he poured them more coffee. She was seeing a different side of the man that she always dismissed as a brat. She got the impression that he was opening up to her for some reason; almost as if he trusted her, or he felt comfortable around her. She wasn’t sure how she felt about these developments; she didn’t want to complicate matters between the two of them or the rest of the crew. She was here to work, and nothing was going to stop her from doing that. She wanted to enjoy the last few years she had left of her dance career; she didn’t have the time or the energy to battle with unnecessary complications in her life, professional or personal.

She smiled at Rob when he handed her a cup of fresh coffee. His eyes were a lovely shade of hazel this morning; and for the first time since she met him, she noticed how bright his eyes were. If she wasn’t careful, she could easily drown in them … She shook herself from her reverie and mentally put up the wall to keep the distance between them. She couldn’t let Rob get to her. She couldn’t afford to become so lost in him, that she would loose everything else in the process.

CHAPTER 5

After the morning of breakfast in Rob’s hotel room, an uneasy truce was established between Rob and Leila. Although they had a good time chatting, there was an unseen line between them of boss and worker. No one said anything to enhance the feeling; it was just something that was between them. Rob was the first one to recognize the difference between them, and although he tried his best to draw Leila out, she kept her distance. In her eyes, he was the man in charge and the one paying her salary at the end of each month. She was aware of his efforts, and didn’t budge from the promise to herself. If circumstances were different, then maybe there was a chance that they could have something, even if it was a fling for the duration of the tour. She wasn’t prepared to take that chance; she wasn’t going to become another notch on his bedpost. She wasn’t going to put herself through the agony of a few wild trysts and then being discarded aside after he’s had his fun. She will not allow herself to become the next tabloid speculation, and bring shame to herself and her family. The easiest tactic was to use the only weapons she had at her disposal; her wits and her tongue. They’d served her well in the past and they will do so again.

Rob on the other hand, looked at the issue in a different manner. He really liked Leila; she was a woman that he wouldn’t mind getting to know better. She was different in many ways and she fascinated him with her wit and sarcasm, her easy-going manner with the rest of the crew. The morning when they shared breakfast, gave him a taste of what she was all about. He would like to know more about her; the few lines jotted down in her application meant absolutely nothing to him. He wanted her to tell him more about herself; he wanted to hear her husky voice, watch her eyes and hands as she spoke. He tried to speak to her, invite her out after concerts, but she never accepted. She made it clear that she wasn’t going to fall at his feet. In a way, her whole manner was refreshing; Rob can’t remember when last a woman made the effort to not fall into his bed at the snap of his fingers. Everywhere he went, willing women where throwing themselves at him; he could ask them anything and they would comply. It used to excite him in the not too distant past; it was like a drug that fed his ego and his feeling of worthiness. Lately though, he became aware of an empty space that became a little bigger as every day passed. He was searching for something, and he didn’t know what it was. He thought about this a lot; at night when he was trying to sleep, while he’s performing on stage and when he was in talks with his crew or management. It was an almost insistent awareness, urging him to do something, and do it soon.

Dublin and Edinburgh were a blast; the concerts were amazing and the fans lapped up everything Rob gave to them. He was king every night he got onto stage, and for a few moments, he felt like a god. He would look at the sea of ecstatic faces; some crying, others in awe, and acknowledged that they paid good money to come and see him, Robert Peter Williams, the boy from Stoke-On-Trent. He had every reason to be happy; his concerts were sold out, his fans loved him and his band and crew were working in absolute harmony to ensure that he looked and gave his best, or like Gary remarked one night before they were due to go on stage; “We’re poetry in motion.”

They arrived in Germany on a cold rainy morning; they were in the country for just over a week with 3 concerts scheduled. The crew was upbeat and in high spirits; the tour was going well and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Their first concert was scheduled for the next evening and they used the time to settle in, do a bit of sightseeing or catch up on some sleep. Gary, Max and Chris organized a get-together for some of the crew that didn’t have anything planned for that night, and Leila accepted their invitation, wanting just to relax for a few hours. She took some time to go for a walk with a few from the other dancers and they explored a bit of Hamburg. It was a beautiful old city and there were lots to do and many places of interest to see. It was late afternoon and after having something light to eat, that they returned to the hotel. After a hot shower and dressed in some of her favorite jeans and a sweater, did Leila make her way down to the hotel bar.

Most of the band members and some of the dancers were occupying the one corner, and when they spotted Leila, they called her over. She sat down and immediately they started talking about the tour and then moved on to telling funny anecdotes of previous tours. Leila found most of the people friendly and outgoing, but very serious about their art. They compared themselves with other great musicians in the industry, and were soon howling with laughter when Gary and Chris imitated some of the other artists. The drinks were consumed at an alarming rate, but none of them seemed to notice; they were relaxing and taking some time off from their schedules. Leila soon found herself in the middle of a heated discussion of legendary musicians. It was all good-natured, and she didn’t take the semi-insults seriously. Chris turned to her suddenly and with a naughty smile remarked; “How do you like our boss Leila? He seems to have taken a liking to you.” Suddenly all attention was focussed on her, and she felt a sudden nervousness in her stomach; this is not a question she expected tonight. She cleared her throat and after downing her shooter, she looked at Chris; “well … I can see why he’s successful and why you guys stick with him. He’s got charisma, he’s got style and above all, he’s the best entertainer I’ve seen around.” Gary shook his head and took a sip from his glass, “everything you said is true, but that still doesn’t answer the question Leila.”

She knew she was trapped, and frantically searched her mind for something to say. She was hesitant to say what she felt; never knowing if these remarks would reach Rob’s ears. Maybe it was the alcohol and the feeling of relaxation that flooded her body, because the words that came out of her mouth, was not what she intended. “So you wanna know what I think of Rob?” She looked around the table and saw the nods. She shrugged and continued; “Well, I think he’s an arrogant son of a b*tch. He thinks he can just snap his fingers and everyone had to drop with whatever they were busy with. I think he’s an idiot for bedding his fans; the man must know they’re gonna sell their stories and score a few pounds. And lastly, I think he should let the past go and stop blaming …” The words died on her lips as she noticed the changed expressions on the faces around her. A pregnant silence settled over the group of people and when Leila turned around, Rob was standing behind her; close enough to have heard what she said.

The blood left her face, and she wanted the earth to swallow her whole. Why did she say all those things about Rob? He probably didn’t deserve some of the stuff she said, but it was too late now to retract any of it. He stepped forward; “don’t let my presence stop you from voicing your opinions Leila. We’re all honest with one another … most of the time.” His voice was like an artic wind; the chill could be felt by all around the table. Leila felt like a child that was caught stealing cookies from a jar; she wanted to get up and run out of the bar. She shrugged her shoulders; “they wanted to know what I thought about you and I was just being honest.” Her voice sounded strong and sure, but she was a bunch of nerves. She expected him to fire her after her little intoxicated ranting, and suddenly she didn’t give a damn. If that’s what he wanted to do, he was free to do exactly as he damn well pleased.

Rob was still standing in his spot behind Leila and he was fuming. He hated it when he was discussed behind his back, and found it hard to believe what she said. He truly thought that she was different; the morning they had breakfast … it was pretend from her side. A quick rage suddenly took hold of him, an anger that made him blind. All he could think off was the humiliation of knowing that once again he was taken for a ride. The silence was broken by Chris trying to crack a joke, but failed miserably. The people around the table realised that tonight was something new to all of them; Rob has never caught anyone of them saying less than nice things about him. They all knew him long enough to know about his almost paranoia of what people think of him, and always kept their feelings and thoughts to themselves.

Leila stood up from her place and took her bag; “thanks guys for a nice evening. It’s just a pity that it had to end in such a manner; my apologies.” Rob couldn’t believe her flippant manner and wanted to grab her by her arm. He restrained himself however, and folded his arms across his chest. Leila turned around and looked at him for a few seconds, not saying anything, and made her way past him on the way out. The sooner she got out of here the better; she knew that she was going to feel horrible about all this in the morning.

The elevator door opened and she stepped inside, feeling tired suddenly. Just then a figure rushed inside as the doors closed. It was Rob and he looked so angry that Leila wanted to cringe in her corner of the elevator. “Just who the fuck gives you the right to speak about me like that? And with the crew on top of it? Jesus woman, what is wrong with you?” His voice was soft and controlled, and immediately Leila’s radar sensed the inner rage he was feeling. She wanted to say something, explain that she didn’t mean half the stuff she said, but was too scared of him. He looked at her, his green eyes pinning her down. The bell announced the arrival of the elevator of their floor, and Rob grabbed her around the wrist, “come on!” She stumbled after him, too shocked to say anything. The moment passed when she felt his painful grip on her arm and she tried to wrench herself away. His hand was like a steel clamp and she knew that it would be futile to even attempt to break free. “Let me go! You’re hurting me!” she hissed as he half-dragged her after him.

He ignored her completely, and expertly unlocked his hotel room door with one hand. He pulled her inside and kicked the door closed behind him, letting her go at the same time. She half-stumbled to gain her balance, and recklessly moved towards him; she wanted to punch him, hurt him as he’d hurt her. “You *******!” she said loudly and lifted her hands, moving towards him. Rob was too quick for her and caught her arms by the wrists, forcing them down. “What do you wanna do Leila? Hit me?” he asked mockingly, and watched her eyes flash with anger and frustration. “Get out of my bloody way” she said coldly and moved towards the door. He moved to block her and smiled triumphantly, holding the room keys for her to see. “The door has an automatic lock when it closed and can only be unlocked with these keys” and dangled them in front of her face. “What are you going to do to me? Keep me captive for the night? Or are you gonna give me never-do-that-again speech and let me go?” She was angry and lashed out at him, hoping to strike him with her words.

They had no effect because Rob was past the stage of listening to reason. He moved towards her so quickly that she never saw the move. He grabbed her arms and quickly turned her around and pushed her against the wall by the door. He was blocking her way with his body and there was nowhere she could go. She looked at him stupidly; everything happened so quickly that it was a blur in her mind. She opened her mouth to shout at him, but the words died on her lips as Rob let his head come down quickly, and captured her lips in a kiss that dominated. She was caught by surprise, and her immediate response was to fight him. He increased the pressure on her mouth, forcing her lips apart, his tongue plunging into her mouth. Her hands were beating against his chest, demanding to be freed, but he ignored her. He took her arms in his hands and held them above her head, removing the obstacle between them. Leila felt trapped and started panicking; she had to get away from him, he was taking advantage of her, and she couldn’t allow it. Rob relented a little and his lips softened, and immediately the kiss became passionate. Leila’s struggles became faint, her body responding to Rob’s expert seduction. When he was certain that she wouldn’t run away, he let go of her arms, wrapped his around her waist, and pulled her closer. She groaned and her arms found their way around his neck, her fingers touching him feverishly. Rob soared at her responses and moved his mouth away from hers, kissing her face and neck feverishly. Leila let her head fall back, allowing him more access and inhaled sharply as his tongue teased her neck. “Oh my God” she groaned, and moulded her body against Rob’s.

Rational thoughts and reason fell away as both Rob and Leila discovered the excitement of each other. Their hands were roaming each other’s body’s, urgently exploring and discovering pleasure points. Rob didn’t want to wait any longer, he had to have Leila now; he needed to feel her around him. He scooped her up in his arms and walked towards the bedroom. Leila wasn’t thinking anymore; she was feeling the most incredible emotions that she never knew she could ever experience. She wanted this man carrying her to his bedroom and she wanted to feel him inside of her, making passionate love to her.

When they reached the bedroom, Rob let her down and steadied her when she seemed a bit off balance. He kissed her again and Leila responded with a passion that almost frightened her. The kiss was urgent, demanding fulfillment and eager hands removed items of clothing in a hurry, letting it fall to the floor. When all the barriers between them were removed, Rob gently pushed her down on the bed. He covered her body with his, and marveled at how soft and warm her skin felt under his. He took her head between his hands and looked into her eyes. She looked back at him, her eyelids heavy from passion that was brought to the surface. “God Leila, what are you doing to me?” he asked hoarsely before his lips grazed hers. She felt his warm breath on her face and half opened her mouth, wanting him to kiss her again. He obliged and let his lips linger on hers, gently teasing her. He was driving her crazy with his caresses and she reached the point of wanting to be possessed by him. She groaned and gently lifted her hips, urging him on. He responded and with a swift movement, he was deep inside her. Instantly, intense heat was surrounding him, pulling him closer … deeper. He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply; he felt like he was falling deeper into an abyss he never wanted to leave.

Leila closed her eyes and sighed contently; she was exactly where she wanted to be. She felt her body’s response to Rob’s possession and marveled at how good it felt. She never imagined anything like this; emotions so strong, feelings that washed away any resistance in its path. She wanted release but she also didn’t want this moment to stop, she wanted it to last indefinitely.

Together they moved in perfect rhythm, at one with one another, in sync with their body’s needs. Much too soon the moment of release was upon them. Rob sensed Leila’s urgency by the slight trembling of her body. He wanted to stop for a while, prolong the moment for just a little while longer. Leila pulled his head down to hers, her mouth next to his ear; “don’t you think you’ve tortured me enough?” Her voice was so soft that he had to strain his ears, her breathing shallow and hot against his face. His resistance crumbled, and held her closer, and together they rushed forward, falling over the edge … falling into oblivion.

Rob’s name was on Leila’s lips as she spiraled out of control, taking him with her. She heard his voice in her ear as he repeated her name over and over in hoarse whispers of release.


PS: Are you guys still breathing normally?:p

Hi All,

I'm posting 3 chapters today - chapter 8 is rather important to the 6 & 7 and I just felt that if I post chapter 8 on Tuesday, it's going to loose a bit of "something" - hard to explain, but I hope you'll understand. Enjoy! :)



CHAPTER 6


Leila woke up during the night from a heavy weight across her legs. She mumbled and tried to move away, but found it virtually impossible. Slowly wakefulness invaded her sleepy mind, and she froze. With a suddenness that took her breath away, everything that happened the previous night came rushing back to her. Pictures of her and Rob imprinted themselves in Technicolor in her brain; the argument and angry words they exchanged, Rob kissing her and … their ending up in his bed, making love. She closed her eyes and wanted to banish the images, but they didn’t want to go away. She turned around slowly and saw the dark head lying on the pillow next to her. Rob’s face was relaxed in sleep and he looked vulnerable. The lines around his eyes and mouth have softened in slumber, and for a moment, Leila was tempted to touch his face. She pulled back her hand and slowly made her way to the side of the bed. She wanted to be out of the room before Rob woke up. Her face was flushed in embarrassment, and she felt shame washing over her. Whatever possessed her to allow this to happen? She never wanted to be one of his conquests; she never wanted to be another woman that warmed his bed for a few hours.

After a few minutes that felt like hours, Leila has managed to get out of bed without waking Rob. She quickly scanned the room for her clothes and once again felt the heat on her cheeks as she remembered their union. She grudgingly admitted that it was something she’d never experienced before; it was everything she always fantasized about. Rob was a master of seduction; she fell for him so easily. She should’ve been stronger, she could’ve forced her way out of his room … She knew from experience that regrets always came too late and were a complete waste of time. She vowed to keep the distance between them, even if it means never speaking to him again for the duration of the tour.

She dressed hastily, not bothering to put on her shoes. She took a last look around the room to see if she’d forgotten anything. Her eyes lingered on the sleeping figure in bed, unaware of what’s happening around him. Under different circumstances … Leila turned around and left the bedroom, picked up the keys that was lying on the floor from the previous night, and let herself out.

She quickly walked down the passage to her room, hoping that no one would still be awake at this time of the morning. She let out a sigh of relief when she reached her room and let herself in. She locked the door behind her and slowly fell onto her bed, her arm covering her eyes. What was she going to do now? The question kept popping up and Leila wasn’t sure what her answer would be. Of one thing she was sure; she wasn’t going to turn around and run away from the circumstances. She’s staying put. She wasn’t going to jeopardize the tour and damage her career or anyone else’s for that matter. She would just have to keep her professional and personal distance, and concentrate on finishing the tour.

A few hours later Rob stirred, slowly opening his eyes. He turned his head and saw the empty space next to him. He groaned and closed his eyes, not wanting to believe that Leila has left. He sat up suddenly and lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply. He looked at the messy bed and let his mind wonder to everything that happened a few hours ago; from the moment he heard what Leila said until he kissed her and made love to her. He closed his eyes and let the memories wash over him, leaving him drained. It was never his intention to let things go as far as it did … not yet anyway. He was just so furious at hearing the hurtful things she said; he wanted to punish her in the same manner. When she struggled with him, throwing hurtful words at him, he just lost it. The only way he could silence her, was to kiss her. Big mistake. The moment his lips touched hers, he knew that he shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t stop. And when Leila’s struggles eventually grew weak and she responded, it was a lost cause for him; there was no turning back. She was something he’d never encountered before; she was responded to him with an equal want and need, she wasn’t shy to show her emotions or deny herself anything that he so willingly gave to her. She was a woman that was an equal; she didn’t back down to go after what she wanted. He grudgingly admired her for her spunk, the fire that carried her to where she wanted to be. He’d bedded many women in his life; some of them were mistakes and he knew that, but the ego always dismissed any misgivings as a weakness. No one he’d ever bedded can compare to Leila. She was in a class of her own. She was strong, knew what she wanted and not afraid to go after her dream.

Another thought entered his mind just then. Would Leila, if she were stone cold sober, still have succumbed to his charms? Would she have surrendered to his touch under different circumstances? He sighed and knew that he was going to drive himself crazy with all the questions. He also knew that he chances were slim to ever find out; Leila would probably keep her distance from him and wouldn’t allow him near her. ‘You’re fucked mate’ he said to himself as he killed his cigarette and got up. ‘You just couldn’t resist showing her whose boss’ he mumbled under his breath, and made his way to the bathroom for a shower.

Leila managed to avoid Rob; whenever he was in the vicinity, she would quietly slip away. She wanted to take back what happened between them, press the rewind button and erase that night from her memory. The truth was that she could not, no matter how hard she tried. Survival mode kicked in, and she did the next best thing; she focussed solely on her dancing. Nothing else mattered now; not how she was feeling, and what she couldn’t change. She had to finish the tour and then she’d decide what to do next.




CHAPTER 7


The tour went from strength to strength. Rob was giving the performances that he’s famous for. He burst onto stage with all the cheekiness and charisma he’s famous for. He would tease and tantalize, make everyone in the audience feel special. The women would eat of his hands; forever pledge their undying love and admiration. In their eyes, he could do no wrong; he was king and no one was going to topple him from his throne anytime soon. Leila watched all this from a distance, becoming aware of Rob’s incredible influence over the common people. He was one of them, and that is what made him such an endearing performer. He was open and honest; he could take the piss out of himself and still have the respect he’d earned. She was seeing all this and still couldn’t find herself to talk to him.

Rob was under no illusion where Leila was concerned; he could read her body language a mile away. He noticed how she would try to blend into the background whenever they had a crew meeting. She was avoiding him and there wasn’t much he could do, unless he wanted to attract attention to them. He was in two minds what to do. He could either ignore her or treat her like everyone else; friendly but from a distance. But he didn’t want to do either; he would really like to get to know her better. At this stage though he just wasn’t sure how to approach the situation and decided that at some time, an opportunity would present itself. Satisfied with the conclusion, he pushed the issue from his mind and concentrated on the tour.

Leila noticed that Rob dropped all efforts to talk to her, to make any kind of contact. One part of her was relieved, and the other, more insistent part of her, was a little disappointed. Scolding, she told herself that she was being stupid and that things were much better off this way. She couldn’t afford getting involved with Rob because she knew what would happen; she would loose herself in him.

One afternoon about halfway through the tour, there was a knock on Leila’s hotel room door. They were in Rome with 2 concerts scheduled over the next 3 days and still they got a thrill from every performance. Leila was relaxing on her bed, reading a biography on one of her favorite performers on stage, Sir Lawrence Olivier. She didn’t expect anyone and lazily walked to the door. Rob was standing in the door when she opened. For a few moments, she could only stare at him, her heart beating slightly faster. “Are you gonna stare at me the whole afternoon or are you going to invite me in?” he asked with a slight frown. “Seeing that we don’t want to start any vicious rumors, I guess you better come in” she answered stiffly and opened the door wider for him to come in. She closed the door, and turned to him, “what do you want?” He looked at her with a slight smile, “still pissed off at me Leila?” he asked, and she heard the irony in his voice. She ignored the question, “look I’m busy. Say what you wanna say and just leave ok?”

He walked around the small hotel room and took his time answering her. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him what he wanted when he turned towards her, “how much longer are we going to play this game Leila?” She looked at him in surprise, “I have no idea what you’re talking about” she answered flippantly and sat down on a chair. He stood in front of her, his arms folded across his chest, “so what happened to us a few weeks ago was nothing in your mind?” He waited anxiously for her to answer, not knowing what to expect from her. She looked up at him, trying not to show how nervous she was, “what happened that night should never have happened in the first place. We were both … not ourselves” she concluded lamely, words stuck in her throat. He smirked, “no, let me refresh your memory. You were pissed and I was fucking angry. You said some nasty things and I reacted. That’s about right ain’t it Leila?” She blushed and looked down, not able to face him. “You’re not going to say anything? My my, that’s a first!” He was goading her; he wanted her to show a reaction, any reaction would be better than this silence from her. She let the snide comment pass; she was in no mood to have a verbal sparring with him. Rob however, wasn’t going to leave it there. He wanted to deal with the issue now and get it over and done with. “So you’re telling me that the night meant absolutely nothing to you. You didn’t feel anything; you were just going through the motions. For you it was just another …” Before he could continue, Leila jumped up from her chair and looked at Rob in anger. “What’s your bloody point?” His green eyes were cold as he looked at her, “my point Leila is this: if you can honestly tell me that our having sex that night means absolutely nothing to you, that you didn’t feel anything, I would turn around and walk out that door and never bother you ever again. I will never refer to it again and I’ll leave you alone.”

The words hung in the heavy silence that followed his words. Leila looked at Rob and wanted to hit him for reminding her of something that is best forgotten. She saw him biting down hard, waiting for her to say the words that would either send him walking out the door or that would … what? She couldn’t honestly think that maybe there could be more between her and Rob than employer and employee. She honestly believed that; she couldn’t see another way for them. She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes; “I didn’t feel anything that night, it was just an urge that we both fell for. I don’t even think about it anymore.” Her words sounded hollow, even to her own ears, and she feverishly hoped that he believed her.

Rob looked at her in stunned silence. He wasn’t sure what he expected but this was not what he imagined he’d hear. They were still staring at each other; neither willing to back down. Leila felt light-headed and mentally calmed herself down. She wanted Rob to turn around and leave before she lost her nerve and crumble. He stepped forward suddenly and roughly took her head between her hands, “you’re not a convincing liar Leila. The pulse in your neck is running away with you. But before I walk out that door, I’ve got a present for you …” Before she could think or react, he bent forward and kissed her hard on the lips. She was caught by surprise and instinctively, she wanted to hold him close. She put her hands on his chest to push him away, and suddenly Rob softened his lips against hers. He was coaxing her to surrender, to open up to him. Her hands against his chest slowly made their way to encircle his neck. She swayed lightly and opened her lips a fraction to allow him access. Just as suddenly, he broke away and ended the kiss.

Her eyes looked at him in surprise, her eyes asking questions. His eyes were hard, and his voice measured and dangerously soft, “you remember this kiss Leila and that night when you practically begged me to take you. When you lie awake at night, you can’t sleep, and the images torture you, I want you to remember that you were the one that made the choice. You were the one that wanted it this way.”




CHAPTER 8


The echo of the slamming door reverberated in Leila’s mind long after Rob had left. When he walked away, she shakily sank onto her bed, her mind in turmoil. His words were repeating themselves in her mind, and again she heard his voice; it sounded so cold … so final. Confusion reigned as she came to terms of her actions, her words said in spite. She felt drained; all her fighting spirit and energy gone. On the spur of the moment, she decided to go for a walk to clear her head. Luckily, their concert was scheduled for the following night; she had 24 hours to deal with her confused emotions before getting on stage. She was determined to give the performance of her life the following night.

Rob was cranky. When he left Leila’s room, he was deluding himself thinking that she might call him back and tell him she made a mistake. But she didn’t call him back. She kept quiet and let him walk away. His mind was in a mess; he was really hoping that he and Leila … Stop it! He chided himself. It was no use going down the what-if lane, a waste of time and energy. And with his luck, he would find a different answer every time he asked the question why.
Rob did the only thing he could think off to numb the pain; he dated as many women he could while they were touring.

The newspapers were rife with speculation that this time around, was Rob earnestly seeking Mrs. Robbie Williams? Every other day there would be a picture of him and an unknown female in the papers; either coming out of restaurants or clubs. There were also the few money grabbers that sold their stories to the tabloids. The mood within the crew was one of speculation whether Rob had finally gone over the edge. Whenever Leila came into close vicinity, some of the people would stop talking. She felt the atmosphere drop whenever she came into a room. This is exactly what she wanted not to happen, division between the crew. She held her head high, making an effort to hide away the hurt this caused her. She was made of stronger stuff and ignored the looks and whispered conversations. She kept to herself and discouraged any conversations that might be a stab at getting some information. Alone at nighttime, Leila would lie in her bed and think about everything that’s happened. There were times that she wanted to slip away in the night, pack her bags and just disappear. The survival instinct would kick in and she would back down from her initial thoughts. She could never let anyone down, no matter what the circumstances. She’d never run away from difficulties, and she wasn’t about to start now.

Rob blocked the thoughts with keeping himself occupied with all kinds of things. For the first time in years, he attended all rehearsals and became more involved with the day-to-day happenings of the crew. He watched Leila from a distance; saw how she became more and more withdrawn from the rest. He wanted to reach out and help her but stopped himself from rushing to her side. She made her decision and he wasn’t going to be the first one to seek some kind of truce. The women in his life was a temporary anesthetist, he didn’t want to feel anything now. They were all eager to please him in every way, he just had to ask and they would fall over their feet obliging him. In the beginning, it was a huge ego boost, but it was becoming boring now. These women all seemed to have one thing in common; they were all out to get something from him. Sometimes it didn’t matter to him; if it helped to forget about Leila, then it was worthwhile. Rob’s emotions were on a rollercoaster ride and most days he wasn’t sure what he was feeling. If only he’d never met Leila …

The tour was nearing it’s completion in another few days and the vibe between the crew was one of excitement. Leila felt the shift of energies within the group and said a silent prayer of thanks. Soon, the tour would be over and she could leave. There was talk that there might be another mini tour in a few months but Leila didn’t know if her contract would be renewed. In all honesty, she would prefer to leave and do something else for a change. She was playing with the idea to retire from dancing completely and take a long holiday, and then start her dance school. Nothing has been cast in stone, and for the moment it was just an idea; she hadn’t made any specific plans.

The last night of the tour arrived with an almost anti-climax to the people that have been on the road constantly for almost 8 weeks. Their final concert was in Manchester and everyone was elated to be on home soil again. An hour before the concert was due to start; Rob called his crew together for a quick meeting. He looked tired and smiled when someone asked him if he was all right. “I’m ace mate, just glad the tour’s finished when we walk off the stage tonight.” There were agreed murmurs from the group, as they stood closer to where Rob was standing. “People, I just wanna say thank you for the ride. You all know how much I hate touring, but this one wasn’t half bad.” Some laughter from the band members before he continued; “You were all fucking brilliant and I’m blessed to know all of you. Let’s go out there and show them why we are the best in the business!” Loud cheers and clapping were heard in the small room and as they started walking out the door, they were talking in excited voices.

Leila wanted to stay behind and say something to Rob, but her courage left her when she saw him in deep conversation with Josie. She was about to turn around when she looked up and caught Rob’s eyes on her. She had the impression that he wanted to tell her something with his eyes, but she wasn’t sure. She tried to smile before rushing out the door back to the dressing rooms.

From the moment they set foot on stage, there was an electricity in the air; a feeling of excitement because their last concert was before their home crowd. Rob was in top form, blowing the audience away with his enthusiasm and charm. He was chatty and witty, and belted out one hit after the other. He flirted with a few women in the front, but didn’t pull any of them on stage as he usually does. The last note died away from their last song, and the audience erupted with loud chanting and screaming. They didn’t want Rob to leave the stage; they wanted him to sing the whole night. He walked towards the band and had a quick chat with them while the chanting continued in the background. He walked towards Leila and the rest of the dancers and explained to them that he was about to do one last song and that they should use their initiative with the dance moves.

He walked back to the mic stand and held his hands up. “Manchester, I decided to sing you one last song as this is our final concert of this tour.” Loud applause and shouts were heard and Rob smiled at them, lapping up the adoration. When the noise have died down he continued, “I would like to do a song for you from a band that is hugely popular in the US. I only discovered them a few months back and I can honestly say that they’re ace!” Everyone that Rob liked was fine by his friends, and they showed him their approval. “The song I’m doing is called ‘Angel’ – not to be confused with my song ‘Angels.’ The band I’m referring to is the Dave Matthews Band, and if you will allow me, I would like to sing the song for you.” The music started playing in the background; a guitar and sax in perfect harmony with one another. “Manchester, I would like to dedicate this song to someone and I hope that I can somehow make amends for something I did wrong.” There was expectancy from the audience and they were listening attentively. “You know when you fuck up and you don’t know what to do to make things right again? Well, I hope this song will somehow convey what I’m feeling. Are you ready? It goes something like this …”

Leila’s ears heard the words and didn’t understand what Rob was trying to say. As she understood it, he was begging forgiveness of some kind. She heard the music and started swaying to the rhythm, her mind a million miles away. His voice was raw with emotion as he started singing;



“I call you up, you pick up
You call my bluff, on the card to love
You hold too close your hands to your chest
I can read in your eyes, but I confess
It’s lonely far from you.
Even when you’re right by me
It’s only why I wait for you
To take my hand.

Why do I beg like a child for your candy?
Why do I come after you like I do, I love you
Wherever you are
I swear, you be my angel
You.

I play my cards the best I can
But I lose my luck when you’re not here
My darling heart, won’t you please give in?
I may be strong
But I want you back again.

When you’re not here, it’s hard to pretend
It’s all right again
When you’re not here love, it’s hard to pretend
It’s all right but still …

Why do I beg like a child for your candy?
Why do I come after you like I do, I love you
Wherever you are
I swear, you be my angel
You.
Watch the deck, count your cards
Make no sense
That I’m always loosing when you’re gone.

Why do I beg like a child for your candy?
Why do I come after you like I do, I love you
Wherever you are
I swear, you be my angel, you
When I’m gone.”


Leila heard the emotion in Rob’s voice as he sang, and she had shivers down her spine. His voice was begging and pleading; he was confessing and asking for forgiveness. Her eyes were full of tears by the time the song ended. It was a song that touched her; a song that spoke to her quite clearly, and for the first time since she made the choice to let Rob walk away, she was feeling a terrible loss. It was a feeling so intense that it took her breath away and threatened to choke her; she finally understood what could’ve been. Whoever the woman was that made Rob feel this way, was indeed the luckiest person in the world.


PS: If you'd like to hear the original recording of the song, please PM nicetolookat - she will send you a download link. Just be patient as she lives on the other side of the Atlantic. :)

Hello Everyone,

I'm posting 3 chapters today because from Friday, the story changes direction and I wanted to "end" the first part with chapter 11. Enjoy the read! :)

CHAPTER 9

After the concert, there was an after party for the crew to say thank you for all their hard work and dedication. While the roadies packed up all the gear, the rest of the crew left for an undisclosed venue to keep it free from fans and paparazzi. Leila opted out of the party; she was tired and wanted to get back to her hotel room to pack. She wasn’t going back to London with the rest of the crew; she’s flying out to visit her paternal grandmother in Scotland. She hadn’t seen her in months and longed for her wise Nan’s company. She called her the day before and her Nan was glad as always, to hear from her favorite grandchild.

Much later, lying snuggled up in her bed Leila’s mind went back to the song that Rob sang that night. He’s haunting voice filled her head, and again some of the words made her ache with longing. Since the day she banished him from her life, she’d secretly regretted her decision. She agonized for days over all the words that were exchanged that afternoon, but knew that what she did was probably the best decision for both of them. Uninvited, Rob got under her skin and he wasn’t going to leave any time soon. He taunted her, tortured her in the early morning hours when she couldn’t sleep. His face would appear out of nowhere when she was busy with something, and his eyes would quietly observe her. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out his image. She could feel tears escaping her closed eyelids, slowly rolling down her cheek. She wiped them away, and sighed into the night, hoping to get some sleep. The last thought in her mind before troubled sleep overcame her, was of the lucky woman that Rob met and that he felt so much for.

Rob was in his room, sitting up in bed and smoking. He joined the after party for a few minutes and then left. Leila wasn’t there. He overheard one of the other dancers tell someone that she declined to join the crew and went back to her hotel room. As much as he wanted to stay and mingle with the people he worked with, he left early, using the excuse that he was tired and needed the rest. His bags were packed and ready to leave the next morning; he was going to Stoke for a few days to visit his family. He thought about the concert and shook his head slowly. He didn’t what possessed him to sing the Dave Matthews song. Maybe he was hoping that somehow, Leila would realize the song was for her. The song was one of his favorites, and expressed exactly what he was feeling. When he finished the song and the band took a final bow before the ecstatic audience, he looked at Leila but couldn’t read her face. She looked tired and withdrawn and her eyes shimmered brightly in the spotlights overhead. He almost made himself believe that there were tears in her eyes, but discarded this notion as wishful thinking.

He sighed deeply and made himself comfortable lying down. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he had an early start the next day. Leila’s face was before his eyes and he wanted to reach out and touch her. He longed for her, wanted to hold her close and tell her that everything was going to be all right. Tomorrow, he decided. Tomorrow he was going to talk to her, come hell or high water. He had to give it one last shot or else the ghost of Leila was never going to leave him alone.

Leila left very early the next morning, and left behind memories of wonderful people she worked with. It was an experience of a lifetime to work with people that were so committed, and Leila was grateful for the opportunity she had. She let her eyes linger for a while in the room where so much happened … things that might’ve been so differently now. She was saying goodbye to a part of her life that may have changed the direction of her life forever. She wiped away lone tears and closed the door behind her, walking away from something she never knew.

Leila was more than halfway on her way to Scotland when Rob finally woke up. He jumped out of bed and had a quick shower while he mentally prepared himself what he would say to Leila. By the time he was finished in the bathroom, his coffee arrived that he ordered earlier. He put on jeans and a black sweater, while taking sips of his coffee. He swore a couple of times because his hands were shaking and he had trouble knotting the laces of his sneakers. When he was ready, he breathed deeply and tried to relax. After a few minutes, and assuring himself that he was calm enough, did he leave the safety of his room. He walked down the passage to Leila’s room and didn’t give a damn if anybody saw him.

He stopped in front of her door, took a deep breath and knocked softly on her door. There was no response. Again, he knocked, “Leila? Are you there? It’s Rob, please open the door.” He waited patiently, going over his little speech again. He was about to knock again, when he heard a female voice asked; “I’m sorry sir, are you looking for the young lady that stayed here?” Rob turned around and saw an elderly woman look at him questioningly. He nodded, “yes I am. Do you know where she is? Is she still sleeping?” The older woman shook her head slowly, “I’m sorry sir, but the young lady isn’t here anymore.” Rob felt his heart thud in his chest, his breathing a little labored. “What do you mean she’s …” The woman interrupted him quickly, “she left early this morning sir.”

The woman’s words were coming from afar; they sounded hollow and empty. “Are you alright sir? You’re awfully pale. Can I get you anything?” Rob shook his head slowly, and swallowed. “I’m … I’m fine thank you” and turned around. He didn’t know how he got back to his room, but when he became aware of his surroundings, he was standing in front of the window in his room, watching the rain fall down in torrents. Leila was gone. Leila has left before he had a chance to talk to her.

His body felt like lead as he moved closer to the window, his hands tightly gripping onto the ledge. His body was rocking to and fro; he was oblivious of his actions, his eyes staring into nothingness. He heard a strangled noise and realized that it was coming from him. It was a sound of desolation and hopelessness, of realizing that life has just given him a backhand so vicious that it could easily destroy him. He looked down at his hands, his knuckles white against his skin, and he felt the first tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. "Jesus …" he whispered brokenly, "what the fuck am I gonna to do now?"

CHAPTER 10

The weather pretty much reflected Leila’s mood when she landed in Edinburgh. From there she had to catch a train to Kirkcaldy, a little seaside town where her Nan lived. When she arrived at the house just after mid-day, she stopped for a few minutes to take in the picture before her of the house. The house was built from stone, and hundreds of years old. It’s been in the family for a few generations and Leila always loved the place, since her childhood. The house was spacious, with at least 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. There was a garden in the front of the house that was her Nan’s pride and joy. Colorful flowers of different varieties were all around the garden and in the corner was a huge tree thousands of years old. In summer, it was a refuge from the summer sun and an ideal place to entertain guests.

Leila picked up her bags and slowly walked up the stone passage leading to the front door. Before she was halfway, the front door opened and an elderly woman with strong facial features stepped outside. When she noticed Leila, she quickly made her way down the few stairs and held her granddaughter close. “Aye lass, it’s so good to see you, it’s been too long.” Leila’s eyes were full of tears at her Nan’s words. She hadn’t been back here to visit in months, and felt a little guilty. “Hello Nan, you’re looking well as always.” The older woman smiled, and held Leila at arm’s length, “I wish I could say the same about you lass. You’re too thin.” There was a frown on her face and Leila couldn’t help a smile. “I’ve been on tour for almost 8 weeks Nan; it was a lot of hard work.” The woman smiled and took one of Leila’s bags and motioned for her to walk to the door. “Let’s get out of the cold lass. There’s a fire burning in the kitchen and I’ve got some tea ready.”

With a warm tartan blanket over her legs and holding a mug of hot sweet tea, did Leila feel human again. She was watching the flickering flames in the herd, and was comforted by their warmth. During the whole trip from Manchester to Edinburgh, she experienced a numbness that invaded her body. She didn’t feel any sensation for longer than a few seconds. She shut her mind off its treacherous wanderings from Rob and failed miserably at times. She allowed herself the luxury of tears on her trip from England, and the further she traveled from Rob’s home, the more lonely and desolate she felt. A part of her was left behind somewhere in a hotel in the city of Manchester …

Eileen looked at her granddaughter and noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the faraway look on her face. She instinctively knew that a man was responsible for the way Leila looked, and she was dying to ask her some questions. However, from previous experience, she knew that Leila didn’t talk easily about her feelings and what’s going on in her heart. In that respect, the younger woman was the same as herself, they held the secrets of their hearts close. Given enough time and space, she knew that Leila would talk when she was ready. In the meantime, she was going to make sure that her granddaughter had plenty of rest, good food and some good company.

Later that night, tugged in snugly by her Nan, did Leila relax for the first time since leaving England. She felt so heavily burdened by everything that happened, and knew that running away was most likely not the wisest choice she could’ve made. For the moment, she just wanted to get away from everything that reminded her of Rob, and even if it takes her weeks, but she would return, once she was stronger emotionally. With this decision made, did she close her eyes and fell asleep almost instantly, dreaming of a certain dark haired man with green eyes that made her feel like his equal …

In a luxury apartment in Nottinghill, Rob was sitting in a chair staring at nothing in particular. It’s been more than a week since Leila left, and since that time nothing compared to the emptiness that haunted him. He wanted to be left alone to waddle in his misery; he didn’t need friends or family around him now – he would probably just be nasty and cause some friction. He cancelled his visit to Stoke for a few days; he couldn’t handle his Mom’s sympathy right now. She was the best mother her could ever hope for, but for now, he wanted to be by himself, work through this issue the best he could.

He sighed and got up from his seat and walked to the kitchen to fetch some coffee. He took a sip and pulled his face; it was lukewarm but it was too much trouble to make a fresh pot of coffee. He took his mug and walked to his bedroom. The silence of the apartment was deafening, and irritated, he switched on the stereo. He sat down on the edge of his bed and swallowed some coffee. His mind was a million miles away; it was with Leila. He wondered where she was and what she was doing. He tried to find out more about her, but no one seemed to know where she disappeared to. There was no contact numbers on her application; he asked Josie to check. The only number she had, was Leila’s mobile number, and Rob had tried calling more times he could count on his 2 hands. He had no luck; her phone was switched off or she was an area where the reception wasn’t good. He was starting to panic because he didn’t know what to do next; he didn’t know where to start looking for her, and he didn’t know if he’d ever find her again. The future looked bleak for him, but he was determined to find her, no matter what it takes. Just then, he became aware of the song playing on the radio, and his ears picked up the words: ‘Where are we now? I’ve got to let you know, A house still doesn’t make a home, Don’t leave me here alone … And it’s you when I look in the mirror, And it’s you that makes it hard to let go, Sometimes you can’t make it on your own.’

For the first time in the last few days, there was a ghost of a smile on Rob’s face, and he slowly shook his head. “Bono you b*stard, those were my exact same thoughts on this matter. How did you know?”


CHAPTER 11

The more time passed, the more human Leila felt. She spent the days with her Nan; walking around the little town when the weather allowed, and exploring the many wonders the place had to offer. Their favorite place was a little restaurant they discovered on their many explorations, and most days they would have something hot to drink and something sweet to eat. “You need some sugar in that thin body of yours Leila,” her Nan would say, and she wasn’t about to argue with the stern woman. She helped around the house and discovered that she enjoyed helping in the garden; she loved the feeling of soil beneath her fingers, and seeing something grow. The days were lazy and melted into each other; offering Leila the peace and solace, her heart and soul longed for.

One afternoon Leila and Eileen were in the kitchen, busy preparing one Leila’s favorite meals. The small radio was perched on the windowsill and they were not really listening. She told her Nan about the tour she just completed and everything she experienced. Of course, she omitted telling her about Rob; it was something she wanted to keep private for a while longer. Eileen listened to her talk, and noticed the nostalgic tone of her voice. She got the impression that Leila’s words were veiled from something important that happened, but she wasn’t willing to talk about yet. Leila felt comfortable talking to her Nan; they’ve always had a very easy rapport with one another, and she had confided many of her secrets to her beloved grandmother. She smiled softly as she recalled some of the times they would sit together; their smiles of conspiracy of knowing a secret no one else shared.

They were laughing at something Leila said, and for a few moments, there was so much love and comfort surrounding them. A song was playing on the radio, and the melody sounded familiar to Leila. Suddenly Eileen looked up with a smile, “oh my, that’s one of my favorite songs playing, listen” and she turned up the volume a little. Immediately Leila recognized the words, and it seemed as if her heart stopped for a few seconds. ‘If you should die before I leave, what on earth becomes of me? Look around, there’s no one here, to love me, and hold me. Maybe I’ve been away too long, I know I’m not always right but is that wrong? They say there’s nothing I can do, but talk to strangers and wait for you.’ It felt as though a big hand reached out and squeezed her heart. She could feel how the emotions that she so cleverly kept a tight lid on, break through the barriers, and overwhelm her.

“I love this song!” Eileen said, as she stirred the thick broth in the stove. “I believe he wrote this for a family member that died of cancer or something. What a gif he has to verbalize his feelings, to put in words that some people struggle to feel properly. I love him to bits you know … all the struggles he had to go through to be where he is today …”

She became aware of the silence from Leila’s side and turned to look at her. Leila was standing in front of the sink, busy washing dishes … or that is what she’s suppose to be doing. Her hands were in the water and she was staring out the window, and she wasn’t aware of her Nan’s words. “Leila? Can you hear me?” Eileen’s voice asked concerned, and she made her way to the younger woman’s side. She was pale and her breathing rapid, and for a few moments, Eileen feared that something happened to her. Leila jumped slightly when her Nan put her arms around his shoulders and tried to smile. “I’m sorry Nan, my mind was far away” she said a little shakily, and looked at her. “Did you hear what I said about that song?” the elderly woman asked again, and watched Leila carefully. She nodded, “yes, it is a beautiful song Nan. And he’s a nice guy too” she answered and continued with the dishes.

Eileen’s surprise showed on her face at hearing Leila’s words. She sat down and looked at Leila, “how do you know him?” she asked hesitantly, not wanting to interfere. Leila’s shoulders sagged a little as she answered, “It was with his crew that I toured Nan.” Her voice strained as she forced some lightness in her tone. Eileen wasn’t convinced, and knew that somewhere something happened between these two people; a blind person would be able to feel the shift in atmosphere. She waited patiently, because she knew Leila was almost ready to talk. She was aware of her granddaughter’s restlessness that she tried so hard to conceal. She saw it in her eyes that would look forlorn from time to time and could hear her sometimes in the still of the night moving around in her room. The song that played on the radio just now was a dead giveaway, and the mention of Rob’s name caused a bit of a stir within Leila.

A few minutes went past; silence in the warm kitchen as both women tried to gather their thoughts. Letting the water out, Leila dried her hands, and made them some tea. When it was ready, she put the tray on the table and sighed. She rested her hands under her chin, and she looked at Eileen. “I know you’re dying to know what’s going on Nan, so … if you have the time and a patient ear, I will tell you.” Eileen could see how nervous Leila was, and gently touched her arm, letting her know that she was listening. Leila took her Nan’s hands in her own and managed a smile, “well Nan, it goes a little something like this …”

Leila poured her heart out; she kept nothing back. She shared with Eileen their first meeting, and had and had to smile a little when she remembered their verbal sparring. She told her about their casual meetings, and how it was working with him, and the experiences of performing before thousands of fans night after night. Eileen became part of the world of hard work, tremendous effort and camaraderie between people living & working together as family. She wanted to omit the part of her and Rob’s lovemaking, but decided to play open cards; not shying away from the fact that she said some things in unfairness and haste.

Eileen listened as the words poured from Leila’s lips, and felt an urge to get up and give her a big hug. She restrained herself however, knowing that Leila had to unburden herself before things can make sense and have some perspective. Leila’s voice spoke of the respect and admiration she had for the crew and when she mentioned Rob’s name, her voice caught for a moment. She closed her eyes and swallowed, forcing herself to continue. She felt the need to purge herself, and that is exactly what she was doing; her Nan was a patient listener, and also her friend.

When Leila was finally finished, there were a few moments of silence. Eileen got up to make them some fresh tea, giving the younger woman a chance to compose herself. When she was seated again, she looked at Leila; “so what are the chances of you and Rob working things out? I mean, that’s what you want right?” Leila looked at her Nan’s concerned face and smiled a little, “I don’t think it’s a good idea Nan. I think the both of us have very separate lives and can’t reconcile them. Its just one of those unfortunate things I guess. Maybe if we were different people, doing something else …” Eileen looked at her, “so what’s wrong with being a pop star and a dancer?” Leila shook her head, “we’re equally stubborn and both live in a world where your sell-by date can be so short. And besides … that song he sang on the last concert … he must’ve met someone that really means a lot to him. No Nan, I have to make peace with the fact that I screwed up, said some things I shouldn’t have. I’ve got to move on … I won’t do myself any favors by sitting in a little corner and feel sorry for myself. Besides, maybe now is a good time for me to start the dancing school I always wanted to.”

Eileen listened to Leila as she spoke; heard the determination in her voice, but also the regret that she tried so hard to hide away. Her heart went out to the younger woman and she wished she could do or say something that would make her feel better. She realized that there comes a time in everyone’s life where you had to keep moving forward, and believe that the choices you made in the past, will not haunt you for the rest of your days.



I could only get this pic of Kirkcaldy Scotland:

http://www.purerobbie.com/photoplog/images/371/medium/1_kirkcaldy_K197714.jpg

Ok ... here are chapters 12, 13 & 14. This is where the story changes direction for a bit ... I hope you enjoy. :)



CHAPTER 12

3 Years Later:

Leila was walking through her dance class, offering advice and encouragement, helping a dancer perfecting her movement. She smiled her satisfaction when the music ended, and walked back to the front. 10 tired but eager faces looked back at her, admiration evident in their manner. “That was excellent! Can you understand now why it’s so important to really feel the music? You have to become one with the rhythm, move with it and allow it to take you away from here. You’ve got to forget about everything else, blank out and allow yourself to just be.” They looked back at her, nodding at her words. They respected her input because she used to do this for a living once, and she was giving them the opportunity to live their dreams. It was hard work but they were all prepared to go the extra mile, make her and themselves proud.

Leila’s dancing classes was a long-term investment in their future, and the grading was tough. Not everyone that applied to be accepted to her dance school was lucky. She was a strict and tough principal and only accepted those pupils where she saw the burning desire and real talent. Her classes were limited because she believed in personal attention at all times. She wanted to bring our their talent and polish it to its highest sheen and then set them free to show the world what they were capable off. “I’ll see you back in class tomorrow afternoon. Practice your routines and remember; feel the music! I can’t stress that enough people, but I know what I’m talking about. And just to give you something to get excited about; in about 6 weeks from now, we’ll have a dance competition here in the studio. I’ll give you the details by the end of the week. Start thinking about ideas; I want you to give me some original thoughts.” The class moved to the dressing rooms to change, and Leila smiled when she heard their excited voices discussing the upcoming competition.

She took her kitbag and made sure that everything was locked up before she switched off the lights. She stayed within walking distance from her studio and hurried her steps to get there before the rain came down. There was a chill in the air and she noticed that leaves were busy changing color, announcing the arrival of autumn. She reflected how quickly time rushed by; it was almost 3 years that she last saw Rob in Manchester … She shook herself mentally and wished that she could avoid thinking of him, but he was always there at the most unexpected times. She would be busy dancing, or having a bath, having dinner with some friends when his face would pop up. She thought that as times passed, it would become easier for her to forget. But she was wrong. It seemed to become more intense as the weeks and months went by. To complicate matters just a little more, she would hear his songs on the radio frequently, or read something about him in the papers. Her heart would always beat a little faster and she would feel how lame her body grew by the mere mention of his name. She always thought that by turning her back and walking away from him, she could find peace of mind. How wrong she was. There were so many times, lying alone in bed at night, that she wished she could turn back the hands of time.

She was so deep in thought that she almost walked past the small house on the corner of the street where her apartment was in. She ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. Moments later, the door was opened by a friendly woman with red hair. “Hello Beth, sorry if I’m a few minutes late. Class took a little longer than I thought.” The other woman smiled, “no need to worry Leila, I know that these things have a life of its own.” Leila smiled gratefully and followed Beth to the living room. The house emanated warmth and happiness and could mostly be contributed to the woman living there. She was probably the kindest, sweetest and most patient woman Leila ever met. She was in her early 40’s and happily married to Charlie, her childhood sweetheart. Leila has met him on a few occasions and genuinely liked him; he seemed to be a real gentleman; an extinct species amongst the human race.
Leila smiled broadly when she saw the excited face looking back at her. She went down on her hunches and held out her arms. The little boy got up unsteadily and slowly made his way to the woman a few feet away. His steps were still a little unsteady, but from the determined look on his face, Leila knew that he would walk to her without falling down. When he reached her, he put his chubby little arms around her neck and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. She held him close and breathed in his little-boy smell, her heart swelling with pride and love. “How are you my angel?” she asked him and watched his face closely. “Fine Mommy” he answered and smiled at her. She took his little hand in hers and picked up his bag. “Thank you Beth. I’ll see you in the morning.” The other woman smiled and walked them to the door, and waved goodbye as Leila and the little boy left.

They arrived at her apartment on the ground floor a few minutes later. The walk took a little longer than usual as the little boy told her about his day at his daycare mother. For a little boy just over 2 years old, his speech was clear and his vocabulary quite advanced; Beth was a former kindergarten teacher. When they were inside the apartment, Leila switched on the kettle before opening the fridge to take out some groceries to cook them dinner. She helped the little boy into his chair and placed his drink before him while she busied herself fixing some spaghetti and meatballs – the boy’s favorite. She chatted to him and he told her about helping Beth bake some cookies. She smiled when she listened to him speak and watched his facial expressions as he got serious, telling her that Beth said that he was the best helper in the world. Suddenly she kissed the top of his dark head, and ruffled his hair. The little boy turned to look at his Mom and saw her smile at him, her face lighting up. “I love you lots my boy. Don’t ever forget that” she said and felt the tears threatening to overcome her. He smiled, “love you too Mommy.” He turned around again and gave his full attention to the picture book on the table.

While dinner simmered on the stove, she picked him up for his bath. Leila treasured these times spent with her son. She spent every free moment with him because she didn’t want to miss anything of his growth. Owning a dance studio was one way she could work flexi-hours and spend time with her son, getting to know him as he grow up. She was very fortunate to have met Beth to look after him when she started the dance school. At first she felt tremendous guilt to leave him behind, but when she saw how well he adapted, she felt better. Beth was a woman that genuinely cared and it showed in the manner in which she treated children. Not having kids of her own, has only served to make her more determined to help kids as much as she could.

Dressed in his Winnie the Pooh pajamas, Gabriel walked with Leila back to the kitchen. She dished up and together they ate their dinner while she asked him questions on what he’d learnt that day. Leila was amazed at how quickly he learnt anything, and Beth told her on more than one occasion that he was a very intelligent little boy. He was at the age where most young children wanted to show their independence, and Gabriel was no different. He chose his own clothes in the morning and was adamant what he wanted to wear. Breakfast and dinner used to be a battlefield for Leila until Beth told her to let him be, and the difference was amazing. The little boy fed himself and made a mess now and again, but in general the kitchen didn’t look like a battle zone.

She tugged him into bed and let him choose a book for her to read from. She remembered how she used to miss this nighttime ritual when she grew up; her parents were hardly at home by the time she had to go to bed. She made a vow that one day when she had kids, she would always be at home at night to tug them into bed and read them a story. Gabriel looked at her with big eyes as Leila started reading him a story of the characters of the thousand acre woods. Before she was halfway through the story, he was fast asleep. She closed the book and put it back in the bookcase. She stood before his bed for a few minutes as she does every night; and just looked at him. “Sweet dreams for you tonight my angel” she whispered softly. She kissed him goodnight and switched off the bedside light, leaving him behind in a land of make-believe where absolutely everything is possible.

After a long hot shower to wash away the day’s stresses, did Leila make herself comfortable in her favorite chair and tugged her knees beneath her. She opened the book she was busy reading, and checked her place. Her mind was not on the story on the pages in front of her; since she got home that night, her mind were venturing in territory she didn’t want to go. Rob was very much on the foreground, and she could still so easily recall his face at any given time. His eyes were always the part of him that fascinated her the most. In them, she could detect so many emotions in the span of half an hour; annoyance, laughter, loneliness, regret and sometimes real warmth. She recalled the night they spent together and remembered the few times she gently touched and stroked the lines around his mouth … She closed her eyes and drew a shaky breath, still affected by what happened so long ago. When she sometimes thought back at the decision she made, she had to wonder how different her life would’ve been now if she chose to stay. She would indulge in a little fantasy, imagining how she and Rob could’ve lived together, completely at ease and very happy. It’s then that she felt a huge emptiness inside of her; the knowing that she may have pushed away the only chance of real happiness she ever had.


CHAPTER 13

It has been almost 3 years now that Rob had been searching for Leila. After that morning when he discovered her gone in Manchester, hardly a day went by that he didn’t think about her. His initial reaction was betrayal and disappointment, but as time went by, it became an obsession to find her. He tried every avenue except hiring a private detective to try finding her. Josie was in charge of this little operation and Rob has sworn her to absolute secrecy; the last thing he needed was to read about his “desperate search” for Leila. The papers wouldn’t be wrong either; he was desperate to find her again. As the weeks turned into months and then years, he sometimes lost hope that he would ever see her again. He didn’t have real leads to locate her; her application gave him precious little information. He got excited a couple of months ago when Josie gave him a contact number for her parents in the US. When he dialed the number later that morning, he was crestfallen when a recorded voice informed him that the number had changed. He was at his wits end; he didn’t know where to turn to next. It was a few days later that Max made a comment that made Rob sit up and take notice. Max told him that he overheard some of the girls talking about Leila, and one of them mentioned a grandmother by the name of Eileen living in Kirkcaldy, Scotland. Leila used to mention her sometimes, and always said how much she loved her Nan, and how close they were.

Rob immediately called Josie and instructed her to find a woman called Eileen living in Kirkcaldy. Josie sighed, “Rob, do you have any idea how many Eileen’s there are in Scotland?” He heard the impatience in her voice and wanted to make a snooty remark but stopped himself. “Josie please, just do as I ask you ok? How many grandma’s called Eileen will have a granddaughter called Leila McFarlane?” Josie knew better than to argue with Rob; once he had an idea, he was like a dog with a bone.

He was on a ferry on his way to Kirkcaldy, and didn’t even feel the cold. The rain was stinging his face but he was in another world. Now that he was so close in finding Leila, he was nervous. What if her Nan didn’t want to talk to him? What if she didn’t know where Leila was? He forced himself not to think along those lines, instead concentrating on the horizon coming closer. They disembarked a few minutes later and Pompey was right beside him as they walked down the street towards Eileen’s modest home. It was already getting dark even thought it was late afternoon. They reached the house and Pompey turned to Rob, “are you sure you wanna do this? Are you ready?” Rob didn’t answer, just nodded his head, never more sure of anything in his life.

The door opened and Eileen looked at the two men in front of her with a slight frown, “can I help you?” she asked in a soft voice. Pompey looked at Rob and opened his mouth to speak but Rob held up his hand, stopping. “Good afternoon madam, I hope you can help me. Would you mind very much if we come in?” Eileen was hesitant, “I’m not in the habit of inviting strange men into my house young man. I don’t even know your name.” Her voice was lightly scolding and Rob blushed a little, “I’m sorry ma’am, I my manners are terrible. My name is Robert and this is my friend Pompey.” Eileen’s mind immediately made the connection with the name when she recognized his face. “You are Robert Williams aren’t you?” Rob nodded and looked at her unflinchingly, “yes I am. Can I come in now?” She stepped aside to let them in and closed the door. “Follow me gentlemen, the kitchen is about the best place to be right now; it’s nice and warm.” They followed her into the spacious kitchen and made themselves comfortable around the table. “You both look like you could do with something hot to drink – tea or coffee?” she asked and switched on the kettle.

She placed the tray with the coffee and some homemade cookies in front of them and took a seat across from Rob. They helped themselves and complimented her on her fine baking. She smiled indulgingly, “I’m sure you didn’t fly all the way from Britain to come and sample my baking abilities Mr. Williams. How can I help you?” Rob looked at Eileen, and noticed a woman of strength and character and knew where Leila got her integrity. She reminded him of his Nan Betty and smiled slightly at the memory of the woman that always believed in him. He folded his hands and looked at her in earnest, “I’m looking for Leila, do you know where I can find her?”

The question came as no surprise to Eileen. The minute she recognized the man in front of her, she knew he was going to ask her about Leila. She wasn’t sure how much she should tell Rob, if anything at all. When Leila left her after a few week’s stay, she wasn’t sure that the young woman would ever be able to have a normal enough life to carry on. They still kept in regular contact and Leila’s last visit was a few months ago before she opened her dancing studio. She looked at the young man sitting opposite her and noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the restlessness in his eyes and the way he couldn’t keep his hands still. Leila often mentioned his eyes to Eileen, and looking into them now, she could see what Leila meant when she said he had eyes that spoke to your soul.

She refilled her teacup and sat back with a small smile. She didn’t want to interfere in her granddaughter’s life, but she knew that sometimes a little push in the right direction has never hurt anyone before. She got a piece of paper and a pen and slowly wrote something down. When she was finished, she pushed the paper towards Rob with a secretive smile, “on this piece if paper you will find Leila’s address. But you have to promise me one thing.” He nodded eagerly and looked at Eileen with a heart beating loudly, “you did not get this information from me, you stumbled on it accidentally. Do I have your promise Robert?”


CHAPTER 14

It was long after midnight and Leila found to difficult to sleep. She was tossing and turning, her mind too active to switch off. After the futile attempt to read earlier, she made herself a big mug of Horlicks, but not even that helped to soothe her into slumber. She went to bed, hoping that once she was snuggled up, her mind would slow down too. Too many memories were flooding her mind and knowing that she fought a losing battle, she closed her eyes, and let them just spirit her away. The memories were so clear, as if they happened only yesterday, and Leila felt herself being swept away on a rollercoaster ride …

She left Kirkcaldy after a few weeks, knowing that she had to get back to her own life; she had been in hiding for long enough. When she arrived home, she had difficulty adjusting to the hectic lifestyle she was used to. There were no assignments at present, and she used this time to work out her ideas and plans for the dance studio. One morning, she woke up feeling different; it was difficult to put in words, and she couldn’t remember feeling anything like it before. When she had to rush to the bathroom after eating her breakfast, vomiting, she realized that something was seriously wrong. She got dressed and walked to the drugstore and bought a home pregnancy test. When she did the test and waited the few minutes for the results, she was a ball of nerves. Her mind was in denial as she tried to remember when last she had her period. She was so busy with the tour at that time that she didn’t take notice of any skipped periods. Leila wasn’t sexually active; the only time she slept with someone was Rob that night in Germany. She checked the little test strip, and felt her heartbeat accelerate when she saw the color was a bright blue. It was then that reality hit her between the eyes; she was pregnant with Rob’s baby.

Abortion was never an option for her; she believed that you take the responsibility of being sexually active very seriously with all it’s consequences. Leila made an appointment with her doctor just to confirm her pregnancy, and when he congratulated her, she wasn’t sure if she should laugh or cry. She was in a daze for a couple of days, her mind searching for answers. She woke up one morning, and just knew that she could never forsake her baby. She made plans to move to a bigger apartment, and immediately started organizing the move. She oversaw the move and felt a sense of accomplishment when everything was in its place. Her pregnancy was relatively easy; besides the bouts of morning sickness, she had the usual cravings and easily adapted to her condition. It was strange seeing her breasts getting bigger and her tummy grow, but secretly she marveled at the wonders of her own body. She tried to maintain her usual diet, but her doctor ordered her to eat more regularly.

She informed her parents of her pregnancy, and couldn’t say if they were happy or shocked. Her mother especially seemed a bit upset, telling Leila that she could’ve waited another few years when her dancing career was over. She was quite upset by her mother’s words, and decided not to let them upset her. She also called her Nan, and when Leila told her the news, it was met with a bit of caution. “Leila, are you sure this is what you want? Are you going to …?” She never finished her sentence as Leila interrupted. “Yes Nan I’m sure about this; I didn’t ask for it but I love this baby already. And no, I’m not going to tell Rob about this. If I had a choice, he would never have any knowledge of this either.” Eileen was shocked at her words, but knew she couldn’t argue with her. “My child, all I’m saying is that I hope you thought about this very carefully. It’s not fair that a child grows up without both his or her parents.” Leila sighed, knowing that her Nan was right, “I hear what you say Nanna and I choose that too, but unfortunately my situation is a little more different than the norm. Maybe one day I’ll change my mind.” Her voice faltered towards the end, and for a moment Leila had to breath deeply to get her emotions under control.

She booked her place in a nursing home months in advance, and patiently waited for the little one’s arrival. A few weeks before his birth, his room was ready and waiting to welcome him home. Leila didn’t want to know the sex of her baby, and as time went by, she just knew in her heart that it was a little boy.

One rainy and cold morning in early March, Gabriel was born after his mother was in labor most of the previous night. Right from the start, the little boy was something special. He hardly fussed and only cried when he was wet, hungry or felt lonely. When Leila held him close to her breast minutes after he was born, she felt an intense love for the little boy. She knew then that she would protect him with her life, and that absolutely nothing would stop her from giving him the best of everything.

The adjustment of being responsible for another life, was overwhelming at times. There were many days and nights that Leila cried because she wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to do a good job raising her son. After endless phone calls to her Nan, and the wise and calm advice from her, did Leila’s confidence take a step upwards. She could see Gabriel’s resemblance to Rob almost right away, and many times, she wished that Rob could see his son. As the boy grew older, he looked so much like his father that Leila became a little paranoid that someone would recognize the resemblance between the two. So far everyone that have seen the little boy, have commented what a lovely child he was. His green-gray eyes were the topic of many comments from friends and strangers alike, and Leila prayed that they would never make the connection. She did caution herself that as the boy grew older, the chances were that the resemblance might become more obvious, and some questions might arise. She thought about this often, and later concluded that she would deal with this when she the time was ready.

She smiled softly when she recalled Gabriel’s features; he had dark brown hair and it had the tendency to curl in his neck when it was too long. His eyes were green with some gray flecks in them, and he had a dimple in his right cheek. When he smiled, Leila could see Rob so clearly in her son. A couple of days ago when she was bathing him, he looked at her suddenly and smiled at her cheekily. Another face with a similar cheeky grin, invaded her mind and she her breath caught in her throat. How much he looked like his father …

Many times Leila thought about her Nan’s wise words, and couldn’t decide what to do. She was scared of letting Rob know that he had a son. What would his reaction be at the news? Would he slate her for being cruel and selfish, or worse still, what if he tried to take the boy away from her? She couldn’t and wouldn’t allow that to ever happen; without Gabriel, her life would be meaningless. Based on these thoughts and an element of fear, she decided not to let Rob know about his son. What he didn’t know, would never hurt him.

Hello Everybody,

Here it is ... 3 chapters again. Check out chapter 17 ... the reunion ... I hope you like it!!



CHAPTER 15


Rob was in two minds. Now that he had Leila’s address, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. Should he call her up or should he just show up on her doorstep? What will her reaction be? Will she send him away for a second time, or would she open her heart and let him in. He was pacing the living room of his apartment, smoking too many cigarettes. His mind was in a spin; if only he could have some kind of sign, some indication of what he should do. His heart was telling him one thing and his mind was telling him something different. “If only I knew what the fuck to do!” he said for the hundredth time to the emptiness around him.

Frustrated and tense, he picked up his mobile and dialed a number. A voice recording answered his call after a few rings; “Hi, this is Leila and you have reached Bassline dance studios. I’m unable to take your call right now, but if you leave your name and number, I will return your call as soon as I can. Have a good day.” Rob killed the call before he heard the beeping sound. “Shit!” he said and threw the phone onto the chair where he was standing. He didn’t have the balls or the guts to leave a message because he was scared witless. What if she never returned his call? Suddenly an idea popped into his mind, and he was amazed that he hasn’t thought of it earlier. He picked up his phone again and called Josie’s number. She answered his call after the second ring, “yes Rob, what can I do for you?” Rob smiled, “Josie, have I told you lately how I appreciate all your hard work?” Josie rolled her eyes on the other side of the line and sighed dramatically, “what do you want me to do Rob?” she asked, her voice very patient. He grinned, “I need a huge favor from you. Call this number and find out what kind of dance studio this is.” Josie’s ears pricked with interest, “are we looking for more dancers? I thought we had …” She was interrupted impatiently, “no silly! It’s Leila’s dance studio but I want to know what type of dances she’s teaching. Find out and let me know the minute you get off the phone ok?” She agreed and Rob ended the call, “fuck it I’m brilliant!” and for the first time in months, he felt a small ray of hope burning brighter.

Josie was the best in her field, and an hour later, she had all the information that Rob requested. She called him and said smugly, “You owe me big time Rob. Do you have pen and paper? Here is what I could find out.” Rob felt his heartbeat accelerate and grabbed a pen and a piece of paper lying on the table. “Ok shoot, I’m ready.” Josie started talking, and Rob had to ask her once or twice to go a little slower. When she was finished a few minutes later, answering all his questions, did he end the call, tanking her profusely for her help. He sat down and went through his scribbled notes again, slowly reading all the information he wrote down. A slow smile played around his lips when he got to the end, “oh Leila … if only you knew …”

Leila listened to her messages on the answering machine, and frowned when she heard a slight hesitation before a call was ended with no message. It’s been a few times that week that she had similar messages, and felt a little unease. She wasn’t a paranoid person, but felt a little apprehension. She could handle crank calls or even the odd obscene call now and then, but a silent call made her feel very uncomfortable. She shrugged, and continued taking down messages, the silent phone calls soon forgotten.

Her classes training intensified as the dance competition loomed near. Everyone was in high spirits and very excited at the prospects of showing off their skills. Her advanced class was going through the well-practiced movements effortlessly and with emotion. Leila watched them from all angles and felt a quite pride at the total commitment from these young men and women. They had a great future ahead of them if they were willing to stay true to their passion, and she was going to help them as much as she could. When the last note died away, she applauded them, “that was excellent! If you keep this up, I will have nothing left to teach you!” They grinned at her, her praise worth all the blood, sweat and tears. She stood in front of the class, and looked at them, “I’ve got some good news for you … but I’m not sure if I should tell you now.” As one, the ten people looked at her and groaned, and called some comments. She held up her hands, and laughed; “ok ok, I get the point. It’s like this; the night of your dance competition … I can now confirm that I invited a few of the leading dancing scouts to attend.” It was as if she dropped a bomb; there was a moment of silence before everyone started talking at once. Leila watched them with a little amusement, and cleared her throat. “I thought of inviting them because I truly believe that you are well advanced already. They will be looking at your style and technique, and of course, the passion in which you portray yourself. They will award 2 prices that night.” There was an audible gasp from the small group and she saw their eagerness. “They are willing to pay your full tuition fees for the next year and if they decide, they will use you in smaller productions so that you can get the feel for the stage. Sound good to you?” Immediately there was an overwhelming response, and they gathered around her with hundreds of questions.

Much later after everyone has left for the late afternoon, did Leila sit down at her desk, her hands behind her head. She was smiling broadly; she had given her students the initiative to see what they’re really capable off. She had to pull many strings, and fall back on the contacts she made while she was still dancing professionally, to invite the scouts to the dancing competition. For a moment, she sat back satisfied, knowing that she has contributed in some way to give her students something to work towards.

On the opposite side of London, Rob’s mobile phone rang and he picked it up as soon as he saw the name on the screen. “Yes Josie” and listened carefully to what she had to say. “This ain’t a joke Josie, is it? Because …” She interrupted him and after a moment, Rob smiled broadly; “this is the best news ever! Josie, you’re ace baby. Thanks for your trouble. Keep me posted will you? Here is what I want you to do for me …” He let out a whoop of joy when he ended the call, his excitement tangible. He smiled, very satisfied with the way life was treating him at the moment.

Much later that evening, on the opposite sides of the city, Rob and Leila let their minds wonder to the past, but for totally different reasons. Leila was thinking of lost opportunities and regrets, and Rob was thinking of new possibilities, of holding on to something that he strongly believed in – faith and hope.

CHAPTER 16

Leila was very involved in the preparation for the dance competition. The hours were longer, but she always made sure that she goes home to Gabriel and spent time with him. Her son was the most important person in her life, and when he was born, she made a promise that she will always be there for him. She compromised by starting earlier rather than working later in the afternoon; her time with her son was very precious to her.

Rob in the meantime devised a plan of his own. When Josie informed him of the dancing competition Leila’s studio is planning, he contacted a dance instructor and also a friend of a friend, and asked the woman to wangle an invitation to the competition. Luck was in his favor; Leila accepted the woman, Grace Wilson’s excuse that she was thinking of offering bursaries to promising new dancers. Leila was grateful that the competition got so much attention, and shared with her students the good news. The excitement between the students was tangible, and Leila smiled at their enthusiasm, remembering her own from a few years back.

On Rob’s suggestion, Grace decided to go to the Bassline studio and see what all the hype was about. When he first approached her with his request, her interest was piqued by a woman that Rob was so smitten with. She did a bit of research and was impressed with Leila’s credentials. One afternoon, she slipped into the studio and watched as Leila put her students through their paces. Grace was impressed; a dance instructor herself, she saw the fire and passion in which Leila conducted her class with. She recognized the talent, and knew that the student learning under her had an advantage that few others had.

After an hour, she quietly slipped out again, having seen enough to satisfy her curiosity. When she got home, she called Rob’s number and waited impatiently for him to answer. “Hallo Grace, hope you have something to tell me.” She smiled as she heard the impatience in her voice, “indeed I do Rob, and let me add that you owe me big time.” He laughed on the other side; feeling excited, “anything for you Gracie,” and waited for her to speak. She sighed and starting talking; “the young lady in question knows what she’s doing, I’ll tell you that much. She’s dedicated, hard working and …” She was interrupted, “Gracie, I’m not really interested in all that, I know that already. What I mean is …” It was her turn to laugh softly, “Oh I get it! You want to know what she looks like … ok, let’s see … well, she has a body that I’d kill for. She looks a bit skinny though as if she’s working too hard. Her hair is short, a bit on the messy side and she has the most amazing eyes ...”

Rob was listening as Grace spoke, and he smiled when she described with Leila looked like, just as he remembered her. What he never told anybody that knew about his quest for Leila is that he had a photograph of her. It was taken during the tour after the first concert, and he kept it safely hidden on him at all times. He would often look at the photo, memorizing her features that he knew so well already. He looked into her smiling face and felt a little regret that they never shared so many times together where she’d smile. Most of the times they were together, they were arguing about stupid things, but they were fun nonetheless. He often recalled their night of lovemaking, and would close his eyes as he remembered her passion, her total surrender to him. She was the one woman that held nothing back; she was generous in giving of herself. For Rob, this was the one thing that he’d never experienced before; it wasn’t expected of him to be the leader all the time. They were equals and a new and refreshing experience for Rob; for the first time in his life, he actually gave a damn about being at one with a woman. He wanted to experience that again, with Leila and no one else. Since leaving so unexpectedly, he’d tried recapturing the feeling with others on occasion. Time and again he was disappointed; always there would be an agenda, and he would turn away, disheartened. Later, he stopped trying to capture the moment; he knew that he was wasting his time; he wouldn’t find it with another woman but Leila.

“Rob? Are you still there?” Grace’s voice intruded into his private thoughts, and hastily he apologized. “Thanks so much for your trouble Grace, I owe you.” She smiled, “nah, forget it. Let’s call it a favor to a friend ok?” Rob nodded, “you’re a great friend Grace” and shortly after ended the call. He walked to the kitchen to make some coffee, and his mind repeated everything Grace told him. He felt optimistic that very soon, he would finally be able to see Leila again.

After the last of her students left, Leila locked up and quickly made her way towards Beth’s home where Gabriel was waiting for her. She thought about her class that afternoon and smiled; the preparations were going really well. She was optimistic that the opportunity would be a wonderful experience for her students. She also recalled the strange woman that was in the studio earlier that afternoon. When Leila looked up at one time, the woman was standing out of the way, in the corner of the studio, just watching the class in progress. She never said a word or came forward to speak to Leila. In fact, at one point when she wanted to speak to the woman, she noticed that she was gone. She had no idea who she was or what she was doing there. Leila had the idea that it could’ve been a talent scout, but wasn’t sure. She’d heard about scouts working this way; visiting dance studios and approaching the students individually. She dismissed this idea, hoping that it was just her over-active imagination at work and nothing else. She hurried her steps, wanting to get home to Gabriel.

A few hours later, Leila was sitting on the bed, next to Gabriel and reading him a bedtime story. The little boy’s eyes were fastened on his mother, listening to her voice as she made the story come alive. At one point during the story, he gently pulled her sleeve and looked at her quite seriously, “Mommy, where is my Daddy?” Leila felt the rug being pulled from underneath her feet. She secretly feared that one day Gabriel was going to ask her this very question. She always hoped that he would be much older when he started asking uncomfortable questions, and she would be able to explain the situation a little better. How does she tell Gabriel about his father, the famous pop star? How does she tell him that his father doesn’t know about his existence? She took his hand in hers and smiled, “your Daddy is far away Gabriel. One day he will come back, I promise.” She felt guilt overwhelm her when she looked into Gabriel’s trusting eyes. She was lying to her son and that made her feel like a fake. He nodded his head and smiled, “is he a good man Mommy?” Leila wanted to cry when she heard his words; she wanted to tell Gabriel what an amazing man his father really was. She nodded her head and gently wiped his hair away from his forehead, “yes baby he is. Your Daddy is the best.” Satisfied, he snuggled under the covers and promptly fell asleep.

Later when Leila was getting ready for bed, she kept thinking about Gabriel’s question. She felt ashamed as she recalled the lie she told him. He was still too young to understand, and thought that what she told him would suffice for the moment. Just before she fell asleep, she kept wondering if she was unfair towards Gabriel for not knowing his father. Was she robbing him of an opportunity to know the love and affection of his father? The answer to her question was an overwhelming yes. She was taking away one of the things that every child should have; the love and affection of both their parents, and the opportunity to grow up in a safe and protected environment. She was allowing her pride to come between Gabriel and his father.


CHAPTER 17

Leila didn’t work on weekends as a rule, but with the dancing competition getting closer, she worked Saturdays until early afternoon so that she could still spend time with Gabriel. The afternoon before, she took her son to the park and let him play with some of the other small children. He loved these outings and always looked forward to these afternoons out in the open. Usually when they get home before dark, he would be tired and battled to keep his eyes open. She loved to watch him run around with the other children, laughing and just enjoy being a child. His cheeks would be bright pink from his excursions, and his eyes would shine brightly. Leila would look at her son and still be shocked how much he looked like Rob, especially the eyes and mouth. Her heart would beat a little faster then, wishing that she could just find the courage from somewhere, and pick up the phone to call Rob. She’d tried a few times, but her nerves always failed her, and she would end the call before it was connected.

It was Sunday, almost lunchtime, and Leila was in the kitchen busy preparing lunch. Gabriel was in the lounge, amusing himself with some building blocks and talking to himself. She smiled as she listened to him, his words quite clear as he chattered. There was a knock on the door, and with a frown, she wiped her hands and walked to the front door. Gabriel also heard the noise and got up from the carpet to follow his mother. Leila opened the door but the safety catch was on, only allowing the door to open a fraction. When she looked up to the figure that was standing in front of her, she felt her body sag. Intense green eyes looked at her and watched her face for a reaction. “You!” she managed to get the word past her vocal cords, before her body started shaking slightly. “Hello Leila.” Those were the only words he greeted her with. She managed to pull herself together and looked at him, “what do you want? What are you doing here?” Rob looked at her, and noticed the fear in her eyes. Before he could wonder the reason for this, he saw a small face appearing from behind Leila’s legs, looking at him in wonder. His heart stopped and his breathing was laboured; instantly he recognised the features looking back at him. His legs felt heavy and he slowly went on his hunches, the words screaming in his brain. It couldn’t be … it’s not possible … but the evidence was there, right in front of him, and unless his eyesight suddenly left him in the lurch, this was his son staring back at him. He tore his eyes away from the little boy and looked up quickly; taking in how pale Leila looked. He got up slowly, his eyes never leaving her face. Without a word, she took off the safety and opened the door for him to come in.

The little boy looked at Rob and smiled, “come see what I’m building!” with all the enthusiasm a child could muster, and hastily walked to the lounge. In a daze Rob followed the boy and never noticed his surroundings. His eyes were on his son, and watched as he went into great detail, explaining to Rob what he was doing. He sat down on the opposite side of the building blocks, and engaged in his first conversation with his son, his own flesh and blood.

Leila wasn’t sure how to feel or react. Not in her wildest dreams had she ever thought that this was the way Rob would ever meet his son. She watched as Gabriel literally took over the sticky situation and made Rob a part of his little world. This didn’t calm or put her at ease; she knew the Williams temper pretty well, and knew that the confrontation that she feared for so long, was finally within range. Her stomach lurched as she imagined the anger and even fury, the words that were going to do battle with each other. She realized that this had to happen eventually; it wasn’t something that she could hide for the rest of her life. She turned around and walked to the kitchen to make some coffee, but also was a good excuse to keep her hands busy.

Rob was completely drawn into the little boy’s world as together, they built with the blocks strewn around them. He was amazed at the boy’s vocabulary; the words that he spoke were of a child a little older. He had to step down his language to let the boy understand what he was saying, and he was conscious not to use any unsavory words. He stopped what he was doing and looked at the boy with a smile, “hey mate, I don’t even know your name.” The boy looked at his new friend, his eyes trusting; “my name is Gabriel. What’s your name?” Rob nodded and smiled, “you have a nice name son. My name is Rob.” He held out his hand and the little boy shook it solemnly, “you have a nice name too Rob.” Green eyes looked at Rob, and he felt how his own well up with tears. Gabriel looked at Rob with a little concern when he noticed the tears. He got up and quickly and put his chubby little arms around Rob’s neck. “Don’t cry Rob, its ok.” Something gave away within him; all the times when he wished for better things, all the times he was lonely and he was at the end of his rope, suddenly seemed insignificant when his son’s arms were around his neck, trying to comfort him. He slowly and tenderly put his arms around the slender body of Gabriel, and held him lightly. Contentment and a measure of peace filled him then; he imagined that this was what a piece of heaven would be like. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, feeling Gabriel’s warm breath in his neck, and the realization crystallized in his mind that this moment with his son was worth more than everything he ever owned.

This was how Leila found them when she walked in with a tray of coffee. She stood still and took in the scene, and for some strange reason, she felt relief wash over her that finally, father and son met. Whatever happened from here, she could and would face with her usual will and determination. She set the tray on the table and sat down. Gabriel pulled away from the embrace, and looked at her with big eyes; “Rob was sad Mommy. I gave him a hug to make him feel better.” She nodded and wanted to take Gabriel in her arms and hold him tight. She forced herself to smile at him, “you did fine Gabriel. I’m sure Rob feels better now.” Just then, Rob got up from his place on the floor and looked at Leila, “you have some explaining to do” he said softly, aware that the little boy was listening to their conversation. She nodded slowly and quickly looked away, “would you like some coffee?” He nodded and she poured his coffee, her hands shaking a bit. She handed him his mug and their fingers touched, sending a current of electricity through her body. She blushed and looked down, mentally cursing herself for being so immature. She busied herself fixing Gabriel’s drink and made the boy to sit down before handing him his plastic cup.

There was a bit of an uncomfortable silence; neither of them knew what to say, afraid of saying something that may be hurtful. Finally, Rob looked at her, “you look well Leila.” She watched him, noticed the gaunt look on his face. He’d lost weight too; his clothes were a little big on his frame. “You too” she said softly, looking at her hands. He smirked, “thanks for being nice. I look like sh..” The words died on his lips when he saw Leila’s face, indicating Gabriel in their company. He felt like an idiot suddenly, “sorry, will try and keep it clean. You could’ve been honest Leila, I know I’m not looking my best. Haven’t been for the last 2/3 years actually.” She didn’t know if the jab was intentional and chose to ignore it. “You’re certainly doing well on the charts Rob” she said and regretted her words; they sounded spiteful. He smiled at her indulgingly, “what can I say? The fans still love me. But seriously, it’s hasn’t been bad. How about you Leila?” He wanted to hear her voice, he wanted to hear how much she missed him …

“After Gabriel’s birth I took some time off and opened a dance studio, something I always wanted to do. It’s doing well I guess, I’m enjoying it. I have some really good students and expect them all to do well. Other than that … I spend as much time as I can with Gabriel.” She felt the need suddenly to justify her actions and decisions. Rob listened and heard the bare essentials she gave him; she didn’t give away anything personal. He felt some disappointment, not sure what he expected to hear. Maybe he was the stupid one, maybe he was delusional, hoping for something that might not even be there after all. But what was important to him, was Gabriel, his son. If nothing ever happened between him and Leila, if it was never meant to be, then at least he had the solace that he has a child. He could finally rest assured that his legacy will not die with him; his son will carry forth his name.

Greetings Everyone,

My apologies for posting tomorrow's chapters today. I've taken a day's leave for tomorrow & couldn't leave you in the lurch! :wink3: So here are chapters 18, 19 & 20 - I hope you enjoy the read!


CHAPTER 18


Rob stayed for the rest of the day. In all reality, there was just no way that he was going to turn around and leave. An unspoken truce for the moment, was established between Rob and Leila; they didn’t want to cause Gabriel any distress. He joined them for lunch in the small kitchen, and for a fleeting moment Leila thought how natural it looked. Rob seemed to be at home there, he made conversation with Gabriel and the boy lapped up everything he said. He asked Rob endless questions, and at one point he looked at Leila, “does he always ask this many questions?” She nodded with a smile, “you haven’t heard anything yet. Wait until you watch some telly with him.” He smiled slowly, “are you inviting me to stay then?” His words took the wind out of her sails, and before she could answer, Gabriel chirped; “please Mommy, can he stay? He’s my friend.” She looked at the boy, his face so earnest and hopeful. She stole a glance at Rob and saw the smug look in his eyes. She looked at Gabriel and nodded slowly, “maybe you should ask Rob yourself my boy.” She felt a childish pleasure as she put the ball in his court, expecting him to think of some excuse to leave soon. Before Gabriel could ask his question, Rob nodded and ruffled his hair, “of course I’ll stay mate. I will even read you a bedtime story.” Gabriel’s eyes lit up and he clapped his hands excitedly, and at that moment, Leila knew that she could never keep Rob away from his son.

They spent the afternoon playing games in the lounge, amusing Gabriel. The little boy was overjoyed that he had 2 people to play with him, and often his clear laughter could be heard. Leila smiled at his obvious joy and marveled at the feeling of union in her apartment. Late afternoon she prepared hot drinks and some toasted sandwiches for them, while Gabriel and Rob kept each other company in the lounge. They’ve switched on the TV and were watching some cartoons, sitting next to each other.

Rob couldn’t keep his eyes from the boy for long. He took in the miniature features; the way he smiled and his eyes that can be so serious one moment and playful the next. Gabriel would look at him from time to time, saying something or just smile. Rob’s heart would contract as he realized how much he’d missed out on his son’s life. He made a silent oath to Gabriel and himself that from now on he would be more involved, be a real father to the boy. His mind was still spinning from all the questions he had that only Leila could answer. He couldn’t decide if he was angry with her or if he felt sorry for her. Some other women would’ve jumped at the opportunity to either sell their story, tried to corner him into a commitment of sorts or extorted a huge amount of money from him. Leila didn’t choose any of these options and he wasn’t really surprised at all; he knew that she wasn’t that type of person to do something so despicable. He would still like to hear her side of the story; the only thing he wasn’t sure of was his reaction to her words.

After they ate, it was time for Gabriel’s bath. Rob invited himself with and watched the interaction between mother and son. It was a beautiful relationship they shared, something that he never really seen elsewhere. She was patient with him and answered all his questions as though they were important. Gabriel would include him in their conversation as well, and Rob gladly participated. Dressed in his pajamas and snugly tugged into bed, Gabriel was already tired, but still insisted that Rob read him a bedtime story. Rob chose a book from the table and made himself comfortable on the bed. Leila got up, walked to the door and turned around, “will you be ok here? I’m going to wash the dishes, shouldn’t be too long?” He looked at her and nodded, looking at Gabriel, “we’ll be ok here on our own won’t we mate?” The little boy nodded and smiled at his mother, “yes Mom, we’ll be fine.” She kissed him on the forehead and ruffled his hair, “enjoy the story Gabriel” and left the room.

While she washed the dishes, Leila’s mind thought about the time that Rob has spent here with them, and had to admit it was a pleasant day. It was amazing how quickly he fitted right in; today he was not the famous pop star used to attention. Today he gave his attention to his son unselfishly, and from what Leila observed, it suited him perfectly; it was something that came naturally to him. “Gabriel’s asleep,” his voice said behind her, and she nearly dropped the plate in her hands. She turned to face him, “thank you. I’m almost done here. Would you like something to drink?” He nodded; “I’ll make the tea” he said and switched on the kettle. He busied himself with the mugs and neither spoke while they finished their respective tasks.

He carried the mugs in his hands and Leila followed him, knowing that the moment of truth had probably just arrived. She took her tea and took a sip, nervously stealing looks in his direction. He seemed calm on the surface, but she suspected that he was organizing his thoughts. The silence dragged and Leila opened her mouth to say something when Rob looked up suddenly, “why Leila?” he asked, his voice a soft whisper. She knew exactly what he was referring to but not sure how to begin to explain. “Why have you never made the effort to let me know that I have a son?” The words hit their target, and Leila had a sinking feeling that she wouldn’t be able to even begin to explain her reasons to him.

His eyes held hers captive, pinning her down as he waited for an answer. She searched her mind for the right words, and finding none that would satisfy him. She decided that the best possible way to work through this discussion was to be honest. She looked at him unwaveringly, “because I was scared … and I didn’t want to ruin your life.” He looked at her perplexed, “what are you talking about?” He really didn’t understand what she was saying and hoped that she believed him. She looked at him, and he noticed the slight anger in them, “you were already involved with someone else before the tour ended and I wasn’t about to step between” she said, her voice a little strained. Rob frowned, seriously thinking that she was under the wrong impression or just trying to toy with him. “I wasn’t involved with anyone after you and I … after that night Leila, you have to believe me.” His voice was sincere but Leila didn’t want to believe that, because if that was true, she just lived a lie the last 3 years. “Shall I remind you then?” she asked sarcastically, sitting on the edge of her seat. He nodded, “yeah, please do because then I’d also know.” For a moment Leila hesitated, but then continued; “the last concert in Manchester … you ended the show with that song called ‘Angel’ and you sang it to someone special.” Realization dawned on him slowly, and he recalled the night she referred too. “I sang ‘Angel’ that night and if memory serves me correctly, my words were that I fucked up and with that song, I was hoping to say sorry and convey what I was feeling. Did it ever occur to you Leila that I was singing that song for you? I was trying to say sorry about what happened that night in Germany. I thought that you felt I was deliberately using you; that I intended to seduce you. I wanted you to listen to the song and know that I didn’t use you Leila; I could never do that to you. I was trying to tell you that you are my angel and that I love you.”

The bottom fell out of Leila’s world. Rob’s word reverberated around in her mind, repeating themselves over and over again. The song was for her, not another woman. He sang the song because he cared and he wanted to ask her forgiveness. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks, forcing her on her feet. All these years she had wasted, believing that there was someone else in his life, someone special that he cared about. That was one of the main reasons why she never contacted him when she found out that she was pregnant with his child. What has she done? She had wasted 3 precious years where things could’ve been so different; not just for herself but for Gabriel and Rob as well. That is something that she would never be able to forgive herself for. Out of pride and blinding ego, she had stumbled ahead on her path, never for once stopping and asking herself the questions that were so obvious now. Her mind was blank and she struggled to comprehend what was happening. What was she going to do now? How did Rob feel, especially now that he knows how she’d deceived him? Will they ever be able to work out the misunderstandings of the past, or will it always stand between them?

Rob watched the emotions play off on Leila’s face and could only guess what was going through her mind right now. He felt so tired then, so very tired of everything that happened that day. Today he found out he had a son and that he missed 2 years of his child’s life. Conflicting emotions rushed through him, but the one emotion that returned with more intensity than the others, were anger; anger at being kept in the dark about something so personal, something that meant so much to him. “Do you have anything to say Leila? My God, I find it difficult to believe that you’re so quiet about this.” His voice was cold and she shivered involuntary. “What do you want me to say Rob? What is it you want to hear?” Rob snapped, his pent-up emotions getting the better of him. “For fuck’s sake Leila! I want you to tell me why you kept my son from me. You know that I would’ve done everything for him! Instead you kept quiet and made a mockery of all this. Jesus … I can’t believe you!” Her eyes blazed when she looked at him, “I did what I thought was best for me and my son!” He jumped up and came closer quickly, his face inches away from hers, “you seem to forget that he’s my son too. Did you really think you could keep this secret forever? Did you? Answer me Leila!” His face was contorted in anger, and Leila felt a sudden chill, a fear for what he may be capable off. But she jumped past that, plundering ahead in the hopes that she could make him see reason. “If you kept quiet about the pregnancy I could understand that … to a point. But afterwards …” His voice trailed off, leaving Leila hanging and feeling more miserable. “I’m not proud of myself ok? You have no idea how much anguish this caused me. I wanted to call you, wanted to tell you about Gabriel, but … I didn’t have the courage.” He smirked, “or maybe it was your stupid pride that kept you from telling me. You know Leila, I truly believed that there could be something for us … a future, an ‘us’ but now … after all this … I don’t think so.”
His words found its target and it hit hard; harder than what Leila wanted to admit. The fragile hope she was subconsciously holding onto, had just been torn away from her. There were no maybes, no more possibilities; Rob had made that very clear now. Defeated, she sank down in the nearest chair. She felt like crying, but kept her emotions under control. She looked at him, “now what?” The words were spoken in a forlorn voice and Rob hated the sound of it. “I will of course be in contact … via my lawyers. I want to share custody of Gabriel. I wonder … does he know about me? Does he even know that I’m his father?” There was a hopeful note in his voice as he asked the question, and he desperately hoped that he was wrong about the naggly feeling that persisted. Her silence and the slight blush on her face confirmed his suspicion. “Christ” he muttered under his breath. He walked to the door and turned around to face her, “I’m fetching Gabriel next Friday afternoon. See that he’s ready and pack enough clothes for the week-end.” Leila leaped up and stormed towards him, “but … you can’t! He doesn’t even know you!” There was a cruel smile around his mouth, “then its time that he gets to know his father don’t you think?” She wanted to hit him then, hurt him like he was hurting her. “But … he’s just a little boy, he …” He interrupted her, his voice like the artic wind, “Don’t try and stop me. You don’t have the resources Leila, trust me.” With those parting words, he opened the door and slammed it behind him, leaving fear and desperation in his wake.


CHAPTER 19


After that encounter, Leila’s life was in turmoil. She was worried what was going to happen now. Gabriel was everything to her, and she couldn’t imagine what her life would be without him. Rob didn’t say it in as many words, but she suspected that it he really wanted to, he could take Gabriel away from her. Like he mentioned, he had the resources to do that if she fought him on the custody issue. She didn’t know him that well, but suspected that he wouldn’t do something intentionally to hurt her. He wouldn’t take his son away just because he could; he’d have Gabriel’s interests at heart. She maintained her routine although she felt nervous at what was happening. She slept badly at night, worrying about things that hadn’t happen yet. She tossed and turned, and when she managed to get a few hours of broken sleep, she had nightmares of her and Rob’s disagreement.

Gabriel in the meantime, couldn’t stop talking about Rob. He asked Leila endless questions about him, and listened to her answers carefully. “When is he coming again Mommy?” he asked one night as she dressed him after his bath. “You’re going to visit him soon baby,” she answered, and saw his face light up. “Are you coming with Mommy?” Leila shook her head, “no Gabriel, you and Rob are going to visit alone. Would you like that?” He looked at her uncertainly, “will I come home again Mommy?” She hugged him close, “of course baby, this is your home.” He nodded, satisfied at her answer, “ok” and wriggled out of her embrace. “Can I have some tea please?” he asked and watched her smile, “of course my boy. Lets go make you some” and together mother and son walked to the kitchen.

Much later, when Gabriel was asleep, did Leila pick up the phone and dialed Rob’s number. He answered almost immediately and caught her by surprise. “Leila? Is anything wrong? Is it Gabriel?” His voice was worried, and Leila quickly assured him, “no we’re fine, nothing wrong. I’m sorry to bother you at this hour” she said hurriedly. “You should know that I don’t sleep till the early hours of the morning.” At least he didn’t sound pissed off at her for phoning, she mused and continued; “It’s about Friday.” Immediately Rob felt his body tense in anticipation, prepared to fight if he had to. Her words took the wind out of his sails, “what time are you picking Gabriel up? What activities do you have planned for him so that I know what to pack.” He sighed, “I actually haven’t given it much thought to be honest,” he answered truthfully. “What does he like doing?” She smiled, “anything really as long as he has someone doing it with him. He loves going to the park, feeding the geese. He also enjoys playing indoors …” He heard the obvious love in her voice, and felt at a disadvantage. Was he doing the right thing by subjecting himself and his son to this? he asked himself. Of course I am, he reasoned with himself. I owe it to Gabriel and myself to have a bond, he muttered silently. “Tell you what. Why don’t I pick him up early Saturday morning … say … around 8 – is that ok with you?” Leila’s heart wanted to break when she heard the words; it was so sad that things had to come to this. In a shaky voice she replied, “That’s fine. I will see that he’s ready. It will also give you time to think of ways to keep him occupied.” He smiled sadly on the other side, “I’ll see you Saturday morning then. And thank you Leila.” She wanted to ask him what he meant by the words, but kept quiet, sensing that now wasn’t the right time. “Good bye Rob” she whispered before disconnecting the call.

She sank down against the wall on her hunches and buried her face in her hands. Heartbreaking sobs sounded in the silence of the apartment. All this time that she remained strong for herself and for Gabriel and now … it was all just too much for Leila. She cried for all the things that could’ve been so different now, and all the things that could now never be. She stayed there for a long time, lost in the past and all the memories that she’d suppressed for so long. Flashes of the tour that she did with Rob’s crew, the times they interacted with one another … and then the night in the pub she said all those nasty things that Rob overheard … their lovemaking that night that was still surreal in Leila’s mind. The rest of the tour when she avoided him like the plague and then the night in Manchester when Rob sang that song … it will haunt her forever. She recalled the words as he sang, and she remembered thinking how very lucky the special woman in Rob’s life was. Meanwhile when he sang those words, they were meant for her …

Much later, after a hot shower and more tears, did Leila get into bed. Her mind was way to busy to fall asleep. Instead, she started thinking about how Gabriel’s weekend would be spent with Rob. She could imagine Rob’s nervousness at having a small boy in this company for the weekend. She just hoped that he would be able to cope with Gabriel. The little boy was an easy child most of the time. He’d never before with someone before and she could only hope that he’d feel comfortable in Rob’s company. She could always call to hear how things are going … as long as Rob didn’t think she didn’t trust him. She sensed how important this is for him to establish a bond with his son, and she would help as much as she could to help him. Satisfied with her decision, she finally fell into a restless sleep in the early hours of the morning.

On the other side of the city, Rob was pacing the floor as usual. He just got off the phone with Leila and not sure how he was supposed to feel. On one side he hated what he was doing to Leila, and on the other side he felt a sense of doing what was right; he wanted to do what his heart told him to do. He didn’t want to break up a home; in fact, he wanted to ensure that they all grow closer. The other night when he told Leila that he didn’t know of there could ever be a chance for them, he wasn’t exactly truthful. He spoke out of anger; he wanted to hurt her, to make her feel what he had suffered for a long time. The fact was that he loved her, he loved her like no one else before. She was someone that he could see having a future with. She was a strong woman and although pride was sometimes a problem, he was sure that together, they could make a success out of a relationship. She was like no other he’d ever met, and he doubted if he ever would. What he wasn’t sure of is what he should do. Does he go out on a limb and try winning her heart, or does he leave things the way they are? The more important question was – how does he give Gabriel the life he never had? How does he ensure that his son has the love, attention and devotion of both his parents at the same time? The last thing he wants was for the boy to feel torn between two people. He could never do that to a child, no matter what the circumstances.

He opened the balcony door and stepped outside for some fresh air. It was overcast and cold, and he pulled his jacket tighter around him. He was alone with his thoughts for a few minutes, thinking about all kinds of things. Finally, he just looked around the twinkling lights of the city in the distance, “please just give me a sign will you? Anything that will show me what to do …”

CHAPTER 20


Saturday morning arrived much too quickly for Leila. Her classes started at 9 and she got Gabriel ready before Rob picked him up. Gabriel was chattering non-stop, excited by his visit to Rob’s house. He asked endless questions about the house that Leila couldn’t answer, and she smiled at him, “tell you what. When you come back, you tell Mommy what his place looks like ok?” He nodded enthusiastically and clapped his hands, “yes I will!” When they finished packing his overnight bag, he had breakfast with Leila in the kitchen. She looked at him and couldn’t help wondering what his weekend would be like. When he comes back the next day … would he know that Rob was his father? Before she could ponder anymore on this issue, there was a loud knock on the front door. Gabriel scattered off his chair without finishing his breakfast, and ran to the door. “Come quick Mommy, its Rob!” he said loudly, and tried to reach the door handle. Leila laughed and opened the door while Gabriel stood one side. When he spotted him on the other side of the door, Gabriel grinned happily. “Hello Rob! I missed you!” Rob bent down and scooped him up in his arms, giving him a quick hug, “hello mate! Are you ready?” Gabriel nodded and took the cap off Rob’s head and put it on his own. “Now I look just like you!” he said loudly and Rob smiled and nodded, “yes you do.” He put the boy down and walked into the apartment, followed closely by Jonny.

Leila was surprised to see Jonny there, but reasoned that someone had to bring Rob over, as he didn’t like driving. They greeted each other a little shyly, not sure how to act or react. Leila looked at them, “would you like something to drink before you leave?” Jonny smiled at her, “thanks that would be …” Rob interrupted, “sorry no Leila, we have to get going. We have lots of stuff planned for Gabriel, don’t we mate?” and looked at Jonny. He looked confused and then noticed the look on Rob’s face, “yeah … that’s right.” He didn’t sound convincing, but Leila left it at that; she also had to hurry to be in time for her first dance class. She bent down and hugged Gabriel close, “you be a good boy Gabriel. I’ll see you tomorrow ok?” The little boy kissed her on the cheek, “bye Mommy, see you tomorrow.” He looked so happy that Leila swallowed away the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. She took his hand as they walked to the door; Jonny and Rob each carrying a bag. When they reached the door, Rob turned to her, “any special instructions before we leave?” Leila shook her head, “no I don’t think so, Gabriel is an easy child to take care off. If you’re not sure of something, you can just call.” He nodded and smiled nervously, “ok then … shall we go mate?” he asked Gabriel as he took his hand. The little boy nodded and put his hand in Rob’s without hesitation. Leila stood by the door and watched them leave, her heart in her mouth. Just before they turned the corner, Gabriel turned around, waved at her and disappeared.

Leila closed the door quietly and stood still for a moment. Silence surrounded her and it was a feeling she wasn’t used to anymore; since Gabriel’s birth, they’ve never been separated for more that a few hours during the day when she worked. She cleared the kitchen table and quickly washed the dishes before leaving for the studio. It was with a huge sigh that she closed the door behind her a few minutes later and hurriedly left for her first class. She forced her thoughts away from Rob and Gabriel; she was sure they would be fine. Instead, she thought about all she had to do today during the practice sessions to prepare her students for the competition less than 3 weeks away.

The trio arrived at Rob’s home and he turned to look at Gabriel. “Do you like games mate?” The boy nodded, and waited for Rob to tell him more. “I’m going to carry you and you have to keep your face hidden ok? No one is allowed to see your face until we’re inside the house.” The boy nodded again and smiled; the game sounded like fun to him. Rob turned to Jonny, “are you ready?” Jonny nodded and got ready to get out. Rob stopped him, “I have a better idea; why don’t you carry Gabriel? We can always get his bags later.” Jonny nodded, “ok then. Come on Gabriel; let’s see how good you are at this game. Remember, no face.” He grabbed the little boy and pressed his face against his shoulder, making sure he wasn’t visible to any paparazzi lenses. Rob grimaced as he got out the car to follow Jonny. It was times like this that he hated them with a passion that bordered on blind rage. The endless hours these people would camp out close by to snap any slight movement from him or the house he lived in was something he still found sickening. He made every effort to avoid their prying lenses and like hell if his son’s face will appear in a rag the following day. He hurried after Jonny and Gabriel, and hoped that they reached their destination safely.

The rest of the afternoon sped by for Leila. Seeing that she didn’t have to rush home to Gabriel, she used the time to let her students practice on their own while she attended to some paperwork in her office. She sat in her small office and grinned as she heard the music and the shouts of excitement from the people in the studio. There was much excitement between them, and Leila could feel their enthusiasm. She sneaked a look a few minutes later, and had to admit that they were good; she was glad she didn’t have to choose a winner on the night.

When she got home later, she was tired but happy. She loved seeing the fruits of her labor and it always brought a sense of accomplishment that made her feel she was contributing positively. She ran a hot bath and added some bath salts to ease her aching muscles. She lit a few candles as well, creating an atmosphere of peace and calm. She didn’t often get the time to spoil herself like this, and took advantage of the time on her hands. She closed her eyes and relaxed a little, clearing her mind of all it’s thoughts. An hour later and the water a lot cooler, she got out of the bath, dressed in her pj’s and made herself some tea. She opened the book she was reading and after a few minutes, stifled some yawns. She got into bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

In Rob’s home on the other side of London, there was some panic. The day itself was good; Jonny and Rob took Gabriel to the park where they fed some ducks and watched as the little boy played with some of the other children. They took the boy for a milkshake and grinned at his obvious joy at being so spoilt. On the spur of the moment, Rob decided to take him to eat a hamburger. Jonny looked at Rob with concern, “mate, do you think it’s a wise choice? I mean … the kid just had a milkshake, maybe we can leave it for tomorrow.” Rob laughed at his friend, “he’s a Williams mate. They can stomach anything. Come on, I don’t think Leila would mind.” Jonny wanted to comment, but thought it best to keep quiet; he didn’t want to spoil the moment.

Gabriel wasn’t feeling well. It started when they got home from their afternoon when the boy started vomiting. Panicking, Rob rushed him to the bathroom and looked helplessly as Gabriel bent over the toilet bowl. When he was done, Rob wiped his face with a wet cloth and looked at him with concern, “are you ok son?” Gabriel shook his head and held his stomach, “it hurts” he moaned and started crying. “Ssshhhh” Rob said and picked him up. “It’s gonna be ok, we’ll get you some medicine to make you feel better.” He wracked his brain to remember if there was any medicine in his house besides his pills. He walked with the boy to his room and put him on his bed. The little boy had stopped crying and watched Rob’s every move. He took out the boy’s pajamas and while he spoke to him, helped him to get dressed. He opened the covers and helped Gabriel to settle against the pillows. “How are you feeling Gabriel? Does your tummy still hurt?” The boy looked at him with big eyes and nodded slowly, “a little” he said softly. Rob sat down on the bed next to him and ruffled his hair, “I’m going to ask Jonny to buy some medicine for your tummy ok? Stay right here, I’ll be back.” Making sure that the boy was comfortable, he rushed from the room in search for Jonny.

He found his friend in the TV room, busy watching some reality show. “I need a favor mate” he said hurriedly. Jonny looked up, “what’s wrong?” Rob stood in front of him, looking worried, “its Gabriel. He says his stomach is hurting and he also vomited earlier.” Jonny jumped up, “is he ok now?” Rob nodded, “I think so … for now at least. Could you please go to the chemist and get him something for his stomach? I don’t want the kid to be in pain.” Jonny looked at him and shook his head slowly, “I told you not to let him have that burger but as usual you didn’t listen.” Rob held up his hand, “no time for preaching mate ok? You can do that later. Just get the stuff for me will you?” Jonny sighed, took the keys from the table and left the house in a hurry.

When Jonny returned a short while later, Rob gave Gabriel some of the syrup the pharmacist prescribed. Soon afterwards, the little boy smiled at Rob and told him he felt better. Rob sighed with relieve and smiled at the boy, thankful that it wasn’t anything serious. Just to be sure, he sat by his son till he fell asleep a short while later. His face softened as he wiped away some hair from Gabriel’s forehead and let his fingers linger a while longer. He was unprepared for the rush of emotion that filled him; flooding every cell in his body. He never knew that he could feel such a pure, unconditional emotion for another human being. “I love you Gabriel. You are my sanity in this crazy world …”

The next afternoon Rob and Jonny took Gabriel home before it got too cold outside. Leila opened the door before they could knock and Gabriel ran into her arms. She held him tight against her for a few moments and kissed his cheek. “Were you a good boy?” she asked and looked at him. He nodded, “yes Mommy and I was sick too.” She was shocked to hear the words and quickly looked at Rob. He looked embarrassed and shrugged his shoulders, “it was nothing really. It was my own stupidity, I take full responsibility.” He was so sincere and Leila believed him. She caught the look of amusement on Jonny’s face and knew there was a story behind this. “Why didn’t you call me? Was it serious?” she asked anxiously. Rob couldn’t look her in the eyes and battled to speak, stumbling over his words. Jonny stepped forward, and offered an explanation; “we took Gabriel for a milkshake yesterday after spending time in the park. Then Mr. Nutritious decided to take the kid for a burger. I tried to warn him that it might be a bit much for the boy but as usual …” Rob was a little annoyed, “thanks mate” he said sarcastically and looked at Leila. “Look, I went a bit overboard ok? I know now that a small kid’s stomach can’t handle the sh.. sorry, rubbish we grownups put into it.” Leila didn’t know if she should be upset or start laughing; Rob’s face was comical, and Jonny made it very difficult to keep a straight face. Rob looked at her again, “anyway, Jonny got something from the pharmacy to make the tummy ache better.” Gabriel tugged at her jeans, “its true Mommy. I felt better and Rob let me sleep in his bed” the boy offered to ease the pressure off Rob. She smiled at him, “as long as you feel better now my boy” and then looked at Rob, “I hope you’ll be more careful in future.”

The words were not what he expected to hear; he was convinced that Leila was going to make a scene and tell him that he’s a shit father, and that Gabriel won’t be spending any more time with him. He smiled relieved, and mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ to her. She nodded her head and smiled, glad that they could address this like adults.

On their way home, Jonny turned to Rob, “you’ve got it bad for her mate.” Rob looked at him as though he’d lost his mind, “you’re out of your mind mate. She’s so pissed with me, I dunno if she’ll ever allow me close enough to her again.” Jonny smiled, “oh I’d say you have a fair chance Rob, don’t loose hope just yet.” Rob looked at him, serious suddenly, “you really think so Jonny? Because sometimes I think so too and then … well … I think that I must be loosing my fucking marbles.” Jonny laughed out loud, “if the two of you will just stop being so stubborn and full of shit, there might be a chance. And that’s the gospel according to Jonathan Wilkes; I’ve never been wrong about something like this before. It’s time to start polishing your romancing techniques son, and I’ll even help you if you like …” Rob laughed and punched him on the shoulder, “I don’t need your help mate. The ladies are falling over their feet to be with me.” Jonny looked at him with a mischievous grin, “yeah, and that’s why the mother of your child is still walking around a free woman. Some romancer you are …”

CHAPTER 21


Gabriel’s visits to Rob became a regular institution. In the beginning, Leila was hesitant on what the influence would be on Gabriel, but the boy seemed to take it in his stride. He looked forward to these visits and would come back on a Sunday afternoon, excitedly telling Leila all he and Rob did. Secretly, she was relieved at hearing this; she really wanted Gabriel and Rob to get to know one another as father and son. She used the free time on weekends to finalize the dancing competition, and on Sundays, she indulged in spoiling herself; doing the things she never had the time for. She missed the little boy’s presence in the apartment, and often wanted to call to hear his voice, but always stopped herself. She didn’t want Rob to think that she was checking up on him, and besides, she knew that Gabriel was safe with his father; Rob would never let anything happen to him.

It was a cold and rainy Sunday morning, and Leila was sitting on her bed, working on her laptop. She could hear the pelting rain against the window, and closed her eyes for a few moments. She always loved the rain; as a child she often went for walks in the rain, and enjoyed the feel of raindrops falling on her face. Where other people might feel depressed because of the constant rain, Leila loved the sound and the smell of rain falling. For her, there was nothing as comforting when waking up during the night, to hear the lulling sound of water drops falling down. Now, as she listened to the rhythm of nature playing outside, her mind was elsewhere. She was thinking of Rob and how much he’d been in her thoughts the last couple of weeks. Whenever he came to fetch Gabriel, he was always friendly towards her, informing what he’d planned for the weekend. Leila appreciated his efforts making her feel part of the father-son relationship. He’d always ask for her opinion of things relating to their son, and she was glad to participate. Sometimes, when he brought Gabriel home on a Sunday afternoon, he would share with her something Gabriel said or done, or what they did together. She loved watching him as he spoke of his son; his eyes would be gentle, and the lines around his mouth seemed softer and she saw the hidden excitement in his body. Since the little boy entered his life, Rob seemed to be more focussed, more at ease with himself and who he was, accepting the fact that he’s not perfect, and actually being ok with that. She loved seeing the interaction between him and Gabriel; two people so different but in so many ways the same.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the mobile phone, and when she recognised Rob’s name on the screen, she quickly answered the call. “Rob? Everything ok? Gabriel … is he …?” He laughed softly on the other side, “morning Leila. Rest assured, our son is fine. He’s having tea in the kitchen with Jonny.” She sighed with relief, “sorry for being so melodramatic, it’s just …” “You don’t have to explain, I understand. I promise to call you immediately should anything ever happen to him.” She smiled softly, “thank you for that. May I ask why you’re calling?” He sighed, “well … I would like to know if I can drop Gabriel off a little earlier than normal. I was thinking … and well … I think there is something we should talk about.” Leila tried to read between the lines without asking outright. His voice was the usual friendliness, and didn’t give anything away. “Ok … it’s sounds serious. What time would you like to come over?” she asked a little nervous, wracking her brain what could possibly be the ‘something’ he wished to discuss with her. “I’ll see you around 3, is that ok?” he asked. “That’s fine,” she answered and shortly afterwards, ended the call.

Leila didn’t spend the rest of the morning worrying over what Rob wanted to discuss; she knew that it would only get her irritated and worked-up. She used the time to clean up her apartment and pack away some of Gabriel’s toys lying around. She made shepherds pie for lunch and just finished washing the dishes when Rob arrived. When she opened the door, she was surprised to see only Rob there; Gabriel was nowhere in sight. She looked at him questioningly, “where’s Gabriel?” she asked. He smiled, “he’s with Jonny in the park; I hope you don’t mind. What I’d like to discuss with you is best if he’s not around.” He walked into the apartment and took off his jacket, making himself at home on one of the couches. Leila was a bit perturbed, not sure what all of this was about. “Something to drink?” she asked and before he could answer, she headed to the kitchen. She reminded herself to stay calm and not jump to any conclusions; Rob didn’t give a hint as to what was on his mind and she had to give him the benefit of the doubt.

She sat opposite him on the edge of her chair, the mug of coffee cupped in her hands. Rob took a sip from his mug, and looked at her seriously, “I’m sorry for making you so nervous like this Leila, but I’m trying to find a starting point.” She nodded impatiently, “why don’t you just say what’s on your mind Rob, you’re scaring me here ok?” He smiled and tried to make her feel comfortable, but it had no effect on Leila. Without further ado, he plunged ahead; “I’ve been thinking … the last couple of weeks have been quite a change for me as you can imagine.” She nodded, understanding what he was talking about. “Gabriel is a wonderful little boy Leila; he’s such an amazing little person to be with … I mean, looking at the world again through the eyes of a child … makes you forget what a shitty place the world can be.” She had to smile at that comment and nodded slightly, “he’s the light of my life Rob, I cannot imagine my life without him.” Her words touched him, and he finally understood what she said. He never realised or expected to experience the same feeling ever, and now he was given the opportunity to do so. His son means more to him than anyone ever did … maybe just as much as his son’s mother, Rob mused and smiled. “That brings me to the reason for wanting to talk to you. I want you to listen to what I have to say and then you can tell me what you think ok?” She nodded and waited for him to speak.

“I think the time is right that the world knows about my son Leila.” He delivered the words so calmly that she had difficulty believing he actually said them. She made a sound and wanted to bombard him with questions, but he held up his hands and continued, “at this moment the only people that knows about Gabriel’s existence is Jonny, Josie, my mom and management. I would really like to get to know my son Leila, and catch up on the time that I lost out on.” His words held no anger; they were gently pleading, speaking to Leila’s heart. “He’s my flesh and blood and I’m so very proud to call him my own; I couldn’t ask for more believe me, I love him to death. I would do anything for him. I don’t want to keep him hidden away Leila; I don’t think Gabriel deserves that at all. I am proud of his existence and I want the world to know that he’s my son. I would love to give him the world, see him grow up … love him, be there for him, be a real father to him. That’s all I’m asking Leila, what do you say?”

Leila was stunned at Rob’s words. To be perfectly honest, his plea was so honest and sincere, and she could understand his reasoning. She wanted to discuss this very matter with him a few days ago, but decided to leave it for a while. So many thoughts ran through her mind that she didn’t know where to start. “It’s overwhelming isn’t it?” Rob’s voice gently implored. She nodded slowly and offered a half smile, “It is indeed yes. But I agree with you on this issue; I think it is something that can’t just be decided upon impulsively. Listening to you speak … well, I would say that you have really thought this through.” He nodded at her words, wanting her to understand that his reasons were not selfish in any way. There was a few moments of silence before she asked, “have you thought what this revelation will have on your career Rob? What will your fans think?” He shrugged his shoulders, “to be very honest with you Leila, I couldn’t really give a fuck. I think I’ve paid my dues over and over. I have proved to myself and mostly to the rest out there that I am the best in my profession. I have always sold myself short so many times in my life and reaped the absurdity of it all. I have sold my soul to the devil a couple of times, but then one day, if you’re lucky enough, you’re given an opportunity to look beyond all the fake glitter and glamour. You’re given a chance to make your life worthwhile; you have a choice to decide to change the direction of your life. In all honesty Leila … I’m tired … so very tired of all of this backbiting fake shit. I have enough of everything; I will never want for any material stuff in this life. But my life was empty … until Gabriel. He changed everything for me, made me realise how selfish I actually am. And I would like to change that; I would like to make a real difference to the people that matter Leila, like you and our son. I want my son to be proud of his father. I want him to look back one day and realise how blessed he is.”

Leila felt her emotions playing havoc with her heart. She listened to every word he said, heard the sincerity in his voice, and also recognised the newfound freedom it offered him. She sensed that finally, Rob had come to that point in his life where wanted to his own person, and live the life he felt comfortable with and not because it will be in his best interest career wise. She looked at him at noticed how tired he looked; this decision must’ve weighed on his mind for a while now. She broke the silence, “do you mind if I think about this for a day or two … you know … just to work things out in my mind.” He nodded and got up from his seat, “sure. I imagine that it’s a mouthful to digest. Call me when you’re ready. I won’t make the move before I have your go-ahead.” Just then, she wanted to move forward and hug him close; she wanted him to know that she understood and that she won’t be a ***** about this. Rob sensed her hesitation and wished that she would just move past her barriers and do what her heart tells her. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it lightly, “thank you for your consideration.” She whispered the words softly because it was a special moment then, a moment filled with mutual respect and forgiveness.

Rob held onto her hand and searched her face, “what about us Leila? Is there a chance for us? Can you find …” He was interrupted by a knock on the door; the arrival of Jonny and Gabriel. She smiled at Rob apologetically and walked to open the door where two grinning faces greeted her happily.

Later that night when Gabriel was in bed and asleep, did Leila pick up the phone and dialed a familiar number. She waited for the call to be answered, not nervous at all, sure about her decision. “Hi Rob, its Leila. Listen … I thought about our discussion this afternoon. Go ahead. Tell the world about your son. You have my full cooperation.”

CHAPTER 22


Almost a week later, Rob held a press conference at his management’s offices in central London. Very short notice was given the day before that the world’s most loved entertainer would give a very important and personal press conference. Journalists from over most of Europe scurried to get to the venue on time and rescheduled their appointments. The room was already packed to capacity when Rob and David Enthoven arrived, and walked to their seats. The journalists noticed how relaxed Rob looked and spoke about it amongst themselves. It was well known in the industry that Rob was never keen to do interviews and most times he did so against his will. When he was in the mood, he would completely ruin the interview/press conference with his nonsense and senseless comments, frustrating the news industry to no end.

Five minutes after their arrival, David called their attention to the reason they were all there. “Ladies and gentlemen, Rob Williams called this press conference because he has something he wanted to share with you.” There were murmurs in the crowd and it quickly died down when Rob sat forward, smiling at David. He nodded slightly and moved closer to the microphone, “I never knew I was so popular to draw such a crowd of you lot here today” he said mockingly, and laughter was heard from his audience. “Now that we’re all on the same level, nice and relaxed, I will continue.” His face grew serious and he let his eyes roam over the faces in front of him, not feeling very comfortable at what he had to do, but recognising the element of surprise he has over them. It made him feel in control of the situation, and that meant a lot to him. “What I want to share with you all today will be a surprise that I can promise you.” A voice from the back shouted, “you’re getting married Rob?” Some more laughter from the room, and Rob smiled, “almost as good, but better actually.” He was silent for a few moments, stretching the tension just a little bit more and winked at David. He turned back to look at the expectant faces and continued; “I have a son. He’s almost 2 ½ years old and his name is Gabriel.” There was a stunned silence, the moment suspended in mid-air. Whatever it was these journalists expected to hear from Rob, this was probably not even on their list of possibilities.

The manner in which he delivered the news was also so to the point; there was no chances for any misunderstandings. Rob grinned slightly when he saw the confusion on the faces in front of him, and for a brief moment, felt triumph cursing through his veins. For the first time for as long as he can remember, they were truly stunned into silence. “Are there any questions?” he asked, looking around with a face devoid of any emotion. Several hands shot up eagerly and questions were called out, everyone clamoring for his attention. Rob held his hand over the microphone and turned to David, “now the fun and games start David. Let’s see if we can wrap this up quickly; I’m feeling a little claustrophobia suddenly.” David nodded slowly, understanding Rob’s reluctance, and still admired him for his decision to go ahead with this difficult decision.

“Mr. Williams, can you tell us a little more about your son? How long have you known about his existence?” Rob sighed and answered questions for the next 20 minutes before he called an end to the conference. “A full press release will be issued by my management offices in the next day or two. You will receive them in time to print the next day. If there are any questions, you can direct it to my management. Thank you for your time.” He got up and motioned to David that it was time to leave. The swiftly moved to the exit before any more questions could be asked. He sighed with relief the moment the door closed behind them, “thank God that’s over” he said and turned to David. He shook his head slowly as he looked at Rob, “you do realise that you’ve opened a can of worms this morning don’t you? Now they will dig until they get what they’re looking for.” Rob grimaced, “they do it anyway David, whether there is something or not. I will do anything in my power to protect Gabriel and Leila; I will not giving them the satisfaction of messing around with people I care about.” David sighed, wanting to say more on the subject, but know that it might be useless. Once Rob has an idea in his head, he didn’t let go of it easily.

There was a furor in the papers the next morning. Rob’s revelation made headline news as expected, and for the next couple of days it was the main event in the papers and the tabloids. There was endless speculation on the child’s whereabouts, and most importantly of all, who the mother was. Many suggestions saw the light, but of course, they were fishing in the dark. Rob’s friends and family were approached unscrupulously and hounded by the press for further information regarding his son, but nothing was forthcoming. Because of the lack of any details, and frustration at finding no new information, all kinds of absurdities made it into the tabloids. There were outrageous theories as to why Rob never mentioned a child before; anything from the child being deformed or mentally unstable to the fact that the child could be from another race.

Leila saw the press release of TV that night and felt that Rob was well in control of the situation. She watched as he expertly answered the questions without giving away any real information. She was grateful that Gabriel would remain anonymous at least, and in preparation off this revelation, she had briefed his daycare mother of the situation. Beth was a no-nonsense kind of person, and her husband Charlie, had promised to shoot anyone that would dare ask them any questions of Gabriel. Leila smiled when she recalled his words, and wouldn’t be surprised if he actually did exactly that. Charlie wasn’t a violent man, but he gets irritated with tabloid reports that were utterly ridiculous. At least she could count on their discretion, and was grateful that she had such understanding friends.

She carried on her and Gabriel’s routine as usual, but she took greater care to shield him from too many strangers. He was unperturbed by this extra precaution and didn’t ask any questions. He was still the happy little boy that was inquisitive about everything, looking forward to his frequent visits to Rob. Because of the stir he caused with the press release, he was ultra careful not to be spotted and followed to Leila’s home. They agreed that Leila would meet Rob at a pre-arranged destination where Rob, Jonny or both would fetch Gabriel. At first she thought that it was too cloak-and-dagger for the little boy, but she realised that Rob’s world is just too far removed from her own, and that things were never quite what they seemed.

One night, a few days into the media rage, Leila got a call from Rob. “You’re a brave man Rob … I don’t know how you deal with all this shit happening at the moment.” He laughed, “You have no idea, but I guess it could be worse. At least they don’t know the identities or whereabouts of you or Gabriel, and I would prefer it to stay that way.” She was grateful to hear him say the words, knowing that he really meant them. “Listen, I’ve been thinking …” he said, and Leila couldn’t resist, “you’ve been doing a lot of that lately haven’t you?” For a moment there was silence in his side before he started laughing softly, “touché. I guess I have yes. Anyway, I have a brilliant idea. Why don’t we go away for a few days until all this dust has settled? I think we could all use the break.” Leila was blown away by his words that she didn’t know what to say. “I don’t know Rob … I can’t right now” she answered a little hesitantly. “And why not?” he demanded, not used to being snubbed so quickly. “I have a dancing competition in less than 2 weeks and the practicing is quite intense. I have to be there for the students, I’m sorry.” Rob knew that what she said was true, but he wouldn’t let it go. “Is your studio’s dancing competition and the students more important than the welfare of your son?” It was a low blow, and Rob knew this, but hoping he could get away with it. “That wasn’t a nice thing to say Rob, and totally unfair. You know how it …” She was interrupted, “come on Leila; don’t be such a stick in the mud. Surely there’s someone in your class that can take over the reins for a couple of days while you’re away. The students will probably not even miss you while you’re gone.” She had to admit, his offer was very tempting and it’s been a long time since she’d been on holiday. She hesitated, “can I get back to you? Let me see what I can organize.” He sighed mockingly, “don’t take too long Leila, the offer is for a limited period only.” She heard the playfulness in his voice and had to smile, “I’ll call you tomorrow night ok? I’ll give you an answer then.” He’s mood lifted instantly at her words; she was making an effort to join him and Gabriel on holiday. Maybe Jonny was right all along; maybe this time together was all Leila would need to see the light …

CHAPTER 23


Two days later Rob, Leila and Gabriel jetted off to a secret destination somewhere in Europe. Up and until they were safely seated inside the jet, did Rob reveal where they were going. He smiled smugly when he looked at Leila, “I’m taking us to a friend’s holiday home in Stonehaven in north-east Scotland. You’ll love it there; it’s a beautiful little coastal town where the time goes by so slowly. The house is a little private but not completely secluded which is better than nothing I suppose.” Leila smiled excitedly, “that’s such a good choice! I’ve heard of Stonehaven but never been there.” Rob smiled, “so I take it I have your approval then Leila?” She grinned, “Don’t get clever Mr. Williams, but to answer your question, yes you made a good choice.” Before he could comment, Gabriel asked, “Will you take me swimming Rob?” with a voice filled with awe. Rob smiled, “it’s a bit cold to swim now mate, but I promise I will take you for walks on the beach and I’ll help you build sand castles.” The boy’s eyes grew wider, “really? Do you promise?” Rob looked at his son’s face and felt his breath catch, “I promise son.”

Stonehaven, Scotland

http://www.purerobbie.com/photoplog/images/371/large/1_phone-DSC00038.JPG

They arrived at Stonehaven where a car waited to pick them up and take them to their destination. When Leila looked at Rob questioningly, he blushed and answered, “The advantages of having a few quid.” She shook her head and had to smile at his discomfort; it was so rare to see him look like a little schoolboy caught in the act. The house was beautiful and built from huge boulders of stone, and overlooking a bit of the ocean. The closest house was quite a distance away and it was quiet and serene; truly a place to escape the madness from reality for a few days. The house was spacious and had all the comforts of any other modern house in the city, but it maintained its rustic look. The house was carpeted and added warmth to the rooms, and the staircase leading to the bedrooms, were made of wood. Rob showed them the house and when they got to the kitchen, Leila looked at Rob with a mischievous smile, “I think the only reason you invited me with was to do the cooking.” Rob looked at her, not sure if she was serious or kidding him. “Well” he answered after a few moments, “you have to earn your keep.” She was taken aback with his response and could only shake her head; “I just knew it was too good to be true” she said softly and winked at Gabriel. The little boy grinned at her and held onto her legs, “can we built in the sand Mommy?” he asked pleadingly. She ruffled his hair, “a little later sweetheart. Mommy is going to make us something nice to drink, would you like that?” He nodded and smiled at her, adoration in his eyes when he looked at her.

After they unpacked their bags and had some hot drinks, did Rob suggest that he take Gabriel for a walk. Leila looked at him, “are you sure? We can always do it a little later if you like.” He nodded, “sure I’m sure. You can rustle up something to eat while Gabriel and I take a walk before it gets too cold.” She looked at him in with a smile, “you’re a slave driver!” and moved out of the way as Rob moved closer. “You’re chicken Leila, do you know that?” She nodded solemnly, “so I’ve been told on a few occasions yes.” Rob picked up Gabriel and walked towards the stairs, “come mate, let’s dress you warmly. We don’t want you to get a cold now do we?” and disappeared up the stairs.

Leila looked at their retreating figures and smiled to herself. It was going to be an interesting few days, she mused as she got ingredients ready to start making an early dinner. Try as she might, she couldn’t keep up the pretense that she didn’t want Rob close to her. She would love to walk up to him and tell him how much he affects her, but still felt the old reserve. Rob made it very clear that he was definitely interested in her as a woman, but she was still a bit hesitant; she didn’t want to get hurt. She pushed these thoughts away from her mind, willing to give Rob and her a fair chance in the next few days. She had nothing to loose; if it didn’t work out, she’d still have Gabriel.

When Rob and Gabriel came back from their walk, they were shivering from the cold outside. Dinner was almost done, and Leila suggested that Gabriel had a bath while she set the table in the kitchen. Rob agreed immediately and picked Gabriel up and put him on his shoulders and together, father and son made their way to the bathroom.

Half-hour later, they were all seated around the big old table in the kitchen where it was cozy and warm. Leila made Shepard’s pie, one of Gabriel’s favorite dishes. While they ate, they chatted about their stay and made plans for the next few days. There was laughter and lightness around them, and often Leila would look at them and wonder why it couldn’t always be like this. Rob surprised her after dinner, “why don’t you put Gabriel to bed while I wash the dishes. I’m sure he’s had enough of me.” Leila looked a little skeptical, not sure what to make of the invitation. Before she could respond, Rob chirped; “I can wash dishes you know, I’m not totally useless. At least my Mom taught me that much.” She blushed, “that’s not what I was about to say anyway. Thank you for your offer, I’ll accept.” She took Gabriel’s hand and gently helped him off the chair, “come sweetheart, it’s time for bed.” Obediently the little boy got off the chair and looked at her. “Say goodnight to Rob” she urged gently, and watched as Rob went down on his hunches to be at eye level with the little boy. “Sleep tight mate, I’ll see you in the morning” he said softly and touched Gabriel’s cheek with his fingers. “Good night Rob, sweet dreams” and before anyone could do or say something, the little boy threw his arms around Rob’s neck and hugged him. “I wish you were my daddy.” The words hung in the silence of the moment, clear and profound. Rob’s eyes looked at Leila’s quickly and caught her totally unawares. In his eyes she saw the love and devotion for his son, but also a little hurt because his son doesn’t know of his existence yet. The moment lasted for a few moments before Rob looked away and hugged Gabriel back, “me too son, me too” he whispered in the boy’s ear.

Leila tugged Gabriel in bed and made sure that he was warm enough. She sat with him for a while and soon enough, his eyes lost the battle with gravity and fell asleep. She sat looking at him for a few minutes, gently wiping away some hair from his forehead. Her heart was overjoyed at his words a little earlier to Rob in the kitchen, and she realised that she couldn’t prolong this stupid game she was playing any longer. It was time that she put her insecurities and fears aside, and do what her heart’s been telling her for such a long time. “Your daddy is such a wonderful man Gabriel. He’s got a good heart too and he loves you very much … and I love him too …” she whispered to her son, knowing that maybe he’d heard her.

Someone else heard her words though. Rob was standing in the doorway of the room when he heard Leila’s soft voice. He didn’t want to interrupt her time with their son, and wanted to turn around and walk away. When he heard her whispered words, he was rooted to the spot, disbelief flooding him. ‘Can it be true?’ he asked himself silently, wanting desperately to believe that he heard right. He closed his eyes, ‘it is true …’ he whispered and silently made his way downstairs again, and each step he took, was a step filled with joy.

Hi Everyone,

It has finally arrived ... the last 2 chapters in the story of Rob, Leila & Gabriel. I hope you will like the ending ... I thought it was quite appropriate and leaves one with a sense that things are going to be ok; there may still be obstacles, but they will be overcome. Enjoy the read! :wink3:


CHAPTER 24

It was the early hours of the morning and Leila was still awake. She listened to the distant sound of the waves gently breaking on the shore, and the wind blowing around the house. The sound made her feel melancholy and she kept thinking about her and Rob; their relationship they’ve shared from three and a half years ago. And now … they had a son together. Gabriel was the focus of both their lives, and it made her glad to know that Rob truly cared for his son. It was so obvious to see how much he adored the little boy; it was in his eyes, the softening of his voice when he spoke of his son, and most of all, Rob’s actions spoke volumes of his dedication. She was so relieved that he was such a caring father; she suspected that he may be a wonderful father but never had the opportunity to see him in action so to speak. She knew she had a lot to be grateful for; if only she could get past the hurdle that’s stopping her from opening up to him again. She knew that many things have happened and time allowed changes, but still she felt a little hesitation for some reason. She turned around and punched her pillow, irritated because she couldn’t sleep.

She heard a small noise, stopped what she was doing and listened; it was Rob in the room next door, still awake and moving around. She wondered what was keeping him awake and waited to hear if there was any more noise from his side. Silence. She waited for a few minutes and got up, wanting some tea in the hopes that it will relax her into sleep. She opened the door quietly and tiptoed down the stairs, careful not to fall in the dark. She reached the kitchen safely and switched on the kettle. “It just boiled. The kettle that is” a voice said in the darkness. “Jesus Rob! You could’ve warned me!” she said in a loud whisper, waiting for her heartbeat to slow down. “Sorry” he said softly, and looked in her direction, “couldn’t sleep either? I thought I was the only one.” She made her tea and took a seat across from him. “Must be the different environment” she commented and took a sip from her mug. “Liar” he said softly, and wished that he could see her face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” she said nervously. Soft, mocking laughter from his side, “when are you gonna admit to yourself and to me how you really feel.” It felt as though someone threw cold water in her face when she heard Rob’s words. She made the connection immediately, and had a sinking feeling that he overheard her words to Gabriel earlier on. “No comeback Leila?” he asked softly, his voice as sensuous as molten chocolate. He waited for her response, praying that he wasn’t rushing things.

A sliver of moonlight lit the kitchen for a few seconds and Rob saw the look of longing on her face; it was a moment that took his breath away. Unaware of his movement, Rob got up and took the few steps to where she was sitting. He held out his hand and she looked up at him. In a haze, she took his hand and was slowly pulled up until she stood in front of him. At that moment, something happened that neither of them was aware of; their hearts and souls had communication in silence, the bridge gapped. Rob’s hand lightly touched her face, his thumb touching the soft skin of her cheek. He heard her sharp intake of breath and smiled softly. “My Leila … when are you going to stop running away?” he whispered softly, his voice embracing her whole body. She shivered in the dark, wanting him to hold her close. His hand lifted her chin so that she could look at him. Her eyes were speaking to him, inviting him closer but also pleading with him to be gentle with her. He bent his head lower and captured her waiting lips with his own. He groaned softly when he tasted her, feeling her body yielding against his. Her one arm circled around his neck and she pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Leila opened her lips slightly, and Rob slipped his tongue inside her mouth, slowly sweeping her away on a rush of emotions.

All she wanted to do was to surrender to him; she wanted to feel him touch her; make her his own, promising never to leave her again. Rob’s emotions were raging out of control; he could feel the blood cursing through his veins and making him weak. His hands encircled her body, pulling her closer still, not wanting to let her go. He could feel her response to his touch, and that made him crazy with desire; he wanted her so much that it was a physical pain. Leila’s groans were getting louder as Rob touched her hotly; his hands leaving a blazing trail on her skin. She was shaking from want, and leaned closer against him. She felt the outline of his desire for her against her stomach and slowly gyrated her lower body against his. She felt his body stiffen in her arms, and his hold on her tightened slightly. “Jesus Leila” he managed hoarsely and looked at her, his eyes burning with desire. She looked at him boldly, her eyes never flinching from his, “I don’t want to run anymore baby, I’m so tired …” He kissed her hard on the mouth and with one swift movement, scooped her up in his arms and made his way to the stairs.

He gently put her down, and watched her face closely. His heart was beating so loudly, but he didn’t notice; all his attention was focussed on the woman in front of him. His hand moved down and with a quick pull, he undid the belt of her gown. He slowly pushed it off her shoulders and it fell in a soft whisper in a heap on the floor. Her passion made her bold, and her hands expertly moved to his waist, slowly pulling down his sleep shorts. He kissed her lips again, gently this time; he wanted her to trust him completely. He pushed her down on the bed, making sure not to hurt her. The only sound in the silent room was their hurried breathing, speaking a language of their own. He covered her body with his and felt her warm skin burning into his. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply; there was nowhere else he wanted to be than right here, right now, with the woman that he loved.

Leila watched his face; her eyes used to the darkness by now. She saw the different emotions play off on his face, and wanted to share his thoughts, wanting to be one with him. Rational thought has long ago left them; from that moment in the kitchen when Rob held out his hand to Leila, it was a given that what was happening, was undeniable and could not be stopped. She felt Rob’s breathing on her face, gently caressing her. She looked up into his eyes and saw an emotion that has been there for such a long time, but she’d denied it for so long because she could never believe that he could love her. “Please be with me Rob. Be with me for the rest of the night” she whispered as she tenderly kissed him. Rob’s resolve gave way when he heard her words; he couldn’t or wouldn’t want to wait any longer, 3 years was a lifetime.

She slightly moved her body against his, inviting him to take her away. He looked at her, saw the raw passion in her eyes and couldn’t stop the impulse. He held her gently and kissed her brow when he slid into her, her warmth instantly engulfing him, pulling him deeper. Leila sighed contently when Rob filled her being, wanting to be closer. She initiated the rhythm of their union, and they moved together in perfect harmony. She kissed his face, touching his upper body; she couldn’t get enough of him. Rob was blown away from the emotions that raged through his body; he felt as though he was flying so high and never wanted to come down. “Baby … slowly … slowly …” she whispered, wanting to prolong the moment a little longer. Rob stopped their movement, looking into Leila’s eyes, “my God Leila … you’re beautiful” he said, his voice filled with emotion. “It’s because you love me” she whispered back, looking at him. His eyes widened a little, “you know?” he asked. She nodded, “yeah I do. And I’ll tell you another secret” she whispered and smiled at him. He watched the way her eyes softened and knew what she was going to say before she spoke a word. “I’ve loved you for so long Rob, from that first time …” He silenced her with his mouth, kissing her with all the love and passion he was feeling. She pulled him closer and whispered in his ear, “take me with you, I will follow …”

Their climax was an explosion of bright lights, and together they fell into a bottomless abyss on feather light wings. Rob’s name was on her lips as Leila took the leap with Rob, giving him her heart and holding his in the palm of her hands; a gift that was hers to take and to hold.

Much later, when Leila was curled up next to him, her one arm possessively around his waist, Rob was half-awake, sleep beckoning him. He let the last hour’s events run through his mind again; wanting to imprint it into his memory, because he never wanted to forget. He knew that he could rest now, because everything that he had always looked for, everything he ever prayed for was right here in this house with him.


CHAPTER 25

Rob woke up when the dark made place for the gray of the early morning. For a moment, he wasn’t sure where he was, and then flashes of what happened to him and Leila, came rushing back. He smiled as he remembered their tender lovemaking and the way they came together as if it’s always meant to be. He turned his head slightly and caught sight of Leila’s dark hair on the pillow next to him, and smiled. She was an incredible woman and she made him feel like no one else; he felt so alive when he was in her presence. He reached and touched her face gently, letting his fingers linger for a moment. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. He moved closer and kissed her lips softly; “you look lovely for someone that got so little sleep” he teased gently and watched as she blushed lightly. Her hands touched his face in wonder; she still couldn’t believe what happened between them and wanted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. “You’re not looking too shabby either for keeping a girl busy most of the night …” she whispered softly before pulling his head down to hers, and kissed him good morning.

He loved feeling her under him; her skin so soft, warm and inviting. The intensity of his need for her surprised him, and he felt the first stirrings of passion growing within him. He planted kisses all over her face, his hands roaming her body, touching her feverishly. “What do you say to some more practice Leila? Last night was hardly enough …” he whispered wickedly before capturing her lips with his in a passion-filled kiss. She giggled softly and looked at him, “what am I gonna do with you?” she whispered back, enjoying this new intimacy with him. He looked into her eyes and whispered; “just love me …”

Their lovemaking this time was urgent; hands touching boldly, mouths kissing, lips caressing naked skin … Passion flared like wildfire and they were unable to stop the intensity of their feelings for each other. Much too soon they reached the pinnacle and together they surrendered to the feelings of oneness and belonging.

Their legs were still tangled from their recent lovemaking when Rob sat up in bed and looked at Leila. “Tell me how you feel Leila. Tell me everything because I want to know.” She made herself comfortable, her knees drawn up and looked at him. She took a few moments to gather her thought before she started talking. “If you can remember … last night … when I told you that I love you, it was the God honest truth. I think I loved you from that first moment when you walked into the dance studio and demanded we go for coffee. I remember being so pissed off at you! I was thinking what an arrogant sod you were. Do you still remember? I got to know you a little … and we had our brief meetings now and again … I guess I didn’t want to admit to myself that you were getting under my skin … and I didn’t want that. I wanted a career and I was determined to stick to that. And then … that night in Germany happened. When my mouth ran away with me and I said all those nasty things about you. I was so scared of you that night; I thought you were going to hit me … I know you’d never do that of course, but you were so angry.” She blushed and looked down, feeling a little embarrassed. “Our lovemaking that night … it was unforgettable; I’ve never experienced anything like that before. Then the last night of the tour and you sang that song … I thought I was going to die. You have no idea how much I wanted to be that special someone you were singing about.” Rob took her hand in his and squeezed it lightly, letting her know that he was right there with her.

She smiled shakily and wiped her eyes before continuing; “Then Gabriel came along … and I was so happy. He’s the most important thing that happened to me. He made so many wonderful changes in my life; all for the better. I was forced to slow down, look at things differently and be open to new possibilities. He changed my life around and I’ll always be grateful that he was given to me. When he was born, I wished that you could be there to witness the birth of your son, be there to hold him and love him. By that time, I was so scared to call you and tell you about him. And you were right that night when you accused me of letting my ego stand in the way. I wanted to prove unto myself that I could do this on my own, that I could love Gabriel and look after him. So many nights I’d sit by his bed and just look at him, and wonder if I’m not robbing him of the gift of his father’s love.”

Rob hugged her close, just holding her to let her feel safe. He looked at her with a smile, “and then I played detective and searched for you all over. Ok … I had some great help too, I have to admit. Finally your Nan gave me your address.” She looked at him in surprise, “my gran told you where I stayed?” He nodded, “I had to use all the Williams charm I had to get it out of her, and the rest … well … you know that bit.” She looked at his face, saw the love in his eyes and smiled softly, “thank you for finding us Rob” she whispered softly. He kissed her mouth in a lingering kiss, his hands slowly stroking her back.

He held her at arms length and searched her eyes with his. “Leila, I wanna ask you something. You don’t have to answer right away. Take your time and think about it and let me know ok?” She nodded, because her eyes were full of tears suddenly, her feelings overwhelming her. “I love you. It’s as easy as that. I’m not gonna give you any nice speeches or try to impress you with fancy words; I’m going to speak of what is in my heart.” She took both his hands in hers and held onto them tightly. “I like the way I feel when I’m in your presence. I like the person who I am when I’m with you. You make me feel alive; you make me feel as though I can reach any star, all I needed to do was to reach out. You gave me the most wonderful gift I could even wish for; you gave me a son, you gave me Gabriel. Until I knew him, I thought my life was wonderful, and that I could never be in need of anything or anyone. The minute I set eyes on him, all those immature and false beliefs just fell away. For the first time in my life, I looked at another human being and knew that I loved him without knowing him. I’ve only known Gabriel a couple of weeks now, and you wanna hear something scary? I can’t imagine my life without him. I cannot fathom what my life would be like if he’s gone; probably shallow and empty as before. Leila, give me a chance. Give us a chance. Can we; you, me and Gabriel be a real family? I want to give my son the opportunity to know the love of both his parents. Do you think you …?”

He never had the chance to finish his sentence, because the next moment, Leila flung herself into his arms, tightly holding onto him. “Yes!” she whispered, “My answer is yes Rob, for always.” They were locked in an embrace that nothing or no one could separate. Time stood still as they held each other, knowing that they’ve walked a long journey strewn with obstacles, but they overcame them all, because in the end, love always prevails.

“Mommy? Rob?” a small voice asked from the side of the bed. Neither heard when Gabriel walked into the room, and now he looked at them with huge eyes full of questions. Rob went to the side of the bed and picked him up. “Morning son, did you sleep well?” The little boy nodded, still a little sleepy. He looked at Leila, “why’s Mommy crying Rob? Did you fight?” he asked in a scared little voice. Leila wiped her tears away with her hands and smiled at Gabriel, “I’m just happy sweetheart, that’s all.” Rob put his son on his lap, looked at Leila and smiled broadly. The little boy smiled at them and turned up to look at Rob, “would you please be my Daddy Rob? You always call me son.” Rob and Leila looked at each other and smiled. Their eyes mirrored all the love and commitment they could ever need from each other. Rob winked and looked at Gabriel, “well you see son, I’d like to tell you a story; it goes like this …”

When Rob was done talking a few minutes later, he held his breath and hoped that he explained the situation to Gabriel so that he could understand. He did not want the child to be more confused. Gabriel looked at him, understanding shining clearly in his eyes. He threw his little arms around Rob’s neck and held him tight. “Love you Daddy,” he said in a soft sure voice. Rob closed his eyes and tried to stop the tears escaping, but gave it up. Silently, the tears rolled down his cheeks, but they were tears of joy. Finally, he could breathe easy; he had everything his heart could ever hold. He kissed Gabriel’s hair and whispered, “love you too son.”




THE END.